Checking in daily to maintain focus #40

[kat261]

Kat here checking in on Day 220, still clean and sober as f***.

Have my eldest son over, he is 15 so can stay alone while I work. Loving it!

Hope to catch a Zoom meeting tonight.

Love Kat

[Clarity]

Checking in day 596!!! Ahh so close to 600 days… holy cow I’m excited about that!
Taking my daughter to DisneyLand this weekend for her 4th birthday. Haven’t packed! So doing that now and then leaving in a few hours.

@Butterflymoonwoman Congrats on making it to 25 days again! That’s so awesome about your hubby turning down the “food”… Proud if you guys.

[Miranda]

Well I’m talking in another sense that even if he isn’t going to cut down or think about quitting drinking is he supportive of you? I know it would be awesome if my husband stopped drinking or cut down more but I don’t think that’s going to happen. He has to do it because he wants to, not because he thinks he should do it to support me. I’m just talking about being supportive in other ways. Like my husband realized I was going through withdrawals in some ways because I was super irritable and he was just way more sensitive and tried to be more helpful. He’s listening to my feelings on it and allowing me to discuss my journey with him without him feeling any pressure for me to get him to stop drinking. In fact I even asked him “does this inspire you even just a little bit?.. Do you ever think about trying to quit?” and he was completely upfront with me and said “nope, not really. not right now” so he can be supportive to me and listen to me and I can try to be supportive of him on his journey but I never asked him to quit anymore. I’ve done it in the past and it just makes things worse… In fact I think it makes him drink even more .(okay that’s not really funny but just ironic)
It does scare me a little that we will lose some connection, but I think if we both really want it to work it will. And we do. There’s a difference between being supportive by quitting drinking and just being supportive. In fact my husband’s always had a hard time with giving compliments or positive feedback because he was brought up without any of that. His answers to most things are "pretty good " “not too bad”. My daughter sings and plays the piano and when she sings new song I always say “oh my gosh that’s so amazing”… And when she shows my husband he says (with a slightly puzzled look on his face)…“oh yeah, what song is that again?”. Anyway sorry for rambling but there’s a point to this introduction to the rest of my story… I woke up this morning to a note from my husband next to my coffee that was already to go saying “I really want you to know how proud I am of you. I know I probably don’t make it easier for you and I’m sorry for that. But 12 days!!!. 2 more days to 2 weeks!!! Sooooo good. My love for you keeps going every single day. You really do blow me away with your determination and I love you for that and everything else. You are so much to me” that’s the kind of support I need and it just blew me away. I think it’s because I finally stepped back and stopped trying to fix his stuff. It’s not going to make things perfect but I just feel like we’re both willing to accept where each other is at in this journey and support each other in that without feeling pressure on either side.

[Butterflymoonwoman]

Morning check in
Day26
This morning I initially woke up feeling funky. I had another messed up dream about my abusive ex. They are happening so often now that I’m getting used to them lol I mean it kind of throws me off and it always takes me a few min after waking up to get going… but im fine now. Heading to work now. It feels like a very cool spring day! I love this I reached 26 days today and I am SO damn proud… passed my last streak of clean time and now moving forward. Weird things are happening to my mind… I’ll be honest it’s kind of overwhelming. By doing meditation and prayer everyday (well I miss meditations on some days), and also with being clean from all mind altering substances, my memory is coming back very slowly. This is huge bcuz I have HUGE chunks of time missing. I literally don’t remember most of my childhood or anything up until the age of 30 or so besides pieces of my life here n there. It all just feels like a blur. I’m feeling “genuine”… that’s the best way I can describe it. I feel like a person and literaly not the walking dead. My creativity is coming back. I’m feeling passion for things. These things are beautiful, unexpected gifts of recovery. And I dont just give all the credit to being clean. Bcuz in the past, I have just been clean and done nothing else and I never experienced what I am now. I really think that incorporating meditation and the spiritually aspect of recovery this time is helping. I don’t even hate myself anymore… I mean there are things that I don’t really like a whole lot, but I dont hate myself. And that is HUGE! I’m feeling grateful today Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

[Rockstar24777]

Day 638 clean and sober today. I hope everyone has a great day today, love you guys!!!

