Morning everyone. Checking in on day 216. Still another irritable morning. I am trying to figure out what has changed. I used to love my serene morning before even the dogs are up so I can prepare for my day but I’ve lost all motivation to complete my routine as best as I can. Basically going through the motions and I know it’s wrong but can’t find the push to change it. My home group even created another zoom meeting and step study group with less people due to the high number of complaints and I can’t bring myself to go back to it after the experiences I’ve had. But more research and digging today. Hope everyone has a wonderful day and take care!!
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Hi it’s Kat day 232 today, checking in clean and sober!
Did a Zoom meeting last night and there’s an in-person tonight, it is so awesome that restrictions have been lifted and we can go maskless, hug, and circle up at the end. Didn’t realize how much I missed that stuff. Must call my sponsor though, rule is once a week.
Other than that just working away and loving it.
Hope you all have a great day!
Kat
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Good morning, afternoon, or evening…
Day 126,
Just checking in. Hope everyone has a great day today!
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Thank you, you’re right that togetherness is missing. I found it here a little, but I don’t know that its enough. I don’t have family and not many friends so it’s hard. I’m going to keep trying, I’m glad you pointed it out, needed that.
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Checking in on sobriety day 320. Getting an awesome chest and tri lift this morning while my second oldest son is at track and heading to softball practice with my daughter this evening. My oldest son has taken an interest in lifting weights. It would seem him seeing my 30 lbs of fat loss and pretty awesome strength gains has given him something to emulate. This is certainly better than him following in my drinking steps that certainly would have come if I had continued down the path of insanity to death. Have a great day everyone. It’s a great day to be above ground and sober.
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That is so awesome! Setting a great example for your kids, nice job!
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That’s awesome that you planted that seed in your sons head. What a better hobby to get into than lifting and nutrition! Good to hear everything is going good and take care!
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I love this
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That sounds like it took sooooo much strength. I can relate to your situation to some degree and I bet you feel amazing making it through without a drink!! Congratulations and have a super day❤️
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Sorry you’re feeling irritated. I hope you can find a moment of peace for yourself.
I’m not trying to make light of your situation at all but I have to say I was smiling slightly when you were talking about your son because I know that feeling all too well. Love my daughter so much but sometimes I look forward to the day that she moves out (no not really but sort of 
)
I’ve also been through a similar thing with my husband and it really drives me nuts when he gets picky about money and you’re right, when you think about all the money you’re saving by not drinking!
Have you talked to him about that at all?
You should be able to enjoy lunch out or buy yourself something reasonable.
Thanks for sharing❤️
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I’m really glad you’re feeling better!
So obviously I don’t know your entire situation but I just wanted to let you know that I know quite a few people with COPD that are managing really well.
COPD is an umbrella term for a few different conditions so depending on which one you have and how it is managed, you may still be able to some of the adventures that you’re wishing to.
It is really good that they caught in the beginning stages!! (I’m not an expert by any means, but I have done many courses on these conditions as it is part of my training for work)
Also with the carpal tunnel, my mom was diagnosed with that a while back and they suggested surgery but she went to physio and did a lot of postural exercises and it turned out to be more of a pinched nerve which she was able to correct with exercise. I know it can be quite painful. Even if it is carpal tunnel syndrome though there are ways to manage it so I’m wishing you the very best and I hope that you are in less pain today and are able to find some help with ways to manage these conditions. I’m not trying to disregard your pain in any way, I just want you to know that there is hope for some of these conditions so I’m trying to send positive vibes your way 
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Day 650 clean and sober today. Super sore from starting to go to the gym again after a long break. I hope everyone has a fantastic day today, I love you guys!!! 
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Checking in on day 20 
Still sober and going strong.
Today I had an appointment with my boss to ask for a raise. Looks like I get it, but I’ll have to wait some months until they tell me.
I finally did it 
I was so afraid of that. I, again, grew a little bigger today
I’m demanding my power back, one step at a time.
Have a beautiful sober day team
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Hey guys. Checking in day 11…
Feeling really tired today.
Hope you guys have great day.
