@Misokatsu Fleur, I have hired an ADD coach for him and she is recommending that I have the school assess him for learning differences beyond ADD. Also hiring a therapist since he has no excitement about anything and no aspirations of college, no real interests beyond his computer and D&D group etc. He will be starting high school next Fall and I want to get on top of things!! 
I just had the huge expense of my car, and now a therapist as a single mom. That part isnāt easy either, the financial stress.
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Day 4
Feeling incredibly tired today but guess thatās just my body wondering what the hell is going on. Buckets of coffee and morning cuddles with the pooch before work 
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Hi, great job for hitting 10 days.
Sounds like a fun few days coming up, hope you and your daughter have a great time 
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- Not feeling soo good. Waiting at the GP to get an official test. Tested positive this morning. Hoped it was caffeine withdrawals.
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Day 476.
Man I enjoyed my day off but these guys donāt mess around. Iām making up for it now. Problem with me taking time off isā¦ No one covers for me. The work just stacks up. Gonna be a solid 18 hour day by the time I go home. And I already need a nap. 5 hours to go. Hope everyone one is having a good week.
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Day 238.
Just wake up. Finally slept for a long time because in my country itās ākingās dayā which means itās the king birthday of my country and most people are free. Not in my work area what the disabled care is but I donāt have to work. The whole country goes out to go to all the parties and events which I absolutely donāt do that would probably trigger me. Instead Iām going to repot flowers really, who would have thought that after such a rebellious life I led for so longš¤£ But the weather is nice and there are still few flowers on my balcony. And at the supermarket you could save for various flower seeds in a jar with a little sand. I already have a lot of them and they have started to grow so Iām going to give them a bigger flower pot. Listen to me so civil haha āāunimaginableā¦so thatās going to be my dayā¦it sounds boring but I kind of like it and Iām like everything better than what I did before to fill my time!
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1054
Coffee. Last night and today are the biggest parties of the year here with Kingās Night and Kingās Day to celebrate the Kingās Birthday. Since there werenāt any festivities in the past two years due to 'rona last night was already big and today is going to be huge. Typically people try to sell junk in the streets, children do little plays or play music, the town is filled with stages where band plays, and everybody drinks.
Although Iād prefer to live in a Republic I was never one to pass on a party so in the past Iād spent my night and day in the streets in town somewhere with my best friend. This years stuff is different. Itās my first sober one. And I broke up with my bestie.
Iām working late shifts which is OK but in the past I would have found time to go out in between. Now I just totally donāt feel it. Life is a total rollercoaster at the moment. Getting a new job in addiction care, finishing therapy group tomorrow, looking for a new education, at the same time breaking up with my best friend for 30 years.
Itās all a bit much. Thank god I know drinking wouldnāt help. Totally the opposite. I understand the feeling to want to numb and make it go away but please donāt give in @emi. You can handle this but you need your wits about you. Letās remain sober and clean. Together. Just for today. Love from Amsterdam. Pic is from a couple of years ago.
@Annedizzle Belated congrats Anne! Hope you had a good one. Looks like it.
@LaDyLooNtje I do have to work today but thatās OK. Enjoy your re-potting business.
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Day 218 checking in 
Have a good day everyone
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This canāt be easy. I hope youāre fairing well.
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I would ! 
That might be because despite my anarchopunk past, nowadays my house is filled with white, pink and purple flowers 
Exactly ! Good luck with the flowers 
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That sucks friend. Get better soon.
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Thank you!
Your situation with your bestie sucks more. I hope you can find some peace with it if it is not reconcilable.
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@Mno Broke up whit your bestie should be hard but if heās part of your past it probably was a wise choice. And to work today might even be nice then you donāt have to see so much of all those parties since you live in Amsterdam. And today you get paid more to work. Fijne dag, werkze en sterkte met alle dingen die je moet doen maar het gaat je lukken. Je bent sterk!
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Well, happy birthday to my fat-faced, and otherwordly king.
I hope someone gives him a nice big box of compassion for our people, so this year he will be a little more part of them instead of all the epic fails last year caused by his complete alienation from real life.
Butā¦ no politics 
Of course the towns are filled with āorange marketsā. Orange as in the colour, since thatās our royal families last name. Not as in the fruit.
What means, lots of little kids trying to sell their parents crap and to be honest, I like it.
So Iāll probably end up coming home with crap I really wouldnāt know what to do with except to throw it away.
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Sorry to hear that Menno, but itās probably for the best given how long the two of you allready had issues.
Closing a chapter starts a new one though
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@Fargesia Haha also a flower lover. When my balcony is summer proof I will send you a photo with lots of flowers. At least if I can still repot flowers and give them love. We will see that in a momentš¤£
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Day 15 
so far so good no cravings
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My ālove for flowersā is unfortunately limited by my repeatedly being away from home.
So inside, they are all silk and plastic, but it still looks nice (in my opinion).
Outside I got 6 boxes that need to stay below the border-buxus because of the sometimes strong winds. They also get a lot of sun and they wonāt be watered when Iām away, so thatās hard as wellā¦
Yesterday put Thym in them, hoping itāll get to be the green and pink carpet it should be !
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2:22 am on Day 43
I ended up chugging two sodas to sate the fizzy/sugar craving and made my fav comfort food - Grandmas red sauce over pasta and pork chops. I def spent a few hours crying. But I wasnāt drunk crying. Gonna watch some more guilty pleasure tv and stay up late. (Yay for cooking competitions, and true crime on ID!) Iām so glad my bf has the day off tomorrow so we can go apartment hunting. I also have therapy and then Thursday is my next Vivitrol shot. Gonna stay committed, itās tempting to have a drink now inbetween but I donāt wanna throw away all these days. I realized just how long 43 days is! Thank you again, I did it!
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