Really needing some fresh air! On my balcony tonight!
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Day 642
Done with my work week! Off for a week now. The intention is to live slowly this week ā playing in the dirt, long meandering walks through the woods and fields along the river, cooking new things, reading, writing/journaling, painting. If the lake has finished thawing Iāll drag out the kayak. For now enjoying a hot mug of tea and heading to bed. Good night friends 
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What a sight, spectacular!
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Good morning check in!
New week after three days of with some slightly alcohol temptations but, fortunately, no problems.
It is great being woke up fresh an relax.
Happy twenty four hours!
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1060
Coffee. Last day of my working week. Got to negotiate with my manager today about the paid leave I have left in my current job. I want some time off before I start my new work, she will want me to stay working, paying me extra for not taking leave.
When I still was drinking and smoking I most certainly would have wanted the money to spend on drinking and smoking. Now Iām saving already. Well, if I was still drinking and smoking Iām not sure Iād have a job to go to in the first place, let alone a new one. Iāve got a compromise worked out in my head, letās see if she goes along.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it sober and clean or nothing will come of it. Love from Amsterdam.
@Poetrysavedme1972 This thread is a place where quite a few of us come daily to check in. I have been for the last nearly three years. Sure helped me in staying accountable.
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We live right downtown in Calgary. This is a panorama view of what I see off our balcony. Certain times of the day and night are very pretty! Thank u for commenting! Hope ur day is going well 
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1463
Went to a Menās NA meeting tonight. I have been to a lot of meetings since I have been clean, and am even the Secretary of a Tuesday noon meeting, but there is something about that meeting tonight that really wowed me. I felt so comfortable there. I shared that though Iāve been clean for 4 years, Iām not really recovering. Being clean is awesome, but only being clean just isnāt enough for me. I said I wanted to recover too. I wanted what they had, peace. I humbled my self and told them that I had never worked my steps, and asked for a Sponsor. I said that if you want a sponsee who has 4 years clean, has no desire to use, has their crap together and is ready to things to the next level, then Iām your guy. It felt good getting it out, and immediately after we prayed out, someone pulled me aside and said they wanted to Sponsor me. He said that he hasnāt sponsored anyone new in a long time and that he really doesnāt want to take anyone new, but that something I said really hit home with him. He said admitting I had never done the steps and asking for a Sponsor in a room full of strangers was a big deal, and then gave me his terms. 1: call him every morning for the next 30 days. 2: read the Big Book every day. After 30 days weāll start step work. I am elated. Some people are against the steps. Some think they are unnecessary. I felt that way for a long time too, but I realized just being clean isnāt good enough anymore.
I stopped posting here regularly a long time ago because I felt I had nothing to share anymore. There were people asking for help and I felt helpless to help. I felt that how can I help someone else if I donāt know how to help myself. Iām hoping that once I start recovering I can pay it forward. I want to get involved with Veterans Court and help other Veterans struggling with addiction. I feel Iām on my way to eventually do that and more.
NEVER CRAVE ALONE
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Nice, congrats with speaking out you wanted a sponsor !
Itās never too late to start with one Iād say
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Day 198
Day 4 No Caffeine
The lil man was a little fussy today. Took him out to the park for a couple of hours. Gotta give the wifey a break too. My heartburn is still off and on, but Iāve been feeling better. I miss the fast food tho, and soda 
. If I continue like this I might disappear by the end of the year. My oldest son told me I looked skinny lol. Anyways, everything is good here.
@SadMemeQueen Good luck with your interviews. Hope you get the job. I know how it feels to be alone. I have my 2 kids that keep me going. I might not feel loved sometimes, but Ima focus on giving my kids the best life. As long as I have them, ima keep fighting to stay sober. Every day counts. Praying for you.
@TS yall have a goodnite. Stay safe and take care.
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1965 days, what a day of ups and downs. Went to therapy for the first time in a month today. I thought she was going to tell me she couldnāt see me anymore. Because I guess I sorta have a different idea of what I want to work on every time I go in, and she wasnāt sure she was giving me what I wanted or needed. Phew, that wasnt the case. I will see her again in 3 weeks. Also I couldnāt make it to my usual womenās meeting yesterday because of my dadās birthday. So I am feeling a little weak in the support department overall. Drinking is not an option as a fill-in though. So you guys at TS will have to keep me going!
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Iām sorry for your loss. Iāve been though this before. Itās so hard to say goodbye. Time heals, but they are forever in our hearts.
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Wishing you a brighter day tomorrow. Those āmehā days are difficult. Good for you for not giving into that craving or that voice in your head trying to convince you that you could just perhaps have one. I had that voice tonight as well actually and I got past it. Itās such a great feeling isnāt it?
If you make it to the gym tomorrow morning I hope you feel great about it but if you donāt make it there, I hope you can still have a great day. Itās hard when we set an intention and donāt follow through because I think it can cause us to feel a bit down on ourselves. Sometimes we just canāt do it though and we need to listen to our bodies and our minds as well if weāre not up to doing what we thought we could do.
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Wow, that is realy beautiful picture! 
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Yess totally agree and thank you!! I so appreciate it. Definitely think pushing through this first 30 was the first time i had to keep choosing something for myself to just be better. Also yeah 100% agree not dealing with the cravings all alone makes it so much easier!
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I know how it feels. I send you lots of strength and love to get through the dayš·
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Have a nice week. Nice things to do I see, enjoy itš·
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Day 51. I donāt feel the need to drink. I see beer on the shelfs of the supermarket and I feel indiferent. I rather drink some pineapple juice.
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day 630
Rough day doing homework with son. He forgot half the books at school, and 3 day national holiday so canāt go and get them. There was procrastination, endless misunderstandings and mistakes, of the content and how to do it. I had to sit next to him and direct all of it, it was very time consuming and frustrating. I did not conceal my irritation well, to put it mildly. Jhs is such a big jump, not just in content, but general admin and study skills. He is struggling, and I am worried, but canāt help being frustrated too. Must do better.
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I am sorry it was a hard day. I have gone to bed many a night with āmust try harderā as my last thoughts. Be kind to yourself though, it is a big jump and it sounds like you are being a wonderful Mum.
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