I’ve relapsed sooooo many times during my recovery. I’ve been there. But I’m glad you’re deciding to get back in that saddle.
Relapses are opportunities for me to uncover what changes are needed in my life. Search to see what led up to the relapse. Relapse usually starts well before I act out. You did mention struggling with urges to act out recently. For me, it all starts with a thought.
Don’t lose hope. Keep seeking and you’ll get to know yourself better and uncover what works for you and what doesn’t.
Today is the day I get my blood test results, which I have seen and I definitely have some issues going on, but hopefully nothing we can’t manage and move on from.
I’m pretty nervous. Still scared they will say “you’re dying” because I’m clearly irrational and think of the worst outcome.
Blah. Lol. But I’m glad to find out what if anything is going on and maybe figure out a way to get my hair to stop falling out whenever I freaking touch it! Lol
Life is good, I just feel guilty for not getting out of bed yesterday and missing my Zoom Healthcare professional meeting due to laziness/sleepiness.
I dunno what to do, part of me wants to tell myself the rest was ok because it was my 1 day off in 11, but the other part of me wishes I had got up at a reasonable time, had my energy drinks, gone to the gym, and attended that Zoom meeting. Hmm.
Well today is a new day, at work and have my homegroup later tonight which I will not miss no matter what. And yes, Kat, you Will go to the gym after work. You can do it.
Heys guys.
Checking in day 2. Felt better today. Went to the gym and had a very nice session. @KevinesKay You are right. There are early signs when I may relapse and if I am not aware of these, it leads to relapse. This relapse hit me hard as I had a good momentum. But I am ready to get back at it. Thank you very much for your support. Means a lot.
@SelfLove_42 Today was okay. I did not felt that shameful as yesterday and literally forced myself to go to the gym. I felt better after the session. I usually journal about why PMO is bad and what are the specific steps I can do when I have an urge. I will start keeping another journal writing the days I feel and overcome urges. I am starting to notice that journaling is a good way to reprograme the mind. Again thanks for the advice.
And you are nearly reaching 4 months. So congrats. Peace and love.
Hey thanks for the support. I have notice on my streak that my PMO habit went from an habitual habit to a choice I can make. So everyday, I will make the choice to quit this vice.
I know it’s easy to let your mind go to the worst but you can’t do that. I’ve had 2 scares that someone at that age shouldn’t be dealing with, and let my mind go crazy by trying to interpret results myself by googling. One was valid but just have to have random checks. The 2nd one I worked myself up based off of labs and eventhough they were high the doctor said they weren’t a high for concern and to just adjust a few things in my diet to bring those levels down.
Day 152, forgot yesterday was also five months so that feels nice to get past that milestone the five month milestone was certainly hard for me last time and did feel it again. Counting my gratitudes probably hop on the treadmill again, I’m definitely sore body saying who dis. But hope you all have good days
Thank you!!! That’s what I did. I googled my lab results and I KNEW AND KNOW I shouldn’t have, but I did. That being said, my results that are high don’t SEEM so high they are in they scary zone, but high enough changes probably need to be made.
I also have convinced myself if anything was terribly wrong, she wouldn’t have waited a week to go over results with me…right?! Lol
You’re definitely right. If it was serious they wouldn’t have you wait to come in. In fact on my results it was about the same time frame as yours. When I did go in the doctor even told me that if it was serious you would have heard from me immediately and told me to stop googling.
Day 11.
The day was okay. I’m home now having a warm meal and some cake later
Because of this damn war heating an apartment becomes a luxury. I have to wear a lot of clothes in layers to not get cold.
I think I’ll get lost on TikTok later. Or maybe read a book. Both is fine. Probably I’ll hit my bed soon (its so cozy and warm there ).
I hope you have a beautiful sober day team.
You’ve got this
Im thinking about the factoid i read that says more than half of alcoholics who stay sober 2 years, dont relapse again. I dont know if its accurate, but its a good goal.
2 years feels like both a short time and a long time.
Ten days, today being my tenth day, feels like a short time and a long time.
I wish i had done this app years ago. But i wanted to drink and get stoned.
The thought of 30 days feels like a very long time. If i make it 2 years I will turn 31 sober.
Checking in Day29
A bit of a late check in. Was up bright and early for some meditation And then went off to an early appt. Just got home and will put on some music and work on my drramcatcher. Going to relax. I am soo tired today. But that’s ok. Excited for 11pm!!!
Checking in
DAY 29
Feeling peaceful
I finished the webbing of my dreamcatcher. Now to get some sun and hit the dollarstore! Hope my TS fam is doing great!
).
And then went off to an early appt. Just got home and will put on some music and work on my drramcatcher. Going to relax. I am soo tired today. But that’s ok. Excited for 11pm!!! 
