Day 16
Covid finally got me. Feel like crap. But glad I’m sober.
Yesterday my little boy (5 yrs old) felt from the stairs, up side down. He had a big lump on his head and a smaller one on the side. And off course I was terrified. But he is ok, didn’t break anything and no concussion. It happened at the end of the afternoon, and normally I finished a couple of glasses by then. I would feel so so bad if this would happen while I was drinking. But I didn’t. I could console him with all my attention until he calmed down. Being sober makes all the difference!
Nice work! My next meet is in September. I’m down two weight classes, and am trying to figure out my leverages. lol. how much can this tiny body pull? Do you compete? Congratulations on your accomplishment!
Had to take a day off of work to have a follow-up appointment with the doctor. Okay by me since the dust in the warehouse is messing with my lungs and my Carpal-tunnel has me waking up with no feeling in my right hand.
Good news is, the Epsclusa treatment for my HepC was successful. I’m hep-free! And no sign of impending diabetes. Bad news? Beginning stages of COPD. This is bad.
I didn’t have much planned for old age. It’s unlikely I’ll ever get married, and having children ain’t gonna happen, but I thought I’d be able to have some adventures. I can’t hike the AT or even Tahoe when I can barely make it to the bus stop.
So I guess I’ll just be sitting in my rocking chair with my Werther’s Originals, and my cat watching reruns of “Gunsmoke” in a dimly-lit room that smells vaguely like a hardware store.
Have faith u can still have adventures in ur own way. Maybe hiking is out, but discover other things! Early copd is better than late copd, Listen to ur dr and get managing that disease!
I am no dismissing ur feelings and fears by the way. They are valid and worth feeling, but also gotta problem solve.
I know… I’m just running out of worthwhile things within my ability level. More to the point, I’m simply just running out of “ability level”. I really understand what people mean when they say you’ll mostly regret the things you didn’t do.
I had no idea I’d look back on so much nothing.
Checking in Day37
Day ended up being quite nice. Was really down in the dumps earlier. Turned it all over to God. Prayed and gave thanks, did my gratitude list, slowed down and was conscious of how I was speaking/behaving to others. Now it’s just time to unwind. Hope everyone has been doing well!
I want to thank everyone who wished me well for my 6 months from the bottom of my heart.
I would like to spend as much time on here as I
normally do but if I lose focus or stop doing something that fully occupies my mind, I quickly start drifting into dark waters.
So I’ve just been staying focused on all my legal stuff and keeping my mind from going idle. Everything is happening fast so I hope it’s all over sooner than later and everything can go back to normal.
Thank you again to everyone
I hope you all are doing well.
The wind hasn’t stopped and is only getting worse. It got to 70mph today. The wind howling has totally destroyed any sledp I’ve gotten and the wind has also given me horrible allergies and migraines the last few days. I had just a headache rather than a migraine today.
My nightmares last night were the worst I’ve ever had. I don’t know how they keep getting worse. To summarize, I dreamt that the whole Russia/Ukraine war got to the US and since my little sister was too young to be enlisted, she was shot in the head right in front of me. And then to top it off I woke up hysterical, so I tried to call a friend. Except I didn’t actually wake up I was still dreaming. It always takes me a few dream wake ups before I wake up irl. Leaves me really confused.
Anyway, I got my school done today. It was last minute, but it went better than I expected. Got a shower in as well. I’m planning on heading to bed soon. I hope you all are sober and well
Day 96 in my soberhouse. Suchhhh a intense tough 12 step program . I kno my addiction is wanting me to say enough with the program and leave and make me vulnerable . This is longest time I’ve ever had since 17 off heroin I’m 31 my gawdddd I want this so bad . I cry I laugh I get angry I get depressed and I ride the Rollercoaster. I pray I get this . Stay up everyone
I had a dream where I was drinking again. I woke up in a panic thinking it actually happened.
I am getting the ads too, I guess we just have to let them play out
This is bad.
