I get it. We’re always walking this path but we’re always conscious of where we were because, whether we like it or not, it was a huge part of our life.
I don’t think we get an answer to that question. I don’t think any of us do.
I think what’s a more interesting - and maybe helpful - question is this: what am I going to do about this facet of my life? I am choosing to live healthy and functional (sober), 24 hours at a time, and that’s a good thing - but that doesn’t mean my addiction and all the mental and emotional pathways it had/has, are gone.
They just aren’t. They’re like dried up riverbeds, still visible in the landscape. So the question is, what is my relationship to this thing? Because it’s not disappearing. That’s not good or bad, it’s just a fact. For some people, they don’t get too wrapped up in this what-am-I-other-than-my-addiction question, but some do; I don’t know why 
Some people in 12 step programs relate to their addiction experience in a constructive way through sponsorship, which is a type of constructive relationship to the addiction experience, helping others find their way out of addiction.
Another way to relate to it is to create art about it. One of my family friends does this. I posted about it here:
There’s a lot of constructive ways you can relate to it. Really the question is this: obviously this is a thing that is going to keep popping into your mind and your emotions: I have this experience of addiction. It’s not good or bad, it’s just something that has that presence in you. So the question is, what can you do about this which is a constructive way to channel that experience?
I don’t know. But I suspect you’d feel some relief if you gave it some thought 
- at least then it can feel like it’s going somewhere constructive, and not just back on the using carousel.