When doors close, new ones open. You are going to be ok.
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1014
Coffee. Early shift. I’m pretty good. Therapy was good yesterday. There’s only 5 sessions left. I’ll be happy to have Thursdays to myself again, but I’m slightly apprehensive about not having this safety net no more.
I’m not so exhausted anymore after a session. I think it has become easier for me now to access my feelings. It’s not such a struggle anymore to get beyond all the defences I build in over 50 years of not trying to feel.
It’s still scary to feel. There’s a lot of negative feelings and emotions inside of me too. It’s not all fun, not at all. Still, this way is so much better than not feeling at all, or not feeling anything besides a huge knot of anxiety and stress, the only thing I really felt for the last 20 years of my life.
Life is not easy and it never will be. But with becoming sober and clean at least I gave myself the chance to actually life my life. To at least have an idea of purpose, to have an idea of what it actually means to be alive. Forever grateful for that. And forever grateful to all of you right here. Without you this would never happen.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come of it. Love from Amsterdam.
@Minatasha We all know how it works so nobody is laughing lady. Proud of you. Keep going. Good times and bad ones. Hugs.
@PaigeTurner You’re doing this. You’re making progress. Small steps. Your own way. In constant motion indeed, which is a solace to me. We’re not the same people we were, despite the baggage we all carry. We evolve and today we will act different form yesterday. We learn. We become new. One day at a time. I’m glad writing it out helped.
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@Its_me_Stella is right
And also another quote I saw a few years ago really had an impact on my choices in life…it said something like this
“Whenever you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else” and “Whenever you say yes to others, make sure you’re not saying no to yourself”
It sounds like you know what you need to do for yourself. It’s hard letting go. But we need to let go in order to move forward♥️
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I know this too.
Although it surely doesn’t make the sting of steps towards and of closing those doors any less painful.
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Day 178 checking in ready for another work day get to a meeting over the weekend not been to a meeting in around a week need to get back on track have a good day everyone 
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75th day
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awesome work 
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Checking in Sober and Hang-Over Free.
Tonight I start my first night shift out of 4 shift. Since I woke up early this morning I will try to have some more sleep in the afternoon. I find it quit hard to sleep during the day, it reminds me of my drinking days, when I was sleeping in between my binge drinking sessions.
I am not gone worry anymore about it if I can sleep or not. If I cant sleep, I will be tired at work 
shit happens, no big deal. I have been tired my whole drinking life, so I can handle 4 days 
One think for sure… I am not gone drink myself to sleep.
Have a nice sober day my friends
@JennyH Congrats on your 
days! Well done 
@SelfLove_42 months thats amazing! Congratulations. Keep up the good work! 
@roses4me Congratulations on this milestone 
Great numbers!
@anon86198612 Congratulations on your 
days of sobriety!
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App is being super wierd occasionally??..
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I think the TS- server is little busy. I have the some problem on my PC
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Hey all, checking in on day 642. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Hey Cam
Good to here you doing good and keeping strong. Just wanted to chime in…love the new Bel Air Show 
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Happy Friday all. Spring is definitely in the air here in Canada. The sun and getting out in it definitely helps keep my mood boosted. Thankful🙏🏽
Two days from 4 months. Thankful. ODAAT.
Strong and Sober 24.
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@SelfLove_42 Congratulations!
@anon53116147 We all need a vent sometimes, no need to apologise.
@Kat261 Sounds like u are self-aware and ready to take action if needed, great stuff!
@anon86198612 Well done!
@CATMANCAM Well done for staying strong!
@Jmillwill It is so great to be present and perceptive for our children.
@PaigeTurner Sending strength
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Day 584
My son’s graduation from elementary school today, and then lunch at an Italian family restaurant, and Buskin Robin’s ice-cream for dessert.
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Day 5. Now it is right, I was miscounting my days adding one to the total. I hope you all have a great day and I wish everyone all the love and all the power.
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Thanks Kevin, that’s not something my mom has ever said to me. She apologized yesterday and said it’s how her mother was.I didn’t argue or even fight with her for her to say that, I was being quiet the whole time in the house. The only person I was salty towards was the girls mother through txt message and still it wasn’t even very rude or right of her to show my mom and then my mom came in showing me the message saying really mike. I said what mom I’m aloud to express my stress to Mariah, and then I told her maybe I should just give up the tattooing. And that’s when she said sure mike quit tattooing and why don’t you just go back to using while your at it… My mom definitely has a lot of stress there truck just broke and few other things. But I really do understand what your saying and yeah sometimes I be rude and crabby for no reason. I definitely don’t want to use the nice weather has been a little triggering I can’t lie about that. Like I said the treadmill has helped my mood but yes sometimes I am not good at working my recovery and certainly do just sit in the selfishness. Having adhd is seriously so hard bc it really does have me wanting to constantly escape my head and feeling even when I know and don’t want to use. Idk i do have shitty behavior sometimes tho and especially lately I can see how it drags others down too
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Hey everyone! Day 19 today. Staying focused with no real urge to even think about drinking. I’m really enjoying watching the days stack up. I think it’s because I am starting to feel in a better mood. It feels like my emotions are evening out and I am starting to wake up with more energy. These past few days are the first time I can remember where I actually woke up and felt hungry. I haven’t felt like that in a long time. It feels new and weird to me 
. Guess I will have to get used to it!
I’m glad I am on this journey and glad that I have this community. Have an amazing Friday everyone!
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Day 155. The day wasn’t bad yesterday had a good day with the girls. And finally got try my new machine and wow is definitely all I have to say the machine is amazing. So comfortable, constant very smooth hit. I worked on my arm with some Of my opaque greys and the ink just glided in so smooth very very impressed and arm looks a little more presentable lol. Going to hit the treadmill and acupuncture mat for a little much love
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Thanks for clarifying, Mike. From the new details that you shared, I don’t believe that your mother was serious when she said that. Sure, she did not act in the most supportive way, but the message that I got was…
It would be just as foolish to quit tattooing as it would be to get back into using drugs.
I actually support that message. You’re heading in a great direction. We all just want to see you keep growing.
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