Hey guys- day 25 here. It’s the school holidays here, so have been keeping busy and hanging out with my kids and family.
Feeling better to be sober as I go along, I’ve been crocheting and painting, which has been nice. Good to get back into some hobbies again.
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Welcome Ashley! Great to have u here! Great pics and great people for sure! Has helped me tremendously! Hope u stick around and keep posting
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How cool is this! How was that? Another gift of recovery I’d say… being able to do things we would have never done while in axtive addiction 
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Day 41 ~ @Deep & @felipeandrews (Sober Twins!)
@Fury - I hope you bought some great vinyl during RSD day! Nice tattoo as well 
Normal morning…Had a tough time sleeping last night. Thinking about going into work for my last day and to sign HR paperwork. My office is already cleaned out. Meeting with my labor attorney prior to meeting with HR. Hopefully, things go smoothly. I hope I’m outta there in 30 minutes.
Been anxious, so I popped 2 Ativan, just to chill…geez! I MUST get off these meds. My prayer is that I can get off Benzos soon. I just don’t know? My Psychiatrist is an advocate for me and says my dosage is super low, so no worries. Yet, I need to get off all these meds…ugh.
My hope is that with a new job, AND time to heal from my previous job that I’ll get off at least a couple of meds. Just stick with Anti-depressant’s.
I don’t know what I’ll do today? Hmmm…I better be careful to not be bored. Boredom is a major trigger. I guess I can go for a long walk, since we finally have good weather.
As of right now…sipping coffee with my sweetheart❤️.
I so appreciate reading everyone’s threads!
On the turntable ~
“Panama’s Soul Gems”
Tamayo Records - 2022
Record Store Day Exclusive
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Omg Shay!!! I’m sorry I missed your huge milestone of 1000!!! Awe I feel bad. This is is huge! Proud of you 
thanks for being such an amazing inspiration on TS!
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A long walk can do wonders. I hope you get a chance to do that❤️
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No worries. Thank you doll. 
I appreciate everyones support. You are all amazing and are loved greatly. Have a beautiful day.
Thank you so much! I downloaded the app to count my days and was pleasantly surprised to find this community. I’m so excited to share my journey and learn about all of yours!
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Morning Check In:high_brightness:
Day 69
Morning TS fam! I’m heading to work. Beautiful day today… I think I’m going to get off the bus 1 or 2 stops earlier and walk and enjoy the sunrise (I’m always at work early anyway due to busses). Actually there is a little park there with swings that I wanted to check out. Feeling pretty emotional this morning actually. Not sure why. Every so often I get these realizations I guess with where I’m at today and how things used to be… in the darkness and grips of addiction, working in the sex trade, in a horrible abusive relationship, thinking I would literally end up dead from one of these methods. I can honestly say… over the past 22 years of using drugs and having various amounts of clean time… these 69 days have been the most peaceful, the most rewarding, and the most accepting of myself (even when I had 3 yrs clean). For me it is very much the quality of recovery. I had 3 years at one point and I dont ever remember the quality of my recovery being like this. I was scared half the time to leave the 12 step mtgs due to not trusting myself to not use and get into trouble. If I could’ve lived in those rooms, I would’ve back then. Today, I have a sense of freedom that I’ve NEVER had. A sense of self love and love for others. I give a shit about things now and I have things to lose today that I never wanna risk by using. I’m so beyond grateful. I would’ve never thot that recovery would be like this and that I’d actually be happy… even during shitty times. Fuck I’m grateful! Love u TS fam!
Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
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I will!! I’m so excited to have found this little community. It was very hard but I’ve made it this far. I can keep going right? My therapist told me when I get the urge, to spend that money on something indulgent instead like a delicious piece of chocolate or something. I think it’s a wonderful motivating idea!
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I’m so excited to be here! Thank you!
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Feeling a little lonely this morning… Going to try to enjoy time by myself and take the dog for a walk to the beach again. That always makes me feel better. Also despite having some cravings last night the night before they weren’t super strong and they didn’t last too long. I think I’ve been using food a little bit as something to look forward to but because I’m making really healthy choices and not feeling bad about it I’m not totally overdoing it and I guess with all the calories I’m saving from alcohol my body hasn’t changed. Every night though I’m having ice cream but it’s oat based ice cream and I use stevia chocolate chips. I don’t normally like talking a lot about food on here because I know some people have some issues, but one of the reasons I’m bringing it up is because I honestly feel like sometimes it’s the guilt of eating that spirals us into unhealthy eating patterns and I think we should try to eat to nourish our bodies and still enjoy treats. I’m super excited to be on day 25! Longer than my first attempt since joining here. Thanks everyone❤️
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Day 1 checking in!
