Day 179
Alcohol free, still breathing.
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Ur incredible u know that?! Really. Proud of u and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that saying of ursā¦ tmrw will be different. Thank u for this! I will be using this 
it makes me sad about ur family situation. My family was/is quite dysfunctional. It was a great relief moving out when I did. Itās hard to be around all of them at the same time. I rather prefer to be with 1 family member at a time. Anyway, I just really feel for u and ur situation 
i wish I had some magically words to help but right now I have nothing but plz know that you ARE loved and that u ARE an incredible person 
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Congrats on 32 days.
I remember when I couldnāt break 2 weeks. So 32 days is pretty damn good. Donāt quit.
I wish you the best with your recovery.
I am proud of you.
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Thank u so much! Iām proud of 32 data for sure. Itās honestly feels like a miracle and abit scary too. Unknown territory lol way to go on ur clean time too!!! I hope to get there one day!
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Checking in. Day 83.90 AF.
Still having issues with the partner drinking. UGH. Just found another bottle of vodka hidden in the garage tonight. I knew i smelled alcohol on him. Iām about at my breaking point. He gets so mean and turns in to someone heās not, I hate it. Iām just avoiding him tonight.
Weāve had the same talk over and over and over againā¦ he wants/needs to stop and promises he will and heās sorry. He doesnāt stop. Wash, rinse, repeat.
So over it.
Have a good weekend peeps. Stay strong! 
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Huge HUGE hugs!
flowers for you!
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Congratulations on day 83 Amy.
Sorry about your partnerās drinking. I know how that goes.
Have you seen the thread I started?
Cāmon over and check it out of youāre interested. Youāre definitely not alone.
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Today we received some bad news. My son will be released from the behavioral center on Monday because insurance is denying further treatment eventhough the therapist is saying he is not ready and still very much a danger in a home setting. Heās killed multiple pets (one a full grown great dane) with his bare hands, heās drawn blood on me multiple times, and came at me with a pitchfork when my back was turned. Heās tried pushing our son in the wheelchair down the stairs, and attacked our youngest daughter. My wife was diagnosed with ptsd from what sheās gone through with him. In the past this news would have made me run for the whiskey, but I feel I can handle it this time since I cut out the other BS in my life.
Funny how his biggest issue is alcohol related (fetal alcohol syndrome, mixed with 4 other issues) and to deal in the past Iād run to the whiskey. My wife will be leaving in the morning and the other 4 will stay with me. We are still praying that insurance will change its mind so he can get the help he needs. If they donāt I feel Iām better equipped to handle it now and deal with the 24 hour rotating shifts to make sure the house is safe for the others and him.
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Congratulations on your 6 months of freedom DWM
Thatās awesome!!
Keep up the great work.
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Way to go Gary!!
Congrats on your 2 weeks.
ODAAT.
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Checking in Friday night clean and serene 8 M 3D. Grateful I have not consumed.
Just this present moment, together 
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My goodness, it sounds like he needs serious professional help. I hope he can get it for your and his own sakes.
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1015
Coffee. Weekend. The sun is out. I will be out too in a bit, on my 
, to participate in one of the few team rides I do each year. Sober and clean. No hangovers from hanging out in the bar last night because I donāt do that no more thank god.
In fact I was in town yesterday afternoon, the first true spring Friday afternoon, and the town and bar terraces were packed. I did pass my old bar. Might have stayed for a soda if I saw my friends sitting there, but only saw some the boring old drinkers sitting there drinking. Very unattractive. Cured me of a vague sense of missing out on something, seeing all these people sitting out in the sun and drinking beer.
Weāre so much better off without drinking. I remember how I used to be really drunk by 7 on a Friday night like this. And continuing to drink after I somehow made my way home drunk. God knows why, I was already pissed, what was the use of getting more drunk. None. Thatās what drinking does to us.
Have a good weekend all, or at least as good as you all can. Making it clean and sober will help you do just that. Love from Amsterdam in spring.
@Jmillwill Iām sorry Jared. Hoping somebody at the insurance company will come up with something good.
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I am sorry. Will be thinking of safety for all of you, and hoping he can continue to get the care he needs.
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Congrats on 18 days 
After some months it gets easier. And someday there is a time when you forget alcohol and you only get reminded when youāre out with friends who drink.
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Day 580 
Happy nice weekend everyone 
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Day 179 checking in Hope everyone is well
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Day 78 and I finally had my relapse dream. I was being accused of all things that I did not do and I could not prove my innocence to their satisfaction. And now that Iām saying this out loud I realize it is completely attached to things my ex-husband used to do. Wow. Just wow. The dream was full of all sorts of other anxiety things involving my daughter. But now I am up. 100% sober. Heading to work soon. Have a great day yāall
ETA: I still feel terrified tho. cPTSD is such a bitch. 
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Checking in on day 35. Iāve got big cravingsā¦ I need to get them out of my system. I need to distract myself. Damn this is hard. I canāt give in.
The weather here is beautiful and thatās enough of and excuse to drinkā¦ I canāt let it happen.
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Day 585
Decent Saturday, co-operation with the hubby for kids stuff. A confrontation with the neighbour who didnāt like my daughter pogo-ing in our garden (too noisy, apparently 
). Kids are happy as son got his own mini guitar amp 
, and daughter and friend planted flowers in pots for the garden 
.
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