Good night all from Vancouver, Checking in clean and sober and 1 week freedom from finger picking! Love to all, Owen
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Woooooo!!!
Nice job thatās a heavy number of consecutive days you have there. Step work is changing my life, you are right its hardā¦ damn hard. Nothing good comes easy my friend. Iām really happy for you. 
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@liv_m dear friend. I am so glad that youāre still here. I just want to remind you how important and beloved you are. Thank you for being here and I know now is not easy but you are always blessed and beloved.
Day 9 here
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Never too late to check in!
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1020
Coffee. Therapy day. Going to make it 
day too. Which, BTW, is therapy for me as well. Itās going to be the warmest March 24 ever I think. Weāre dancing on the volcano but thatās what live is.
Using would not make anything any better. Using would just make everything much much worse. So just for today Iāll stay sober and clean and be aware and mindful of whatās happening, inside and outside of me. Like I hope you all do.
Lifeās not easy, sober or not, but sober and clean it is much much better. I know. Iāve done both. Not sober I wanted to end my life right there right then. Now Iām glad Iām alive and happy with spring; despite all my shit and everybodyās elseās. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober. It helps. Love from Amsterdam.
@roses4me Thereās only one thing I miss in your program and thatās togetherness. I canāt do it alone and I think that goes for us all. I and we need our sober peers to make this sober stuff work. I found mine here but you can find yours anywhere. Big congrats anyway friend. You already made it a long way.
@Cherry_Kisses Gefeliciteerd met vijftig dagen dame! Goed werk!
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Day 184 checking in
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Day 77 AF.
Sooooo Excitedā¦ I bought myself a new push-bike today. On Saturday I am taking it into The City to ride around all the beautiful places Melbourne has to offer.
I NEVER THOUGHT AT AGE 50 I WOULD BE DOING THKNGS LIKE THIS.
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@Butterflymoonwoman Iām in a similar situation with my best friend, she lets weeks, sometimes a month go by without contacting me even if she knows that Iām having a really difficult time. She says if I donāt reach out, she decodes it as if I need distance and time and she accepts that. It doesnāt even occur to her, that I may be depressed or may need help. She just doesnāt feel the need to know how I am I guess because otherwise she would contact me and thatās really sad. She doesnāt realize how one-sided our relationship is. I talked to her about it a few times and it helped understanding her side, yet I still donāt think thatās how it should work between friends. She says, thereās not a day goes by without her thinking of me, but it does not equal being there for me. She says, I can always call her even in the middle of the night if I have a problem, but thatās how suicide hotline works, not a friendship. She has attachment problems and is really passive in these situations. It applies to all of her relationships, so thatās how she is. Itās hard to accept that she loves me and cares about me because her acts tell me the opposite, itās hard not to take it personally. Especially because Iām not good at relationships either. Itās hard not to abandon her. So I donāt really have any solution. In the last few years I learnt that if I fell into distress, she wouldnāt be there for me unless I directly asked her to. That is something that keeps me away from her. I gave up my expectations but also gave up the idea of not being totally alone despite having a friend. Iām just distanced myself, not really reaching out to her and it feels unhealthy but good at the moment.
I think talking to your friend is a good idea. Itās always good to speak up and let them know how you feel.
Your feelings are valid, if itās a problem for you, you deserve (owe yourself) the chance to clarify it and make it better for yourself. If she feels sorry and bad about it, that will be another situation and you will handle that in its own time. The outcome doesnāt change the validity of your feelings right now.
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Another Thursday I am thankful to see. My favourite day of the week.
Have been more busy since I started back work so that with the raising of my 3 children and starting my Yoga businessā¦breathe all is wellā¦doing the best I can and remaing strong. Been allowing myself extra time in the am to just beā¦inside getting right at it. Will catch up.on posts this weekend. Glad we all are checking in and trudging along.
Yesterday I was in a group and the topic was habits thatās keep us stuckā¦we were talking about procrastination and the facilitator noted that sometimes we procrastinate out of fearā¦or perfectionismā¦as we want everything perfect so we keep on putting goals offā¦This is meā¦so doing something different I will be posting next week to end off March Yoga mix up with 4 of my own videosā¦
thank you @liv_m 
and thank you @siand and @Misokatsu for you encouragement
Strong Serne 24 all
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Checking in day 4.