It’s been a while and I’ve really managed to fuck things up with my life this time but as long as I have breath in my body I’ve still got a fighting chance right?
Happy to be back on the sober train
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I am so happy for ur 25 days today!!! I hear what ur saying about food tho. It can be another issue for many of us (as u know myself included). But I also feel like talking about it (in the right ways and not trying to be triggering) is a good thing too. For myself I have alot of shame around body image stuff and food (which I have just come to realize). When I don’t talk about it and keep it “hidden”, I give it power. There’s something about processing it and talking it out that releases that hold. AND I also notice a huge connection btwn eating unhealthy food and being triggered to use drugs! So im thinking also it’s a mental thing. When I feel awful about my eating or how I look, I get triggered to use (maybe bcuz I’m feeling negative intense emotion and then I want to use drugs to “fix” that emotion). I think ur on the right track tho about having healthier options to eat when u wanna look forward to a snack or indulge in something sweet etc. I used to love frozen yogurt (but idk if that’s a healthier option. Ur oat based icecream sounds nice! Never heard of that!). But addiction/alcoholism stems into every area of our lives so no matter what we talk about on here, it is directly related to our addictions I feel in 1 way or another. I’m seeing this happen lately for myself. And just trying to take care of it and work thru it in healthy ways I’m glad ur cravings are starting to be less intense. That’s awesome to hear! I hope u have a wonderful day my friend! Proud of u!
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Welcome back Byron!
Glad ur back again and ur absolutely right! As long as we are above ground we have the opportunity for change! We can choose each morning how we want the day to unfold!
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Super cute picture!
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An unusual day in a period of some unusual weeks.
Growing up in a religious fanatical area of my country, has always resulted in an aversion towards churches. And even though in later life I have been searching, this aversion has never vanished.
I hadn’t set foot in one for over 18 years, untill this morning.
Next to the graveyard I was yesterday, is a Baptist church. Yesterday evening, I decided to go.
Not sure why, but I guess I’m still trying to understand who or what my Higher Power is, and what it wants from / with me.
The first bodhissatva vow of Samantabhadra in the Avatamsaka sutra, is to pay homage to áll the buddhas. That one has always been a special vow to me because even back before I started using, I believed all religions shared the same message, only in different cultures and different times. From that point of view, people like Jesus and Mohammed are all enlightened persons, buddhas - so I can easily combine any religious teaching with the buddhist views.
So this perticular vow reminds me of that - there is no difference between any belief as long as it’s an engaged implementation. Deep down, there’s no difference between an engaged Buddhist and an engaged Christian. There’s no difference between the 14 precepts, and the Sermon on the Mount. Both show us a way of life we áll would prefer, if only it didn’t make us feel so incompetent to live up to it…
Anyway, I went to that church and to my surprise, a woman from NA was there, also a first timer there.
She came sitting next to me what surprised me. I always felt her fear of men made her avoid me. Today though, she sat next to me, we talked afterward and when we walked back home we even had a coffee on my garden terrace. We even hugged and that meant a lot to me.
She’s had a special place in my heart from day 1, not in a romantical way but just in a friendly way. I admire her strength, honesty and courage.
This was an unexpected but welcome moment of connection with a person I truly appreciate.
I still don’t understand what my Higher Power is, or wants from me but with moments like this it’s hard to deny it’s reaching out.
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Day 88. Lost and lonely today.
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Hugs 🫂 Hoping u find some peace and calmness and a sense of connection today
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Congratulations on your 25 days Miranda!
Your doing great.
You know I get that loneliness feeling too. I get that. And it’s normal. Doesn’t make it feel any better. But a dog walk on the beach sounds like great medicine. I substituted a lot of sugar, especially chocolate early on. Gelato 
. I wasn’t worried it about because I knew it was more important to not drink at any cost at this point.
And I think you made a great point here.
Definitely something to be aware of. I think it is also the addict brain trying to get back in there as well.
Have a great rest of your Sunday.
I’m glad your here.
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