Ohhh oops I misunderstood it, time for bed i think! Lords Prayer… wow that’s an interesting one to end on, I’d be avoiding also…
Hi hun, I’m glad you went to the women’s group. As far as the hugging goes, think of it as a way of breaking our isolating, standoffish ways we created with our disease. Hugging opens the barriers and show welcome, I understand you, I’m here for you. At the same time you have the right as well as the responsibility to let them know that you aren’t comfortable with that contact yet. I have faith you will find the words.
Now about the higher power thing. I was a pure agnostic when I entered the rooms. I was also raised in the church. Southern Baptist The one that preached hellfire and damnation every Sunday. I had no clue who my higher power was much less of its existence. My spiritual awakening began when I did my third step. As we worked through it I felt a warmth surround me like I was cupped in loving hands. I will NEVER forget that feeling.
Still unsure of who HP was I explored different avenues. A God of MY understanding. Today I call my HP Grandfather. Father Sky, Mother Earth. Grandfather is the universal energy that created everything. We are all one, everything on this earth. So I’m just saying find your understanding. The word God in the Lord’s Prayer doesn’t have to be static. Translate it in your heart to your own HP. Don’t let a word be the thing that you focus on as differences to separate yourself. Adjust the meaning instead. I hope this makes sense to you.
Congratulations to you on 398 and wish your daughter luck for the state championship. That’s great. Let me know how it goes. Sounds like a nice weekend ahead. I can relate, my daughter is loving her summer basketball camp, won the camp tourney yesterday. Nice to be present and share those moments with the kids.
Great movie BTW- enjoy. Keep it up TS crew
To clarify its the highschool team going to state. My girl is 9 years old but loves the HS girls team; she also has her age level travel team championship this weekend though. Thanks much.
It feels fast when I think about all the things that have happened in two years but slow when I think about the day to day fight lol! Thank you Lisa!! It’s truly a group effort and support from each other!! love yas lady!!!
@MelSews it feels FANTASTIC FABULOUS and absolutely WONDERFUL I love life more now than I ever have in my life!! Thank you!!
Checking in.
890 Days.
Ever read something you just got to share with everyone and hope every reads it. Brought tears to my eyes.
I believe some of you know I’m struggling, living with my alcoholic. I’ve been going to AlAnon. And And it is helping. I feel like I’m actually working a program. Anyway….
This brought tears to my eyes.
We are so fucken powerless.
Sorry it’s so long.
Turmoil and Tranquility at the
Ocean’s Edge
I am Powerless
While I sat at the ocean’s edge, it was obvious that there was a Power greater than I. The sea was immense—waves rolling in and out without ceasing. Nothing I could do would stop the motion, change the waves significantly, or corral the vast amount of water that stretched to the horizon and beyond. I was absolutely powerless over this body of water.
I observed beachgoers over the course of a week. When the surf was rough and choppy, most people noted the advisories and stayed on shore. A few went in anyway where they were thrashed about. One was scraped and bloodied, another was caught in a riptide—a lifeguard had to rescue him.
When the water was calm, people of all ages relaxed in the water where the ocean gently massaged them. As the waves got a little bigger, people had fun bodysurfing or catching a wave on a surfboard.
The pleasure, the tranquility, came from accepting the ocean for what it was and responding to it accordingly. No amount of cajoling could whip up waves to surf on a calm day. No amount of screaming or whining could calm the rolling sea on a stormy day.
God used my week at the ocean to help me see that there is at least one vast thing over which I am totally powerless—over which I will never have control. Could I possibly be equally powerless over alcohol and my alcoholic loved ones as well?
Instead of spending my life trying to control the uncontrollable and always wishing the day brought something different, can’t I go with the flow today? I can relax, rejoice, and be recreated in the calm moments, and not allow myself to enter into the storms when they roll in.
In this way, I can admit my powerlessness over alcohol, yet keep control over my feelings and reactions. By letting go and trusting God. I can enjoy my life the same way I enjoy the beach—“One Day at a Time.”
By Barb R. January, 2007
God Bless you all
I’m going to try and go with the flow today.
