Started my sober day with a refreshing lake swim with friends!
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Day 21. To be honest, didnāt think Iād make it past 20. Yesterday was rough, been having a tough time walking past few days, trouble concentrating at my job. Saw Dr on Friday; besides all my other alcohol related health issues, I have fat, irregular red blood cells, who knew that was a thing.
I gave up last night, by the grace of God I didnāt drink. I usually avoid driving after dark, so I kept holding off going to the store for vodka. Then I had it all planned, store sells at 8am, I would take day off of work and start drinking this morning. I asked God last night to please help me. This morning I woke up fairly normal, usual pains. But I could walk again. Still hesitant, I called in to work and took day off. Iāve been on here most of the morning. Itās almost noon, and I donāt think I want to drink anymore, just have a lazy day with Max & Riley by my side, watching TV, playing videogames.
I pray I can get my health back, I read that your liver can regenerate and maybe my blood cells can go back to normal. Iām not covered in little random bruises like I was when drinking (signs of liver trouble) so thatās good. I 
Iām not too late. I have a son, and twin toddler grandbabies, I would like to see them grow up. Thank you all for reading, sorry for the length. Love to all! 
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Day 48
Still recovering from the change of routine and trying but failing to return to morning workouts again this morning. Iām reaching out though. Iām trying to just do the things. I know the whole bit about consistency and stuff. Iām just. Itās hard sometimes and I need to start getting comfortable with being OK with how difficult itās going to be to stay consistent with my particular set of neurons and brain cells. Iām here. Iām be here tomorrow and todayās a whole day to reconvene and get ready to return to the morning routine tmw
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Good job! Congrats 
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So Iāve decided that everyday Iām gonna find a new spot to walk with the dog, really enjoying the cliffside walks. Though there is a minor panic that the dog will decide over the cliff looks a good way to go ha!
Got so many modules of work to get through and yesterday was a super triggering day after no sleep on Monday night. I have to accept on these days there is nothing I can do but let the TIC attacks happen and hope they arenāt prolonged enough to send me to hospital.
Back to studying for a couple of hours and gonna try getting back into drawing as itās another thing I just let slip when I was just too busy for anything!
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Warrior woman!!! Ur stronger than u think 100% 
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Never apologize for the length of ur posts! I write books sometimes lol I feel bad too honestly for writing so much. Itās just who I am haha
Iām so grateful u didnāt drink. U deserve a good life and u deserve to feel good about urself and ur life. Itās hard sometimes for sure to get thru those cravings. But itās NOT impossible. Over time u will get more and more tools to help pull u thru and it does get easier. God is a huge part of my recovery also! He has pulled me thru some hard times like He did for u 
Iām glad ur sober!
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Hey guys. Its day 15.
Had a great session in the gym today.
@Matt Hey man, thanks for the support. Have a nice day.
@anon53116147 Hey mate, yeah. Its nice to have a sober twin. Have a great day.
Bubyeā¦
Peaceā¦
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Day 133 AF
I was fortunate enough to get in to see my counsellor at short notice just over 24 hours ago and explained that I felt myself slipping into a depressive state once again. I took the day off work and spent it in nature with my camera which was very pleasant. Hopefully this all passes soon.
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Day 214 AF
Had a convo with my wife last night. I had tripped on her over somethin so small, and I felt pretty stupid about it afterwards. I apologized to her. SMH. I donāt know why gotta keep trippin over nothin. Trying to forget my past and the damaged that Iāve caused, but itās hard. Anyways, weāre good now.
Have a great day everyone!
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Day 109 AF
I keep acting as though I should only care about my alcohol addiction. Just completely forgetting about my process addictions. Restarting POM count as of yesterday and Iāll stop playing any videogames for now. Damn, every time I mention POM in check ins, or anywhere or even think about putting it in I feel so ashamed. Had a good phonecall with a fellow which encouraged me to focus on this addiction aswell . It has such a negative impact on my confidence and self image. Iām ready for this journey once again. Gn all!
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@Matt running is so so good for you. I used to run all the time before a knee injury. Iād say rest days or at least active rest days where you walk/stretch/swim on days off from running are important. Iām glad to hear that it helped get those good endorphins flowing!
@mamador try and be easy on yourself. Your consistency with the gym will come, just keep trying to have those set consistent days and make sure you plan in your consistent set rest or active rest days. For me, I use my three days off from my 5am gym days for long walks with my dog in the morning before work. But rest days are soooo important too. And if you miss a day here and there, just keep trying to get back into your set days and remember itās a marathon, a long term habit. Just keep trying. Your doing such a big job adjusting to sobriety, being a mumma, just like me, everything else will fall into place as we get further into it
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Checking in- I made it to 50 days! happy dance
My sleep is so much better at the moment. I get really dark when I donāt sleep so Iām grateful the melatonin is helping. It was my dadās anniversary yesterday, 9 yrs without him. I feel a massive hole in my life without my parents. They passed pretty young, and Iāve navigated through my life on my own through some hard times alone since they passed. I donāt take a lot of time to stop and think about that, so yesterday and today itās weighing a bit heavy on my heart.
Heading to go get some exercise. I hope you all have a wonderful day x thanks for listening
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Iām so sorry you had to deal with that kind of behavior from ur family you deserve better
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Congratulations on your 21 days Maxie.
The first month is a real bitch. You scored a a HUGE victory last night. Iām glad you have been on here most of the day. Thereās so many threads to keep you busy. Iām sorry about you health issues. I hope you can get back to walking without pain. You seem like an awesome lovely lady and we are here with you. Lean on us as much as you like. Make your post as long as you like. Someone is always around to help. We got your back.
Iām going to be having my first grandchild in July. Iām gonna be a grandpa 
. It will be long distance. But I canāt wait. And Iāll be sober for the whole grandchild experience. And then some.
Give Ol beautiful Max a good snuggle and Riley a nice scratch on the head. And keep checking in. Youāre so worth it.
ODAAT.
Just for today.
Oh and give that body some time. Itās an amazing machine. You will get better.
Talk about long winded.
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Thatās so beautiful Danni.
Iād love to see more on the nature thread if you got time and youāre willing.
Nice to see you around again. Your post are always full of wisdom.
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Tonight will be day 78 of no self harm.
Iām doing okay I guess. Just been having a lazy day since Iāve had a migraine since last night. Hoping to hang out with my new vr friend but I havenāt heard from him yet today.
I got a new desk and itās so much roomier and far nicer than my old one. I can actually fit more than just my laptop on it. Been spending a lot of time in my room now that I have the space to color and do my hobbies on my desk. It is much better being in my room, I avoid at least some of the fights with my family. Unfortunately it is quite easy to ignore the need to eat while in my room.
Something positive: new desk
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absolutely amazing how far you have come and you know Iām proud of you but that fear is the reason people like us have to take it one day at a time. I canāt be clean and sober for the rest of my life itās impossible as well as being bloody boring, I can do today though, 1 day is a lot more manageable than it used to be. Stay in the moment my dear, stay in the moment. 
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congrats on your 1 month sober 
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