Yeah absolutely, that moderation thought is such bs.
I’ve spent so much time and energy on that I can moderate path only to find myself broken and stuck deep in addiction. Also- sitting of the fence just leaves you constantly thinking about the possibility of the next drink.
I know I can’t moderate, alcohol is super addictive and a waste of energy.
We deserve more than what alcohol promises 
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Heyyyy I made it 30 days.
I don’t plan on turning back, I’ve slipped up way too many times. I’m done wasting my life drinking and ruining my mental and physical health.
Thanks for being here with me. Have a great day/night
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Welcome back Micheal, learning how to deal with life on lifes terms without escaping our feelings take practice. It took me making “mistakes” to learn what I needed to do in order to get to where I am now. (I put mistakes in quotations because nothing is a mistake if you learn from it.) Sitting still in difficult emotions is nearly impossible for me, even now at 2 years clean. I have to move my body when things are feeling very elevated. When I am still that addict can get ahold of my thoughts so much easier for some reason…
stillness + lots of emotion = outbursts/depression.
I either feel I want to crawl out of my skin or deeper into my body. Both of those feelings are high risk for relapse for me. So… because I am aware of that I just do not stay still anymore. I do not give my addict a chance. When something goes down that makes me feel elevated in some way, I get out into nature and I make sure those feelings are moving through my body.
That’s what works for me, that’s how I have gotten through some hard days in the last couple of years.
I am glad that you are here.
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Congratulations on your one month of freedom Alycia!!
ODAAT
I’m glad your here.
And…. When I think about moderation now it just makes me laugh. It ain’t gonna happen. Never did. Never will.
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I’m so proud of you. 
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This is so true, my mum uses a wheelchair and has the same problems mentioned by you both.
It difficult as you say as some people are just damn rude and ignorant where as others arent educated and dont realise, it just doesnt cross their mind.
Here in the uk there is this guy who i always see at the bus stops and he never gets to get on the bus, the drivers just ignore him, so i stay with him and make sure his journey goes ok. Its eye opening how so many people just walk past. Its great your friend has you to help him.
When my daughter was born she had to wear a specially made helmet for a condition linked to her rare eye condition. Everyone use to to just stare it used to bother me so much as i thought from her point of view all she must see is people just looking at her shocked all the time. I preferred people to just smile or to ask, just ask what its for but funny enough it was children that smiled and asked il never forget one teenager asking me in the street if she has it becuase she has violent episodes bless him she wasnt even 1, but asking i found better than just staring in shock and adults somehow just came across so uneducated and lack of empathy. This was 14 yrs ago.
I also worked with deaf/blind teenagers and adults before the 1st lockdown here in the UK its shocking how so many people treat people with conditons so bad unfortunately lost job due to using sign language and the need to use touch sign with deaf/blind meant only certain amount of people could stay due to preventing the spread of covid to the vulnerable.
Anyway hope all is well.
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Tonight will (hopefully) be day 58 of no self harm.
I just can’t get this anxiety out of my system. I just want everything to be over with. I’m so goddamn sick and tired of fighting to live and be ok. I don’t even know what’s wrong in particular. I just feel so bad and I don’t know how to make the feeling go away anymore.
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Continuing to work on my program and push through obstacles on a daily basis. Have a lot of major changes coming up . My lease is up on May 4 and I will be going to sober living to Continue my sobriety in a more structured environment. Trying to practice my gratitude with action. Staying busy even when I feel like laying around. Keeping things extremely simple is the best I can do for Foreseeable future…
Best of luck to everybody on this journey. Stay strong … Stay connected
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I may be experiencing sugar cravings while not drinking. Today I bought myself a cake & ran into someone I knew who was also buying a cake. He looks at me & is like “hey, are you going to a birthday party today too?”, I was like “ugh no…”
And I ate two slices of that cake tonight #noregrets
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Happy to see you continuing to post❤️
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Anxiety sucks. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It will get better. Message me anytime k❤️
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Thank you 
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My granny would always get the unbirthday kid a present. She never wanted anyone to feel left out. I try to do the same, but my sister has twice as many kids lol
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When my kiddo feels bummed out like this, I plan a date with her. I only have the one kiddo but I do get really busy with work and distracted with self care and my progress journey that she doesn’t get all my attention sometimes. I let her choose from a few options and then we go and she gets all my attention. Ur baby knows u love her and ur doing your best, trust in that
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She for ro pick dinner tonight and we are having ice cream.