[Butterflymoonwoman]

Thank u so much! I feel good. My cravings are getting abit more frequent tho. It’s okay tho, I realize they are there and I just work thru them and use the tools! I’m proud of my hubby for sure. I really am. I want so much for him and us. But I also know I have no control over what he does. Thankfully he hasn’t used the past 26 days either. Hoping it stays that way. All I can do tho is continue to take care of me

[Butterflymoonwoman]

Proud of you also for ur upcoming 600 days!!! Holy… that’s amazing
I hope ur little one enjoys her day

[Minatasha]

Another day. Hope to get real work done. Tired and trying to get my mind able to focus on reading and writing. Practice writing paragraphs, pages.

I also have art block. Thats what ill miss, is days smoking and painting.

But my art is worth less if im a shitty person, so.

[Miranda]

Im so damn proud that you’re so damn proud! You should be!!! Keep enjoying those gifts of recovery, and keep reminding yourself of them when you’re having a tough moment. Thanks for being here

[Butterflymoonwoman]

Thank u! I really am…and I’m trying sooo hard not to get too excited about 30 days… but I really am haha I never thot I could do it… honest to God. I thought I had gone so far down that I was stuck in addiction. I just couldn’t get passed 3 days. And now… its 26. It BLOWS me away! Really it does. I’m proud of you also! Very proud ODAAT we are doing this!

[Butterflymoonwoman]

Hope ur day improves what do u like to write? What kind of art do u do? I’ve heard artistic blocks are awful and very frustrating.

[Nowenbrace]

Keep rocking that quit Eric! Congrats on the 800!
You are an inspiration for us, Thanks for the shares!!!

[Miranda]

I know what you mean about trying not to get too excited about reaching those bigger milestones. Scares me when I start to get excited because I freak myself out that I’m going to mess up. But the last almost 2 weeks have actually gone by faster than any other time in my life in the last 10 years. I’m still really suffering brain fog though and it’s driving me crazy. Anyways there’s a reason why they say ODAAT. Will you guys totally laugh at me if I told you I just figured out what that meant

[Twizzlers]

Congratulations on your 800 days thats massive

[Dazercat]

Checking in with much gratitude for 800 days of sobriety. It’s such a treat to wake up to all the congratulations and admiration. Ya I love it
It feels good. And I’m worth it!
Like I was just saying on the gratitude thread.
When we recover loudly we keep others from dying quietly.
Thank you sober twin @Its_me_Stella
And @Lisa07 and @Mno its been quite a ride. We’re really doing this. We make a great team. I love you guys and being on this journey with you all.
Thank you @anon74766472
I’m doing good. @Butterflymoonwoman Dana. We got your back. Thought of you this morning on my Just for Today Meditation reading. I think you read that. I never miss a morning of this. And I couldn’t wait to show you. Check it out if you haven’t read it already. Today will be a good day for both of us as long as we don’t pick up.
Thanks @Nordique @KevinesKay
@Laraellelarissa your gif game has been incredible. I appreciate your love. Thanks for always being here.
Thanks @DTC52 and Drew. @icebear

[Butterflymoonwoman]

Haha there’s certain abbreviations that I didn’t know in the beginning either. I had to ask and felt silly lol I do my best to not think too far ahead. I have goals of course that I’m working on… but as for the day to day stuff, I just try to stay in the next 24 hours

[Dazercat]

Thank you. @Twizzlers one of my favorite names to see on here and avatar. Appreciate you.
Thanks Owen @Nowenbrace meditation buddy.
Thanks @kat261 your are also very inspiring to me on my journey. You keep kicking ass every day. I love it. Still clean and sober as fuck. I’ll say it for ya you’re awesome.

@anon42928441 20 Days!!

I’m so glad your here. ODAAT and love the coffee cup thread. Thanks for that. And the gif thread. Oh gosh I hope those are both yours. I love ‘em.

Thanks y’all.
Let’s not drink or pick up our DOC today.
And we probably won’t pic up tomorrow either.
No we won’t!

[Butterflymoonwoman]

I do like to read the daily mediation reading… usually from NA as that’s the book I have at home. But I am currently at work so didn’t read it yet. Or were u suggesting a diff daily meditation reading? I’m glad we are both clean and sober today is a good day!!! I feel it!

[Dazercat]

Just click the link. Just for Today Meditation
I do the on line one each morning.

[anon42928441]

They are mine! I’m glad you like them and I’m so happy to be apart of this community I wouldn’t have been able to make it this far without this app and some seriously amazing people I have met through it