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Hey. I don’t compete but I intend to reach 2.5 times my bodyweight for squats and deadlift then try a switch to olympic lifting.I weight around 74kg. I am currently studying a strength and conditioning course, so I want to try exercises related to power and strength.
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Shit this site grows massively if you don’t check in daily ! Impossible to follow it all up I’m afraid.
Haven’t checked in for a while. Busy days.
Life is unusual on board at the moment. With 5 Ukranians on board it’s hard to understand why we say it’s not our war… but let’s forget about politics.
I’m grateful most of our Ukranian crew got their families to safety in Germany. One of ‘m however still has his family in a shelter of one the besieged cities. What worsened the situation recently was the message of an ex-collegue of us who lived in Mariupol. His sister got shot by a tank. How sick is one’s mind, if you shoot a civilian pedestrain with a friggin’ tank…
But that enough about that shit. Two years ago I wanted more compassion in my life and apparently, I got it. It’s just heart breaking to see them worry and not being able to change a thing.
As per April 1st I’m starting a course in peer support. Next level of my own recovery, but also a chance to turn 45 years of shit into something productive.
Learning to live with my autism without getting drawn under by selfstigma’s or public stigma’s, and learning more every single day about how my addicitions have run through my life. And, to be honest, they still do. Not using anything, not even thinking about it, but slowly I’m starting to understand what “relationship addiction” and “codependcy” mean when I look back at my own history.
It would be funny in a way, if it wasn’t that sad that in my own struggles I dragged others along with me. Not understanding anything about the difference between attracktion and intimacy, I always have fled into a relation with the first woman that said didn’t reject me. Self esteem can be a bitch. But well, as Jim Morrisson sang : people are strange when you’re a stranger.
I also signed up for a photography group in my hometown. Haven’t photographed for decades, but I think it’ll be a good hobby for me again. To my own surprise a couple of weeks ago I went for a long walk at the sea and actually I do that because it’s healthy and because I like to be outside in the nature.
But to my own surprise all of a sudden I noted silvery spider webs for miles and miles stretched, with millions of juvenile baby spiders in it. Beautiful. But I had been walking for miles allready before I even noticed. So much for mindfulness, I had just been walking processing my own thoughts… and I realised that when having a camera with you, you are far more in contact with the surroundings, actually looking for views like that…
So all in all I’m doing good I believe. Actually, so far I’m proud of myself. Dragged myself through an amount of stress most people would get stressed out by, but managed doing it sober and without becoming my own worst autistic version I became almost three years ago now (what caused me to get sober and work on myself, so even that was something positive actually).
Enough for today.
Best of luck to all and to all newcomers : welcome, and good luck ! Believe me when I say it’s all worth it 
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Day 13
Beautiful morning at forest (at work in photo . Smoked about 5 cigs. I know i know not the best of me…
Back home, today gonna do some workout. Watch movie with Girlfriend. Then pack food. Going to sleep earlier now, not really used to it, but yesterday I knocked out at about 22:00. Not feeling that tired today.
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Checking In
Clean Time: 16 Days
I am actually having a good day. I just feel at peace with myself today. I cleaned out a drawer with drug paraphernalia with my recovery coach today. I’ve been avoiding that drawer for so long because of how triggering it was and because I knew I would find some stuff in it. It feels good to not have to worry about it anymore. 
I am pretty proud of myself for accomplishing that today.
I also showed up to work today. I have been very consistent with that, as well as working diligently. One of my goals is to become reliable at my work place. I don’t want to be the flakey person who calls out or doesn’t work when I am here. That has been much easier since I has been clean. 
I also decided to shift my mindset. Due to my previous behavior and attendance my hours were cut. I will appreciate this time with less hours instead of being upset about it. 
I have more time to heal, more time to grow, more time to spend with my daughter. 
Tomorrow will be a day that I focus on her and my dog.
Dog will be bathed, nails clipped, ears cleaned, teeth brushed. My daughter will have a full day of cuddles and games with her mom before she goes off to her father on Saturday. Then Saturday will be my me day. 
These are all things I would never plan or accomplish when I was using.
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Hello Everyone, I have just reached 1 week sobriety. Very happy but tired now. Love to you all.
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