Hey all, checking in on day 689. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Day 631
Another meltdown from my son, we bought a model car kit from a museum we visited, he lost pieces, he was distraught he had āruined his memoryā and he ācanāt do anythingā. He cares so much, but is also rather careLESS, a challenging combination. I comforted him the best I could, while also trying to make him take responsibility for losing the pieces. And cue my daughterās complaints of me always paying more attention to him. These days āoffā have been far from relaxing.
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I fought cravings allllll dayā¦nearly caved but made 33 days AF. Going to bed sober.
I readā¦itās better to be sober wishing you were drinking than to be drunk wishing you were sober.
Night night 
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Checking in on day 327. Looking forward to going for a nice hike in the countryside.
Congratulations @Fargesia on 1000 days and @anon74766472 on 3.5 years (and one second 
)
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Checking in, 544 days no alcohol, 54 days no cigarettes. I havenāt been too active here lately, but I do read every day. It helps me focus on self-care and to commit to sobriety, although I donāt really crave self-destruction at the moment.
I still feel a bit trapped living with my ex, itās hard to be in a situation that is a dead-end, but on the other hand I know that this is the best solution for now. Itās hard not to sabotage something that is good, but wasnāt my intention to have. I tend to ditch the good things from my life that I didnāt want to achieve on purpose, I tend to quit the good situations that wasnāt my idea to be in. Itās hard not to resent my ex, although I know, that he is not the one who makes me feel trapped. Itās the unacceptance of not being able to re-live my life under the current conditions. I miss and crave so many situations that didnāt happen, so many unexperienced experiences. Being bonded to him seems to prevent me from catching up with my real life, although itās not his fault that I cannot start over from the beginning, I really shouldnāt blame him subconsciously, even if his presence reminds me of unfulfilled desires.
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Thank you!! Iāve made it through day 4, and will wake to day 5. So excited !!
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Nice to see you. Not being able to turn the clock back is a hard one to let go. In this case, let go or be dragged 
.
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Day 25
Dreams are getting worse and worse every night. The urges are controllable but constant like every min. Pushing through another day.
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Good morning. Itās day 16 which I am very grateful. Although Iāve made it this far, I have been slacking on being disciplined on putting my recovery first. That is scaring me. Iām going to a meeting tonight no matter what!
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Day 7 for me! Still having some withdrawal symptoms but Iām staying positive, never thought I could make it this far! I want to stay sober, Iāve been drinking more than half my life. Have a great day all!
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Good morning everyone checking in on day 257. Another rainy but warm day so Iāll be spending it on schoolwork. Been having a difficult time sleeping the last few months. Was horrible first few months then finally getting about 6-7 a night back to maybe 3 a night. I take melatonin, and do guided meditations to clear my head but cannot shut my brain off when I lay down. Anyone else have these fluctuations in sleep? Longest Iāve had sober in a decade. Hope everyone has a great day and stays safe!
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Really like that!
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Almost to day 60 and going great. My second oldest is graduating this month. This oneās a bit tougher as she has special needs so she missed out on alot of senior stuff because of that (loud noises and bright lights could trigger seizures). She asked me last night why my oldest had received alot of cards last year and she hasnāt received any. Sheās intellectually disabled but she can still figure things out. Itās a bit stressful seeing her being down. She canāt read other than her name, so I may go buy 50 cards and over the next few weeks randomly put them in the mailbox. Other than that Iāll be starting 521ā of a ranch fence around the front of our property (I see heating pads, ice packs, and ibuprofen in my near future).
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Oh Fleur, I feel for you. Grade ten has been absolute hell for my daughter. I am grateful that I am homeschooling because there is no way she would have passed if she was attending in person. I remember the jump from elementary to junior was hard for her too and then COVID hit and sheās never gone back. I am so effing grateful that I am not using during these yearsā¦ something got my head on straight at just the right time. I also have days where I get frustrated and have to remind myself that she is trying her best with what she has right now. The whole piece of her refusing medication and now watching her suffer as she is SO stressed trying to get through courses is painful for me. All I can do is have faith and stay positive for her.
Sending lots of loving mumma vibes your way.
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Our kids must be distant cousins or something. That sounded just like my house.
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Day 8 and starting with good sleep and prayer time and exercise
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Day 691 clean and sober today. Made it through the deposition yesterday to the best of my ability. My attorney said I did great and now we wait. Not sure if anything is going to come of this but at least Iām just doing the next indicated step. I hope everyone has a fantastic day today, love you guys!!! 
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Wow that was deep af @Tomek, you put into words the feelings that I had surrounding the break up with my ex and the feelings Iām still working through. Thank you for sharing that, it just put things in a new perspective, youāre awesome!!!
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Day 3 AF for me. I had trouble sleeping and when i did they were dreams about rejection and failure, thank you online dream dictionary. Booze was on my mind and it was the reason i got kicked out of college, in my dream. Iām thankful i went to bed sober and woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed. Heres to a productive day!
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