I know… I’m just running out of worthwhile things within my ability level. More to the point, I’m simply just running out of “ability level”. I really understand what people mean when they say you’ll mostly regret the things you didn’t do.
I had no idea I’d look back on so much nothing.
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Checking in
Day37
Day ended up being quite nice. Was really down in the dumps earlier. Turned it all over to God. Prayed and gave thanks, did my gratitude list, slowed down and was conscious of how I was speaking/behaving to others. Now it’s just time to unwind. Hope everyone has been doing well!
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Checking in, day 184
I want to thank everyone who wished me well for my 6 months from the bottom of my heart.
I would like to spend as much time on here as I
normally do but if I lose focus or stop doing something that fully occupies my mind, I quickly start drifting into dark waters.
So I’ve just been staying focused on all my legal stuff and keeping my mind from going idle. Everything is happening fast so I hope it’s all over sooner than later and everything can go back to normal.
Thank you again to everyone
I hope you all are doing well.
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Day 22 of no self harm.
The wind hasn’t stopped and is only getting worse. It got to 70mph today. The wind howling has totally destroyed any sledp I’ve gotten and the wind has also given me horrible allergies and migraines the last few days. I had just a headache rather than a migraine today.
My nightmares last night were the worst I’ve ever had. I don’t know how they keep getting worse. To summarize, I dreamt that the whole Russia/Ukraine war got to the US and since my little sister was too young to be enlisted, she was shot in the head right in front of me. And then to top it off I woke up hysterical, so I tried to call a friend. Except I didn’t actually wake up I was still dreaming. It always takes me a few dream wake ups before I wake up irl. Leaves me really confused.
Anyway, I got my school done today. It was last minute, but it went better than I expected. Got a shower in as well. I’m planning on heading to bed soon. I hope you all are sober and well
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Day 96 in my soberhouse. Suchhhh a intense tough 12 step program . I kno my addiction is wanting me to say enough with the program and leave and make me vulnerable . This is longest time I’ve ever had since 17 off heroin I’m 31 my gawdddd I want this so bad . I cry I laugh I get angry I get depressed and I ride the Rollercoaster. I pray I get this . Stay up everyone
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FIFTY days! Yeah.
It’s a process, but it’s feeling amazing. Finding my God again, and dealing with all my crap is the BEST.
Keep keeping on everybody.
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I had a dream where I was drinking again. I woke up in a panic thinking it actually happened.
I am getting the ads too, I guess we just have to let them play out 
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Great job Cherry_Kisses.
Congratulations on your 50 days of freedom.
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Good night all from Vancouver, Checking in clean and sober and 1 week freedom from finger picking! Love to all, Owen
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Woooooo!!!
Nice job that’s a heavy number of consecutive days you have there. Step work is changing my life, you are right its hard… damn hard. Nothing good comes easy my friend. I’m really happy for you. 
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@liv_m dear friend. I am so glad that you’re still here. I just want to remind you how important and beloved you are. Thank you for being here and I know now is not easy but you are always blessed and beloved.
Day 9 here
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Never too late to check in!
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1020
Coffee. Therapy day. Going to make it 
day too. Which, BTW, is therapy for me as well. It’s going to be the warmest March 24 ever I think. We’re dancing on the volcano but that’s what live is.
Using would not make anything any better. Using would just make everything much much worse. So just for today I’ll stay sober and clean and be aware and mindful of what’s happening, inside and outside of me. Like I hope you all do.
Life’s not easy, sober or not, but sober and clean it is much much better. I know. I’ve done both. Not sober I wanted to end my life right there right then. Now I’m glad I’m alive and happy with spring; despite all my shit and everybody’s else’s. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober. It helps. Love from Amsterdam.
@roses4me There’s only one thing I miss in your program and that’s togetherness. I can’t do it alone and I think that goes for us all. I and we need our sober peers to make this sober stuff work. I found mine here but you can find yours anywhere. Big congrats anyway friend. You already made it a long way.
@Cherry_Kisses Gefeliciteerd met vijftig dagen dame! Goed werk!
