At work which is busy but good, I am a bit emotionally fragile today because today is the 4th birthday of the twins I gave up for adoption.
I am a bit sad but also joyful for the loving family with a Mom and a Dad they have today. I was able to send their Mom a text saying happy birthday and sending my love. So all is well, God’s got this, and he sees my heart and will not leave my side.
Love to you all I’m glad you are all with me on this emotional day.
Morning check in Day22
Feeling slightly “off” this morning. Had another messed up dream last night about my ex (which I posted in more detail as a separate thread with a trigger warning as to not trigger anyone on here). It just baffles me that after 13 years I am still effected by what happened.
Anyway, I am going to change my day around. It’s beautiful out today! Going to eat healthy and get some sunshine by going out. Have 1 appt to take care of at noon. And then definitely do some meditating I think and praying. Thats my day! Hugs to all! Hope u all have am addiction free day
There she is! My little pace car twin
Big congratulations to you Stella!! On your 800 days.
You are such an asset to EVERYONE’S recovery here at TS. Thank you
Thanks stella. I will definitely ride it out, and I’m glad you are noticing a difference. I definitely look forward to some peace in my mind so I can navigate decisions better. I also am a little scared bc now I need to find another doctor, I did not like the doctor at North Star, just quick survey and here pump some meds but did listen atleast about my addiction and factor that in, but wasn’t good at making sure my scripts were filled or really listening when I said the stuff wasn’t working. So I need to find someone who is going to listen and also not say no to something for my ADHD, the non stimulants just definitely didn’t work. Idk what’s gonna work im not a doctor lol
Hello. Hope your doing well.
You should try getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep. Maybe a lack of sleep is what i causing you to feel exhausted. Then try to eat healthy whole foods and stay hydrated. I do not know your situation you are dealing with but try these simple things.
You should exercise also.
Hope that helps and try explaining your situation. Maybe someone can relate and provide you with some good tips.
Have a good day.
Yay Lisa! Well earned, for sure. You are inspiring in the work you’ve put into recovery and how it has paid off as you navigate real life challenges. Big congratulations!
I’m feeling pretty good today! .( Until I stop to question it???) But no-it’s a good day. The sun is shining and I have a couple hours to myself now. Just figuring out what I feel like doing instead of worrying too much about I think I should be doing😃
I am sorry you experienced that Cam. Learning which voice we are hearing is important. I recently explained that my lower self, my “head voice”, my monkey brain speaks fast and very direct actually like its on speed!!! ( go figure ). Whereas my higher self, my intuition, my heart which is my wisdom speaks slower and softer and this is the one I am trusting. The more I listen to her the more the other shuts up. I have noticed that my head voice isn’t as loud as it used to be and my heart voice is louder. I believe this is due to meditation practice.
I am glad you got a good night’s rest and you are right some days it is 10 forward, 9 back. The most important part though is “where am I today from where I was a month ago, 2 months ago, etc” It might not feel like today is better than last week but I can assure you that your today I waaay better than your 2 and 3 months ago. Just keep putting one foot infront of the other faced in the right direction, you are doing this!!!
Thanks. I have bad nightmares and insomnia so sleep is so really difficult. Having a hard time eating as well. Unfortunately basic self care is a struggle
I finally crashed and slept 13 hours. I’m still really tired, but I feel much more stable. Gonna try to push myself and eat a full dinner tonight. I think I’m going to skip this chapter of my statistics class. I have a 97% so it won’t cause me to fail or anything. It’s due by midnight and I really really don’t want to stress myself out anymore than necessary.
I could just be being lazy with the math. But I slept well and that hasnt happened in so long I’m gonna take it as a cause for celebration. Even it is me being lazy, I really don’t care. Whatever helps me get through another day Alive, sober, and safe is what I’ll do.
I love seeing you on your way in this life in recovery. 
