Whoo hoo! So happy for you!
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Hi all Kat here checking in on day 286 without meth pills.
Recovering today after my PTSD was majorly triggered last night by a joke my brother made about it. It made me realize that I am not āoverā all my trauma and probably need to see a therapist again and get real. I feel bad for going off on my brother but to me this shit is deadly serious. It led to my initial drug use and nearly killed me.
My psychiatrists office phoned back I have an appointment June 1 going to talk about increased episodes of depression and suicidal thoughts which are usually an indication that I need a med increase/changeā¦
So thatās that, I am at work and doing a bit better today. Have lots of support which is great.
Wish everyone a clean 24!
@Butterflymoonwoman you got it, there is no way that shit can come in to your house, I would be relapsing within hours if I had dope in my house.
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Day 704 clean and sober today. Yesterday was a go with the flow nap/eat day and I needed it. Todays my Sunday and I will force myself out of the house and do something good. Have an amazing day everyone, I love you guys!!! 
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Glad ur continuing to keep working on the mental health aspect. I find being mentally stable so crucial for recovery. I feel awful about what happened to u with ur brother 
I hope he was apologetic and realized how serious that was for u. Itās funny bcuz my trauma too, I think Iāve pushed it down soo far over soo long that I āthinkā itās been dealt with. Then something will trigger it and itās a huge realization to me how I really havenāt dealt with it yet. But most times I donāt think it bothers me. I donāt know what happened to u (and im soo sorry that it did) I hope that you gain some sense of peace around that 
When I think of the things that have happened to me, I wonder to myself why my trauma seriously doesnāt debilitate me today. Am I that desensitized to it that it rarely does much to me?! Thatās awful to think about honestly. I guess all we can do is work and heal around it when it pops up.
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Making great choices. Your dealer was not being nice. One free bag now, 50 paid bags later. And your husbandās plan had more holes than a sieve.
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Bro this is so good to hear!!!
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Hey everyone. Another day down. Today seems to be a tough one. I have had bad cravings all day and I am trying to put them out of my mind. I knew I needed to check in here to try and help fight off the cravings. If I canāt get rid of them, Iāll be back to post again. Hope everyone has a great sober day
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Congrats Kyle !
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I know, I have a tendency to get a little carried away with my posts, im trying to work on that lol. But thanks for reading, and I appreciate the reply. It was a great time 
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Holy wow!!! The balls on that guy!!! Im glad u stood up for yourself and sobriety 
that was a big test
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What you see outside are picknick tables. Itās a small theater with a restaurant.
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I was getting mad anxiety reading that.
Big test for you guys, well done.
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Sorry to hear youāre struggling today. Take it moment by moment friend, you will get thru it
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Woooooohooooooo!
Congrats on your 2 years sober Kyle.
Thanks for always being my friend here, really happy to be on this journey with you.
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Cravings donāt last as long as we think; maybe do something that takes your mind off of it. It is hard but the feeling of not giving in is worth it.
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My hubby doesnāt want to use. He loves the way our life is today. I do think that initally he thought he could make an easy $100 off of that bag by selling it. But I also wonder if that addictive voice was sneaking into his mind, trying to convince him that he could potentially hold onto it till the weekend. His approach to recovery is to just not use. I donāt even know if he believes that he is in ārecoveryā bcuz he doesnāt think like me (and I know without a doubt, 100% that Iām an addict. Iāve known for decades). So for him, bcuz he doesnt think like an addict, he doesnāt have to work at recovery. He just doesnāt use. Me on the other hand, I have to work hard for sobriety. I have to do daily work. And I feel like I am the foundation to our recovery, bcuz Iām the one who says no. So I always feel like I have to be strong in my recovery bcuz if thereās a weak moment with me and he makes some sort of comment or hints at using, and I cave, then we both use. I donāt think he would make the choice on his own to not use. I feel like Iām the one to continue on all the time for both of us. Like Iām the leader and he follows. Donāt get me wrongā¦ sooo grateful that he is clean and he doesnāt put up a stink when I say no. He always agrees with me when I say that isnāt a good idea. He never goes behind my back and uses and comes home high etc. He actually has never even had a mouthful of alcohol in his 47 years of living (this was due to watching his stepfather commit suicide while intoxicated). And by hearing bits and pieces of my story and history with drugs, I think he is seeing how severe it is for me to go back out. I hope heās learning and growing from this experience too
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Omg 
Iām so sorry for the loss of ur treatment friend. Anytime I hear of an overdose it rips my heart into pieces. I really hope that u get a sense of calmness in ur day today. Full of gratitude for recovery thatās for sure. Praying for that manās family and for u also
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Thank u! My stomach was turning when he mentioned that to me. My mind was going back n forth for about 5 min until I told it shut up for a sec so I can tell hubby not to bother with it cuz we are doing so good! Iām glad I donāt sit with my thoughts anymore. I got with my gut and my heart and follow thru
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Thank you Dana and Iām soooooo proud of you and your husband, well done my friend!!!
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