Morning Check in
Day 116
Missed my Check in yesterday. Things are still good! Had a birthday to attend for family. It was a quiet gathering. I did all the decorations for the party and it was so much fun! It really felt good to be present and being focused on them and giving them all the attention instead of me being consumed with using drugs or not even there at all. Today was payday and I have kept my commitment to my parents about the plan for repayment on my debt. I gave them my 1st real payment towards that. Paid some other things also. I’m really grateful for my recovery. I honestly never expected my life to be so good being clean. And it’s not like there’s anything particularly exciting about it. I literally love doing daily stuff and paying bills and being accountable and responsible. Sounds silly I guess to most people but I really enjoy striving for peace. I really missed out on alot of life those 22 years of using. But I am so glad that I am clean and sober now Hpe everyone is well and had an addiction free day!
Isn’t it amazing when adulting can bring you pleasure and pride? Who would have thunk it?
Day 2004. I’m realizing that I am setting my fees for engineering to a large degree based on “wanting to be liked.” Instead, I need to be more realistic and base my pricing on the idea that I still want to be in business in a year! I WILL MAKE THIS WORK!! I don’t want another 9-5 job working for a bad boss!! I like to be able to work at home when my kids get off school instead of being stuck in an office. (I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad - I worked “stuck in an office working for a bad boss” for years and years. It got me to where I am now. )
Right?! Like I actually get a weird satisfaction from doing these things and knowing my money went to the right places. I feel at peace I used to use drugs to try and change how I felt, which left me ALWAYS in worse scenarios. The stuff I was trying to be free from by using drugs (emotions or bad situations) were made worse when using, yet I kept using. I was going about life all the wrong way. Life will have its up n downs but I can do healthy things today that really increase my sense of peace and satisfaction in my life instead of the toxic things I used to before
On day 4. Check.
Those are some good sugars Franzi! That’s awesome
Start of Day 6…. I have made some decisions this week. One of them being putting boundaries on a friendship that has contributed to me relapsing several times in the past 4 years. Ultimately, I know the relapses are my fault. I thought I could still have friends that “party” and still hang out with them. No,I can’t. They say they respect my sobriety but they don’t. Other things have happened over the past few months as well that are regrettable. Making changes/putting boundaries in those areas too. I am grateful to be back on track. One more time, let’s try one more time…One day at a time….Have a great day everyone!
Hi,
Thank you for taking time out to reply to me, it’s really appreciated. Been difficult mentally for the last couple of days. But I’m still sober that’s a bonus.
Thank you for sharing that, it was a very good, very well written and pointed piece, and really did make me consider for today. Glad you’re still able to engage with a community and i really hope you’re able to have a day of at least some peace. Take care!
Wonderful advice as a fellow agnostic with Christian childhood, I felt the same fears/separation even before attending my first meeting. What you say makes total sense. Thank you
Yes, I can relate to that. I more so meant the people that I put myself around, knowing the affect that will have on me. I know I am responsible for all choices I make good or bad. I don’t blame the people. I blame my poor decision making when it comes to the company I keep.
@Butterflymoonwoman your check in today makes so much sense to me too, just that feeling of knowing things are sorted out, that i am reliable that people are realising they can rely on me, im not waking up in a panick the bills i used the money for to use.
Its so nice to follow your story congratulations on your 116 days i feel so proud and happy everything is falling into place for you.
@Joyce19 congratulations on your 4 days, your doing really well and just pushing through, keep going strong, it gets better and better
@Andrea4 congrats on your 6 days your plan of setting boundaries sounds like a good one.
@Lorelai congratulations on your 989 days, thats huuuuge.
@kat261 glad to see your back here, i find checking in daily helps, theres just something about it that keeps my mind in the right place. Congratulations on your day 2.
@Rockstar24777 Wow 728 days is big !! Thanks for checking in on me means alot i keep waking up at 4am it starts getting light here then.
@Ravikamor massive congratulations on your 2 years.
@Dazercat That was a lovely read thank you.
I have seen most of the posts so far just cant reply to all personally or will be here forever but to
every one who is sober today congratulations and im proud to stand side by side with you all and be sober today together
Your here and that matters, it means you havent given up. Dont let bad feelings and low negative thoughts keep you in a bad place. Im glad your here reaching out, we are all stronger than we think.
When i feel like this i do get onto a meeting or meditate m. Just a thought.