Much love to you 2 man thank you
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I love being in nature. Hiking, walking, gardening. I enjoy reading and cooking.
I failed last night. I feel so stupid bc I even posted I know my triggers for the day. Restart the clock. Restart the brain.
I canāt not go home after work, I have a husband and dog to take care of. I canāt put my sobriety in his hands by easily talking myself into a beer when he opens one when he walks in the door. He doesnāt want to quit, we will always have beer in the house.
Thanks for your reply and input. You are appreciated 
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Checking in 2 years, 3 months, 5 days clean. I am On my way to a root canal appointment that I have put off for a yearā¦ I had a lot of dental work within the last year and I am almost finished with it but I am proud of myself for facing my fear and tending to my health. I am also going thru a lot right now. I had
My boyfriend tell me he was talking to
Other women while he was locked up to get $$$ out of them to get hit basic necessities metā¦ kind of upsetting bc I thought he has changed. I ended up forgiving him and justifying it in my mind that he was doing it for that and not for emotional needs but Iām
Still not sure ā¦ I donāt know what to do. I feel like itās hard for me to let him go
Bc I went so long without a bf and someone I had a connection to. Anyway then I found a loaded pipe in my little brothers room
Over the weekend and thought it was meth and told
My parents but it was DMTā¦ still though it really triggered me. At 2 years clean my addiction was telling
Me to go upstairs and smoke whatever was in that pipe and who cares if I go into
Another psychosis or have a bad reaction it doesnāt matter. My sponsor didnāt pick up and neither did my therapy DBT coach. So I went through it with me and my HP cause I was alone in the house and then my ex / bf what ever he is bf we still
Talk called and kept me distracted ā¦ well yeah and me and my roommate got
In a fight bc sheās mad that I talk about my HPā¦ I am just like wtf. Anyway Iām not responsible for
Her feelings. So yeah but Iām trying to get thru these temptations and obstacles one day at a time soberā¦ JUST FOR TODAY
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Youāre doing awesome, Flannery. Coming from a motherās perspective, step back from your bf. Use this time for you and be selfish about taking care of yourselfā¦mental health, etc. I think him āusingā other women for money shows his integrity at the very least and disrespectful to his current gf.
Let him do him, you donāt have to be in his world.
Edit: of course if you want to itās your call too. Iām just coming from a momās pov! 
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Ten days sober of self harm. Feels good walking around without my legs stinging. This is a huge milestone for me. My goal is at least 50 days. Hopefully forever
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Checking in on day 383. Getting in a solid workout right now. Going to spend the afternoon prepping for our oldest sonās highschool graduation party this weekend. Hard to believe thats upon us already. I feel old. Later tonight we have my daughterās next level softball Allstars team tryouts. Hoping she is successful as she is really excited for it. Have a great day everyone. Itās a great day to be above ground and sober.
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Day 8 checking in.
Stayed up late playing some games with friends. Only got about 5 hours of sleep because of that. But lemme tell you guys, I thought I would be tired but 5 hours of sleep is like Iām God damn Snow White compared to any hangover.
Thanks for all the support guys, you truly are all such a great asset to the people here. Itās amazing what even an online thread can accomplish for so many. This place is a great showing of human honesty, and thatās just a beautiful thing imo.
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Thanks very muchā¦ but I would be happier if I were back at my one-time achievement of 9 months !
Patience, I knowā¦
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I relapsed around the 2 and a half year mark pick yourself up keep moving forward Iām now back to over 8months as long as we learn from our mistakes 
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Here I am just 13hours away from 2 weeks AF. Feeling great. Iāve lost some weight even though Iām eating a bit more junk than usual (not really a sweet tooth guy so Iām lucky there). When I say junk itās more an extra serving or bigger serving. I did buy skittles yesterday which when I was drinking I would never have done because of the guilt from how much weight the drinking put on or how bloated I was. Itās strange to think though that i have the longest sober stretch now since I deployed in 2011 and it all started with a Valium from my vasectomy almost 2 weeks ago. I never had a drug problem but I did so drugs way back when I was younger pot, Xanax, cocaine, dilaudid really any pill was game. Thatās kinda how I justified my Alcohol addiction. āI never got addicted to drugs, I can stop drinking anytime.ā Well itās different for everyone, me I know I canāt have just one drink.
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Good work man.
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Wow!!! How did I miss this?! Omg congratulations!!!
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Right on!!! Love this post! Congratulations on 10 days 
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Iām sooo excited for u! This is such a huge deal!!! Really proud and happy for you my friend!!
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Happy heavenly birthday to your son Corey. I know heās soo proud of you! Hugs!
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Thank you very much Dana, I appreciate that 
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Iām sorry for your loss, Iām sure your son is so proud of you as he is watching over 
. Your strength is to be admired.
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