I made it through my hardest moment last night. The time between work ending and putting my son to bed. That has always been my time to start drinking. Plus the stressors of my husband that Iām trying to divorce coming home from work (I work from home) and I just seethe with distain towards him, so drinking has always been my escape.
I felt it hard last night. Instead I cooked dinner, actually ate dinner. Used to be a liquid dinner for me and really tried to focus on playing with my son. It was really really hardā¦. But I did it.
Had more dreams about drinking. Being out with coworkers and being at a bar at 8:30am?
But today is going to be a good day. Im getting my first backyard chickens!
Happy sober and healthy day 
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Day 590
Still irritated. I donāt know if it is some kind of regression triggered by the move to junior high school in a few weeks but my son is being extra silly lately and it is getting on my nerves. Husband is also being annoying about money, telling me to be sure to eat lunch at home, or noticing a new bottle of perfume and going to the effort to peel off the shop label to check the price. To eat lunch out with the kids, or the perfume is like 10 or 15 dollars. When I was drinking that was one session. And it isnāt spring vacation or I donāt buy perfume every week.
Little things, glad to vent about them.
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Omg. YES YOU DID! I can completely empathize with all of this. You maintained focus and eye on the prize. Really nice work Ally! Do you have alcohol in the house?
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Hey all, checking in on day 648. I hope everybody has a good one today!
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Good morning all! Feeling better now. Went to bed early and woke up before the alarm. Shouldāve done some meditation like I keep telling myself Iām going to, made a pot of coffee and breakfast instead. Good to get ready for work without feeling rushed. Still have numbness and tingling in my right hand but I can make it through work. Having more frequent urges to drink lately but Iām hanging in there. 
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I do. I gave some of it away and have to get rid of the rest. Itās trickyā¦. Iām going through a divorce from a narcissist that is turning nasty. If I make any blatant declarations in front of him he will use any and everything to gaslight and manipulate me. So at home itās a quiet shift into not drinking. Iāve made the declaration about not drinking and heās gaslighted me and made me feel worse about it. So this time itās for meā¦. Not to prove it to himā¦. But also I donāt need him in the way and messing up my sobriety. Does that make any sense? Not sure if Iām just rambling here 
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Checking in
Day38
Hope everyone is well 
Itās 6am right now and Iāve been up for an hour already. Iām just doing 1 quick checkin this morning and wonāt be on until after 6pm. I am halfway into my 1 day Spiritual fast. And Iām not only fasting from food (I do still drink water), but also from TV, Music, and social media. But I do believe that I shpuod keep on checking in at least once here. Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
@Tomek thank u so much for ur response. I will get back to u after 6pm when I have more time. But I do really appreciate what u said
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Sometimes making a nice pot of coffee can be meditative. Anything can be that youāre mindful in your intentions with. So glad youāre feeling better!!!
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Dankie Meneer u is baie gaaf. Ek waardeer dit baie. Geniet jou warm dag 
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Day 161. Went to try and get reimbursed for my daughterās meds bc of how expensive they were and now that she is covered on Medicaid the lady told me to do that. Of course Kinneyās said no, while I was there I saw someone who always acted like she was my friend, she looked right at me saw it was me I was getting ready to say hi then she hurried and looked away to act like she didnāt notice me. Felt nice to get that machine shipped out the guy who was looking to upgrade. Rough evening with my girls yesterday, also a rough morning tried not to react and keep saying my gratitudes. Much love
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Iāve been on about a three week period of this irritability. Been doing what I can, therapy, exercise, burying myself in studying but canāt break out if it as of yet! Iām betting one on the spring envy and I am just being the alcoholic I am an am being impatient for the warm weather and fishing. Hope everything straighten out for you as well. Money has been an issue for me as well as Iāve had to put my career on hold and possibly May be done with this upcoming surgery. So I am living off my pension only. But I have a backup plan so just have to stick to that which a harder route but will be worth it. Take care and best wishes!
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