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@Wisconsin I’m so please it all worked out okay 
congrats on double digits too 
@GPJ1991 welcome Im glad you’re trying again
@Lotusflower thank you Des 
@Butterflymoonwoman thank you so much I’m glad your friend has a friend like you looking out for him a woman at one shop I stopped at spoke to me like a child 
@Shna happy birthday to your kiddo 
it sounds like a great birthday I can relate to the mouth watering, mine does that when I have binge cravings, keep having the nice alternatives 
@Misokatsu thank you I took action, and there has been some progress today as a result
@Mno I hope things went well for Luna at the vets, I hope she’s okay proud of you for completing therapy and the way you are living your life now
@JennyH glad you shared with honesty here, I’ve certainly been there, and even experimented, so for what it’s worth, I can assure you it doesn’t work 
@Here.I.am welcome back 'm glad things have improved in other areas
@Alycia I hope your application works out and that your son heals quickly 
congrats on 30 days
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@KellyKelly I’m sorry you’re not content with your job, sending strength and hope for something better to come along
@DeadMist I’m sorry you’re feeling isolated and lonely 
sending strength and a virtual hug, if wanted 🫂
@DTC52 sending strength I hope your doctors appointment goes well
@Tragicfarinelli feel better soon sending strength
@Ollie_333 welcome
@Deep thank you
@Its_me_Stella thank you
@SadMemeQueen I don’t know if you already do it, but meditation takes the edge off my anxiety when it gets really overwhelming. Also, maybe talk to your doctor as it’s been quite some time you’ve been feeling this way and there is always something more they can offer. Sending strength
626 days no alcohol.
91 days no cocaine.
2 days no binge-eating.
I feel asleep before typing this part, my cats just woke me up for their breakfast, so now I’m trying to remember what happened yesterday…
I had an appointment in the city centre in thr morning, I didn’t take my wheelchair because I haven’t tried lifting it into my car boot yet and although it’s meant to be ‘light-weight’, it’s actually 26.8kg, I really struggled to even get it out the box it came in. Anyway, I was able to park right outside the clinic where my appointment was, I had my blood test, got some medications for my infections, and some more of a regular medication I take, and my UTI has cleared.
While I was in the city centre, I got the other side of my nose re-pierced, and now my glasses don’t catch on it, so it’s much better. I also got a hair cut, sent my ring off for repair, and went into the other piercing shop to get a slightly longer bar put into one side of my lip piercings, as the other one was pinching and getting sore, it feels much better now.
It was really making me anxious that I didn’t have anything in writing to confirm my upcoming new tenancy, and my landlord also messaged me a third time trying to accept my previous offer of a years rent. So, I emailed the estate agent to say this, and that ideally I need to respond to him to give notice that I’m ending my tenancy, but that I don’t wish to do so without having the assurance in writing that I’ve got the new one. She replied saying that she’ll get it emailed to me no later than tomorrow (today now), so I’m really glad I was assertive, it’s so hard sometimes though, especially when I’ve already asked once and not had a positive response.
Only 1 out of the 5 places I went were wheelchair accessible, it makes me sad, because I really struggled to get around, even though there wasn’t much distance between them all, it’s getting harder, my back is really bad at the moment, I’m hoping it will get better again as my weight goes down more.
I have my mid-way review at the hospital, for my bladder surgery tomorrow morning, to see how I’ve been since I had it, and to schedule the next one.
Looking forward to a hopefully stress-free bank holiday, where I can get outside in my wheelchair to learn how to drive it some more
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I take all the virtual love I can get. 
Thank you.
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Oh thats perfect! She will love that
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Also. Our daughters have the same birthday! My kiddos was yesterday too, turned 10
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