I love this so much! It’s absolutely gorgeous:heart:
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Day 115
Feeling great today. Dropped the kids off and went to a farmers market with the wife. Had a great time trying new stuff and eating at a food truck. Alrighty everyone have a great day!
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Checking in
Day26
My client is getting ready for us to go out for a walk and enjoy the +8C weather here. Thought I’d do a bit of reading on this new book I got online. It has some really cool concepts. Like talking to your anger or sadness or frustration, with tenderness and as if you were talking to a little child… just calm and reassuring. It talks about treating our minds, emotions, and our body with nonviolence and nonduality… realizing that we need not to be afraid of our negative emotions bcuz we can transform them. Very cool! So much that I think I’ll actually purchase the book instead of borrowing it.
Anyway, day is good! Liking how I’m feeling today. Choosing to be happy and joyful!
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Thanks girl. Yes I have tried the whole 123 thing. I’ll start with one and usually one of them will go 2 3 really fast and take off running. They are certainly not afraid of me lol I have smacked each of their but’s twice when they were younger and felt like the biggest piece of shit and told myself never again. I tried talking to my ex when she came to get them yesterday and she started raising her voice and let’s go get in the car and when the girls weren’t listening she raised her hand at them so I see she is using intimidation and fear towards them. She’s actually never done that in front of me before so idk if she was trying to show me this is how it’s done or what but I wasn’t the least impressed. I kept my mouth shut and just plan to keep doing what I’m doing and accept there is gonna be some crazy days lol. Much love to u as well 
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Thank you 
Love your stylin “avatar of the moment”. 
Oh 
and I forgot your my hundred pace care. 
Look at you with 900 ODAATS. I’m so happy you’re here again. Congratulations LMC 
Spring in London 
my favorite.
Maybe next year 
Keep up the great work.
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Day 5
& 
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So great!! 
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What what?? That’s like our summer weather! 
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Congratulations for 800! That’s truly amazing.
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Aww you’re a sweet dad! Nothing wrong with being the “fun” parent. They probably enjoy being around you more because of that. I’ve definitely developed this mean mom yell. My daughters dad gets to be the fun one. We kinda fought over who got to be the fun one because we both wanted to be it and she just walked all over us. So I guess I’m the mean parent but oh well. I’m mainly the one who takes care of her so I need her to listen or I will lose my mind. She knows I love her.
I did try positive reinforcement for a while where she earned stickers for doing what she’s supposed to do and then after 8 stickers she won a prize. That worked for like a month! 
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Oh my gosh I’m sooooo excited. My husband and I are on our way to get a kitten. I hope it all works out…it was an ad on classified. We’ve been wanting one for a while. We lost our cat to old age over a year ago and we have missed her and my dog has missed having a budy around. They were best of friends. Wish me luck 
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I can believe it! You’re amazing, my friend. Congrats on that number-you rock. As I always say…continue to be that bright light we all need on this app. I hope you have a wonderful day
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Checking in, day 491 without alcohol. I got home at last, feeling very exhausted. This week was very demanding emotionally, it just proved that I don’t have stable self-knowledge to rely on yet. It was hectic and overwhelming. I’m glad I’m back in my everyday life, far from everything that’s unsettling.
I had been smoking in the last few months but now I left my last cigarettes at my friend’s place on purpose and I haven’t smoked today. So today is day 1 no smoking for me.
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Checking In
Clean Time: 4 Days
I have been going to work consistently which is huge for me. I am struggling with the withdrawal symptoms from cocaine still - i.e the depression and anxiety mainly + minor cravings. I am also struggling a lot with my untreated ADHD.
My co-worker yelled at me today for not paying attention, but I’ve been trying SO hard at work to be productive and do what I need to. Much harder than usual. So its kind of annoying that now I am getting flack for the most minor of things. 
Then a customer was talking horribly about an addict who walked into the store. She is a regular and we always have good conversations and she definitely enjoys my company. & she’s going off about how she can’t stand crackhead and all I could think was “Yeah I last smoked crack four days ago sooo…” No one really knows about my struggle so I hear a lot of people’s judgements and just kind of quietly suffer through it.
But I haven’t used and I am doing what I should. I’m hitting a meeting after I get out of work. Everything will be fine.
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I doubt your a mean mom. And I apologize I should of worded what I said better. My ex is a great mom I don’t think she is a bad or even mean mom, she certainly does a lot more then I in a lot areas and is definitely a super hero to me.
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Congrats on being home, on being alcohol free for 491 days, and smoke free today. These are very unsettling times Tomek. We do the best we can. Now relax a bit friend. Hugs.
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Sending you love and light-hang in there, you are doing the hard work and it’s going to all be okay
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Omg… it bothers me to no end when I hear people put down others. By looking at me at this present moment, u would’ve never known that I’ve struggled with drugs for 22 years or that I was a prostitute or have mental health concerns. I don’t dress or act like I’ve ever had an issue with those things… unless I get angry… then the “hood” side makes an ugly appearance haha (trying to work on that). So when I’m standing next to someone who is saying something about someone who is addicted or who has worked the streets etc, I get very defensive bcuz they are coming from a place of complete ignorance. It’s sad really, the lack of compassion some people have.
The attention piece ur going thru does get better. I’ve been clean from crack (my old DOC) for 26 days today. My emotions are still like a damn roller coaster but my memory is coming back, my focus is much stronger (like I can hold my attention on 1 thing for some time and repeat back a sentence from what people tell me now… where as I could only remember maybe 3 words). I’m more intune with myself and my surroundings. Seriously tho ur doing great girl! Take what people say lightly. That’s their issue if they have problem with u doing ur best. Don’t let these people or their actions rent space in ur head
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I am beyond proud of you and the fight and determination that you display. You show up everyday and face each challenge as a warrior does. If I could offer anything, it would be to trust the process. As the mind becomes clearer, and the fog lifts, we see and feel our pain up close. This will pass, that I know for sure. It took me three years to “even go there”, but I am finally free of the prison (inside my head) I was living in. I wish that and so much more for you. Life is a beautiful thing, it is your time to live and enjoy it. Day 26 and counting!
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I get extremely defensive when it comes to people talking down on prostitutes. I never was in that willingly, but I was taken at 17 by a sex trafficker and wasn’t able to leave for three years because his entire family profited off the situation he had going… Just because you see someone is doing sex work doesn’t mean they even chose to do so. But even if they did you don’t know their story so just mind your business. 
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