You are Such a blessing Eric!!
Congratulations on 800 “not today’s.”
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Congratulations on 800 days @Dazercat
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Hey all, checking in on day 636. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Happy Saturday! Another 24 hours sober. Busy day ahead. Teaching classes this morning, fixing the dishwasher, and then screenprinting some T-shirts and uniforms. Might be able to fit a nap in somewhere haha.
Have an awesome day my friends!
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Boom! There it is @Dazercat. I fell asleep before you posted last night. Anyway, so f**king proud of you, my friend. I remember your very first post and I’m glad you stuck around. It’s been such a pleasure walking this path alongside you. Much love to you 
Congratulations on 800 days! 
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@Dazercat huge congrats on 800 days friend!! Proud of you
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Oh Eric! I hope ur okay too. I honestly to God was going to post to you last night asking how u were. Then my new med I took at 930pm kicked in and i got so groggy and tired for some odd reason (cuz the side effects haven’t been bad lately). Anyway… my friend… u DID NOT steal my calmness lol absolutely not! It was me drinking a shit load of coffee and trying to bead something. I was super shaky and getting that damn thread thru the hole was pissing me off haha which lead to more intense emotions. I’ve only brought 1 cup of coffee with me to work today
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I have an event coming up March 12. I’m a little nervous too, but I have been completely open with my partner and even though he still drinks, he has been completely supportive. @BroccoliHighKicks suggested sharing what you wrote. I honestly think that’s such a fabulous idea. I have been honest with my husband and he has seen me struggle but he had never ever been so supportive in the way he is now after I have shared some of the posts I’ve written here. There’s something about writing on here that allows me to get my true feelings out in a way that Comes straight from the heart and that is exactly what you have done with your post. And there was also another thread called “friend coming over” … I’m sorry I wish I knew how to post the link to that conversation here I’m still figuring things out on here. Anyways it talked a lot about that just being completely open and honest because that’s the only way that someone’s going to know what’s really going on and if they don’t they can’t support you in the way that you need. I hope that you can communicate with your girlfriend and if you are completely honest then she should be 100% behind you. The same thing happened with my best friend when I told her that I was just going to cut down on drinking and she said to me “But why?, You’re so fun when your drink!”
After I actually admitted that I am an alcoholic and I cannot drink not even one sip she felt so bad about her comment and was 100% supportive.
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But enough about me tho lol how are YOU doing? How are things going on your end? With the move and whatnot? Feeling any calmer?
Love u too Eric! Ur an amazing friend! Always have been for the years I’ve been on here 
Hope our day today is better for both of us 
AND… happy 800 days!!! I just saw this!! So damn proud of you!!! Way to go!!!
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Congratulations, Eric! It’s so good to see you on your sober journey, growing each day! 
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WOOOOOHOOOOOO
WELCOME TO THE 800 CLUB
Sorry for being late to the party. This was me last night…
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32 is so young! I talked to my grandma a while back and she said she didn’t graduate nursing school until 34. She was a phone operator before that. I always assumed she was a nurse her whole life. It kinda clicked in my head for me that there is no time limit! Kids make everything harder too!! Seriously, don’t be so hard on yourself. (They are great and all don’t get me wrong. 
) It is so so awesome that they see you over there working on yourself. And you’re SOBER, you’re a great role model. Kids push their limits!! …OMG They try to see what they can get away with. I feel like I’m constantly bargaining with my kid and thinking up ways to bribe her or punish her. Lately the whole “counting to 3 or you get in big trouble” has been working LOL. I haven’t made it to 3 yet but she knows when I start counting I am serious! Hang in there. You’re an amazing dad!! Seriously. Better than my dad was… You’re there for your kids and you love them through thick and thin. You are awesome. Much love.
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Learning more about myself everyday. Drinking was my escape, my coping mechanism for so so long and for so many reasons… I’m done giving it that much power. I am only looking up from here 
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He is, he says he is thing to cut down but we will see.
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Let’s go! Proud of you @anon42928441
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Thank you @Tito23 !!!
