Hello guys. Checking in day 6.
Hope you have a great day.
Peace.
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Pretty much. From around noon to 7pm most days.
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Yes itās normal going to have alot of foggy moments, we had those foggy moments in addiction as well but are brains were so fogged by the drugs and alcohol we didnāt even notice it. Sober you notice everythingā¦ best thing I heard was it took you ten years to walk into the woods, itās gonna take you ten years to walk out. Meaning canāt expect to be cured in 6 months bc thatās how I was I always said that to my sponsor man dick im 8 months sober why donāt I feel better or cured yet lol
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Itās the weather up here. Been feeling the same way. Go from a foot of snow to 60 and raining overnight is crazy. Best wishes for ya friend and if you need anything give a holler.
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Day 8
So after long break trying to get back to running. After last years 2 half marathons in a row I think I over-trained and that actually lead me to feeling bad and relapse after about 2-3 months of sobriety. I knew it was bad idea to continue on Virtual United Airlines NYC Half Marathon March 20-28 but I think my ego did not let me to stop and that actually was where I failed with my 12 Steps.
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I stand firm my friend, I hope you too!
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Yes thank you!! I made a lot of excuses because id only rarely get wasted
but I have no idea who i am going to be or what hindsight i am going to have 90 days, a year from now. That is terrifying but at least i know now.
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Yes! Eventually my cravings passed. Now Iām glad I made it through those rough few hours. Still sober!
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Checking In
Clean Time: 11 Days
Today was all about the present moment and self care. 
I didnāt have work today, and my daughter is with her father. This really allowed me to focus on myself mentally, physically, and spiritually. 
ā¢ I cleaned my house.
ā¢ Attended a recovery meeting at noon.
ā¢ Made a gratitude list.
ā¢ Worked out for an hour.
ā¢ Showered and actually got myself ready and feeling good.
ā¢ Meditated for 15 minutes. Not long, but I have ADHD and am working my way up. 
ā¢ In 45 minutes I will do my final recovery meeting of the day.
ā¢ Then finally tackling the laundry situation. 
After that Iām playing video games for the rest of the night. 
It really is just taking a bit of time here and there to choose something positive in that moment. At the end of the day when looking back it all adds up and emotionally you are feeling pretty good. 
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Sooo Happy for you ! We were both posting alot at the same time I found this forum and you and a few others were some of the first I interacted with. I know you were really stessed a few days ago and didnāt see your posts for a few days. I was worried something had happened. Thatās why I am sooo happy to be reading your updates today. Have an awesome āYouā night 
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Day 77 today, had a great day at the football with a mate and his kid. Was an away day too which before would of been your typical football away day session on the beer from early morning, but stayed clean and still loved the game! My first sober birthday tomorrow in 12 years so looking positive towards another day tomorrow.
Stay strong guys and girls, thereās great times without drink!
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My wife and I are going to meet up with my co-worker in about an hr so, at some pizza and brew spot. Everyoneās going to be drinking, but it doesnāt even bother me anymore. Ima have a Dr. Pepper.
Iām excited too. I donāt have to worry about driving buzzed or starting drama.
Stay strong!
Day 154
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Thank you. We actually have 3 with reactive attention disorder which is typical from orphanage kids. We actually were not approved for FAS because we purposely left that off because we knew the patience needed and the one on one attention, but the orphanage lied to us.
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Thank you. I just read this as I was checking in because itās just past 4:30 and this is when I normally be pouring myself a drink as weāre getting ready to go out for an eveningā¦ Iām finding it super hard right now. I know itās going to pass Iām going to wait till 5:00 and see how I feel and then Iām going to check in. I can make it till 5:00 right just make it till 5:00ā¦ Iāll check in again in about 20 minutes. So glad you posted I needed to see that I know I can stay strong I know I canā¦
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U and ur wife are amazing people!! Children who are hurting or who have been neglected or abused, often need that extra support. Iām not a psychologist or an expert on RAD but from what I can tell u are doing the right things. Children with RAD often have a very hard time developing meaningful relationships with their caregivers (as u may already know). And they often have trouble managing emotions and can sometimes seem anxious or fearful. But really u seem to be doing the right things. It just takes alot of patience and work to build that trust. I was taught that it is helpful for caregivers to build healthy relationships with children who suffer from RAD by setting limits, and keeping calm in tense situations as well as showing consistent love. Its tough for them BUT it is also tough on you both also. I really hope that support has been provided to u. Burn out is high for many caregivers (its no one fault it just can be hard).
It find it awful how the orphanage lied to u about the childās diagnosis. Itās unfair to u and the child as everyone needs to be on the same page to know what is needed and what supports are required for the person to be successful. I worked with an adult 8 years ago (he just turned 18 and had came to live in the halfway house I worked at). He had FAS and had been in and out of the justice system for a long time. He could be the sweetest guy you ever met, but within an instant he was very violent and abusive. Threats and physical and verbal abuse, property damage. It can be scary. You both have been thru alot and I commend you both for wanting to help change the trigectory of a personās life 
I just wish their was more support for the children ur helping and also for YOU. Has anyone provided support for you both as well? Iām sorry this is so long. Mental health has always been a passion of mine. Iāve been working in the mental health/disability field for 12 years. And I often found that there just needs to be more support all around.
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Day 18 of no self harm.
My god my family is driving me insane. Iām leaving soon. I had to listen to all of their really fucked up opinions all day. For example, there was an article about a man opening fire on a camp of homeless people. Two of my uncles said they donāt blame him and would do the same if it wouldnāt send them to jail.
Just going to push through tonight and play games until I pass out from exhaustion. I really canāt give my brain the chance to wander right now.
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Hi Kat here checking in late on Day 227.
Crashed hard today after all the early mornings of work, I feel bad cause I have my 3 youngest over (13, 12, and 8) and wasnāt really present for them. Promised them Iād be awake tomorrow and so I will, if I wake up and drink caffeine I am ok. That is kind of shitty because I know caffeine is a drug, but well I feel I need some kind of stimulant to function.
Did hit a meeting on Zoom tonight and just getting ready to sleep again. See you all in the morning, promise!
Love Kat
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Nothing hateful in trying again
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The oldest girl has made tremendous strides. She now shows empathy and remorse which is amazing because she is also intellectually delayed with an IQ in the 50ās. We just got guardianship approved for her so we can continue taking care of her; sheās now 18. The oldest boy is in a wheelchair and of all the kids he is by far the smartest but he uses his diagnosis as a crutch so he doesnāt have to do anything. He will purposely do things to make my wife mad. He will always live with us as well. Then itās the behavior kid. We moved to Colorado a year ago because they have more services, but every respite person we have found heās chased off. Like you said with the one you know; he is the sweetest kid and then a switch goes off and heās destroying stuff or attacking people. My in laws moved as well but they canāt handle him and my sister in law wonāt do anything with the kids, even the typical ones. So, itās just us. It doesnāt really bother me, but my wife wants that outside of the house time. Of course she has bore the brunt of his attacks. My father was a child psychologist and my brothers and I were a handful so I kinda saw how to handle stuff. Even tonight with her headed to pick him up I have 3 extra kids at the house from down the road. It doesnāt bother me. He may not be released Monday, but I went ahead and sent my wife; if nothing else she gets a break for a few days with no kids.
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