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Day 184 checking in
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Day 77 AF.
Sooooo Excited… I bought myself a new push-bike today. On Saturday I am taking it into The City to ride around all the beautiful places Melbourne has to offer.
I NEVER THOUGHT AT AGE 50 I WOULD BE DOING THKNGS LIKE THIS.
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@Butterflymoonwoman I’m in a similar situation with my best friend, she lets weeks, sometimes a month go by without contacting me even if she knows that I’m having a really difficult time. She says if I don’t reach out, she decodes it as if I need distance and time and she accepts that. It doesn’t even occur to her, that I may be depressed or may need help. She just doesn’t feel the need to know how I am I guess because otherwise she would contact me and that’s really sad. She doesn’t realize how one-sided our relationship is. I talked to her about it a few times and it helped understanding her side, yet I still don’t think that’s how it should work between friends. She says, there’s not a day goes by without her thinking of me, but it does not equal being there for me. She says, I can always call her even in the middle of the night if I have a problem, but that’s how suicide hotline works, not a friendship. She has attachment problems and is really passive in these situations. It applies to all of her relationships, so that’s how she is. It’s hard to accept that she loves me and cares about me because her acts tell me the opposite, it’s hard not to take it personally. Especially because I’m not good at relationships either. It’s hard not to abandon her. So I don’t really have any solution. In the last few years I learnt that if I fell into distress, she wouldn’t be there for me unless I directly asked her to. That is something that keeps me away from her. I gave up my expectations but also gave up the idea of not being totally alone despite having a friend. I’m just distanced myself, not really reaching out to her and it feels unhealthy but good at the moment.
I think talking to your friend is a good idea. It’s always good to speak up and let them know how you feel.
Your feelings are valid, if it’s a problem for you, you deserve (owe yourself) the chance to clarify it and make it better for yourself. If she feels sorry and bad about it, that will be another situation and you will handle that in its own time. The outcome doesn’t change the validity of your feelings right now.
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Another Thursday I am thankful to see. My favourite day of the week.
Have been more busy since I started back work so that with the raising of my 3 children and starting my Yoga business…breathe all is well…doing the best I can and remaing strong. Been allowing myself extra time in the am to just be…inside getting right at it. Will catch up.on posts this weekend. Glad we all are checking in and trudging along.
Yesterday I was in a group and the topic was habits that’s keep us stuck…we were talking about procrastination and the facilitator noted that sometimes we procrastinate out of fear…or perfectionism…as we want everything perfect so we keep on putting goals off…This is me…so doing something different I will be posting next week to end off March Yoga mix up with 4 of my own videos…
thank you @liv_m 
and thank you @siand and @Misokatsu for you encouragement
Strong Serne 24 all
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Checking in day 4.
I made it through my hardest moment last night. The time between work ending and putting my son to bed. That has always been my time to start drinking. Plus the stressors of my husband that I’m trying to divorce coming home from work (I work from home) and I just seethe with distain towards him, so drinking has always been my escape.
I felt it hard last night. Instead I cooked dinner, actually ate dinner. Used to be a liquid dinner for me and really tried to focus on playing with my son. It was really really hard…. But I did it.
Had more dreams about drinking. Being out with coworkers and being at a bar at 8:30am?
But today is going to be a good day. Im getting my first backyard chickens!
Happy sober and healthy day 
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Day 590
Still irritated. I don’t know if it is some kind of regression triggered by the move to junior high school in a few weeks but my son is being extra silly lately and it is getting on my nerves. Husband is also being annoying about money, telling me to be sure to eat lunch at home, or noticing a new bottle of perfume and going to the effort to peel off the shop label to check the price. To eat lunch out with the kids, or the perfume is like 10 or 15 dollars. When I was drinking that was one session. And it isn’t spring vacation or I don’t buy perfume every week.
Little things, glad to vent about them.
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Omg. YES YOU DID! I can completely empathize with all of this. You maintained focus and eye on the prize. Really nice work Ally! Do you have alcohol in the house?
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