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Kat here checking in on Day 220, still clean and sober as f***.
Have my eldest son over, he is 15 so can stay alone while I work. Loving it!
Hope to catch a Zoom meeting tonight.
Love Kat
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Checking in day 596!!! Ahh so close to 600 days… holy cow I’m excited about that!
Taking my daughter to DisneyLand this weekend for her 4th birthday. Haven’t packed! So doing that now and then leaving in a few hours.
@Butterflymoonwoman Congrats on making it to 25 days again! That’s so awesome about your hubby turning down the “food”…
Proud if you guys.
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Well I’m talking in another sense that even if he isn’t going to cut down or think about quitting drinking is he supportive of you? I know it would be awesome if my husband stopped drinking or cut down more but I don’t think that’s going to happen. He has to do it because he wants to, not because he thinks he should do it to support me. I’m just talking about being supportive in other ways. Like my husband realized I was going through withdrawals in some ways because I was super irritable and he was just way more sensitive and tried to be more helpful. He’s listening to my feelings on it and allowing me to discuss my journey with him without him feeling any pressure for me to get him to stop drinking. In fact I even asked him “does this inspire you even just a little bit?.. Do you ever think about trying to quit?” and he was completely upfront with me and said “nope, not really. not right now” so he can be supportive to me and listen to me and I can try to be supportive of him on his journey but I never asked him to quit anymore. I’ve done it in the past and it just makes things worse… In fact I think it makes him drink even more 
.(okay that’s not really funny but just ironic)
It does scare me a little that we will lose some connection, but I think if we both really want it to work it will. And we do. There’s a difference between being supportive by quitting drinking and just being supportive. In fact my husband’s always had a hard time with giving compliments or positive feedback because he was brought up without any of that. His answers to most things are "pretty good " “not too bad”. My daughter sings and plays the piano and when she sings new song I always say “oh my gosh that’s so amazing”… And when she shows my husband he says (with a slightly puzzled look on his face)…“oh yeah, what song is that again?”. Anyway sorry for rambling but there’s a point to this introduction to the rest of my story… I woke up this morning to a note from my husband next to my coffee that was already to go saying “I really want you to know how proud I am of you. I know I probably don’t make it easier for you and I’m sorry for that. But 12 days!!!. 2 more days to 2 weeks!!! Sooooo good. My love for you keeps going every single day. You really do blow me away with your determination and I love you for that and everything else. You are so much to me” that’s the kind of support I need and it just blew me away. I think it’s because I finally stepped back and stopped trying to fix his stuff. It’s not going to make things perfect but I just feel like we’re both willing to accept where each other is at in this journey and support each other in that without feeling pressure on either side.
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Morning check in
Day26
This morning I initially woke up feeling funky. I had another messed up dream about my abusive ex. They are happening so often now that I’m getting used to them lol I mean it kind of throws me off and it always takes me a few min after waking up to get going… but im fine now. Heading to work now. It feels like a very cool spring day! I love this 
I reached 26 days today and I am SO damn proud… passed my last streak of clean time and now moving forward. Weird things are happening to my mind… I’ll be honest it’s kind of overwhelming. By doing meditation and prayer everyday (well I miss meditations on some days), and also with being clean from all mind altering substances, my memory is coming back very slowly. This is huge bcuz I have HUGE chunks of time missing. I literally don’t remember most of my childhood or anything up until the age of 30 or so besides pieces of my life here n there. It all just feels like a blur. I’m feeling “genuine”… that’s the best way I can describe it. I feel like a person and literaly not the walking dead. My creativity is coming back. I’m feeling passion for things. These things are beautiful, unexpected gifts of recovery. And I dont just give all the credit to being clean. Bcuz in the past, I have just been clean and done nothing else and I never experienced what I am now. I really think that incorporating meditation and the spiritually aspect of recovery this time is helping. I don’t even hate myself anymore… I mean there are things that I don’t really like a whole lot, but I dont hate myself. And that is HUGE! I’m feeling grateful today Hope everyone has a wonderful day!
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