Sometimes I feel like this. All directions possible, still no guidance to choose which one.
I’ll have a long weekend and will decide tomorrow spontaneously.
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Checking in on day 56, I think I’m doing the white knuckle thing. How would I know that? I don’t go to aa meetings, I listen to them occasionally but don’t stay interested long. I’ve been trying to get my mental health treatment in order and some other chronic medical conditions, thats been my focus. Finding a therapist has been impossible though.
Trying to stick with a morning and night routine, eating healthy, exercise, sticking to a budget. I want to keep focusing on those things but am I missing something?
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Hi, have you thought of reading? I’m reading Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind atm and have almost finished Allen Carr. I’ve read a few others too, there’s a good list on here if you search. I’ve also been listening to podcasts, in the car and as I’m working. I love these, so informative and there’s loads to chose from.
I’m not sure what your doc is but there’ll be podcasts and books in every one.
Take care 
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I’ve read This Naked Mind and I enjoyed it, I think searching for some more reading and listening material might be just what I need, thank you.
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You’re welcome
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Hi everyone, checking in on day 6. Today was tiring at work, and I was experiencing some weird feelings/ symptoms for cc. 3 hrs, including dizziness, nausea, a bit handshaking and a bad, muddy taste in my mouth. I had an extra coffee and drank plenty of water then those went away. I consider these as some kinds of delayed withdrawal symptoms. I got very tired, just took 0.25 mg of Klonopin, and flat out. Maybe a bit reading and evening prayer, then I will sleep like a baby for sure. Blessings to you all.
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Reading this I know I am “that” friend to somebody. My friend is going through a lot at the moment, some in her control, some out and a lot in the gray ether. I’ve had terrible feelings of guilt over my relationship with her. I’ve “abandoned” her in times of need. I’ve not responded for days when she’s reached out. I hate admitting it.
But… yes, sometimes I am at my capacity and I’ve had to decide at that moment do I feel strong enough as a person/human/friend to give her the support she needs? Sometimes that answer is no. Sometimes that answer is to let me sit and think about how she needs support, and that takes time. sometimes that answer was I read her message but was too busy drinking to respond. Or sometimes that answer has been I’ve given her support, I’ve given her coaching, I’ve helped her visualize a new perspective and she still chose another path. (Which is her right as an individual person). I’m not claiming any of these to be related to you and your relationship with your friend. some people are bad communicators, some don’t know how to help or support or listen, some are busy…. But sounds like she does care, in her own style.
Maybe you could talk with her. Everyone has their own ways of supporting and communicating.
But you also now have this community to check in, uplift you when needed 
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It is interesting to see it to from her point of view. Of course I will never know what is truly going on. She only shows me what she shows me. She does open up to me for certain things and she does have some mental health stuff going on also. I appreciate u stating sort of the other person’s point of view. For example, this part about how she may not know how to help or even feel strong enough herself to help. I can even relate to that myself for on here. Some posts just take alot more out of me than others by providing suggestions or sharing experiences. Not bcuz of the other person, but bciz recovery can be draining Some days and I literally have no energy to type Some nights. My friend is also the woman who I compare myself to and at times have in the past been jealous of. Just of her relationship with her hubby (how supportive they are of each other and do things together etc), or her fitness (she’s a competitive body builder), or with her career choices etc. She obviously worked hard to get where she is at. My life is diff from hers. And that’s ok! I guess it comes down to self acceptance. I know she’s very busy. She tells me rarely has time for self care. And she tends to have the habit of feeling bad and holding onto that feeling, when she has done something “wrong”. I don’t want to add to her stress or make her feel even more overwhelmed in that she has to tend to me too. Like she’s a friend, not my counsellor lol. Just like my hubby, he isn’t my counsellor either. It’s find to chat about stuff but to put them in that role, is not their job.
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Ouch! They hurt so much, I feel for you. How did it perforate? Hope you’re resting plenty
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Day 16
Covid finally got me. Feel like crap. But glad I’m sober.
Yesterday my little boy (5 yrs old) felt from the stairs, up side down. He had a big lump on his head and a smaller one on the side. And off course I was terrified. But he is ok, didn’t break anything and no concussion. It happened at the end of the afternoon, and normally I finished a couple of glasses by then. I would feel so so bad if this would happen while I was drinking. But I didn’t. I could console him with all my attention until he calmed down. Being sober makes all the difference!
Wishing you all 
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Day 10. Late checkin. Good evening!
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Take care! How did it happen?
Edit. Never mind. Scrolled down and got my answer!
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Hope you’re feeling better. I should get out and plant soon too. It really is therapeutic.
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I’m sorry that happened to your son! I’m so glad you could be there for him, sober!
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Thank you for showing us how it’s done Scott @Thirdmonkey. Congratulations !!
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Yes, absolutely we do, lets enjoy it while it’s here 
Take care
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Nice work! My next meet is in September. I’m down two weight classes, and am trying to figure out my leverages. lol. how much can this tiny body pull? Do you compete? Congratulations on your accomplishment!
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Isnt it great when we do the adulting thing?
Love your post.
Keep up the good work.
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Had to take a day off of work to have a follow-up appointment with the doctor. Okay by me since the dust in the warehouse is messing with my lungs and my Carpal-tunnel has me waking up with no feeling in my right hand.
Good news is, the Epsclusa treatment for my HepC was successful. I’m hep-free! And no sign of impending diabetes. Bad news? Beginning stages of COPD. 
This is bad.
I didn’t have much planned for old age. It’s unlikely I’ll ever get married, and having children ain’t gonna happen, but I thought I’d be able to have some adventures. I can’t hike the AT or even Tahoe when I can barely make it to the bus stop.
So I guess I’ll just be sitting in my rocking chair with my Werther’s Originals, and my cat watching reruns of “Gunsmoke” in a dimly-lit room that smells vaguely like a hardware store. 
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Have faith u can still have adventures in ur own way. Maybe hiking is out, but discover other things! Early copd is better than late copd, Listen to ur dr and get managing that disease!
I am no dismissing ur feelings and fears by the way. They are valid and worth feeling, but also gotta problem solve. 
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