Checking in daily to maintain focus #43

Much love to you 2 man thank you

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I love being in nature. Hiking, walking, gardening. I enjoy reading and cooking.
I failed last night. I feel so stupid bc I even posted I know my triggers for the day. Restart the clock. Restart the brain.
I canā€™t not go home after work, I have a husband and dog to take care of. I canā€™t put my sobriety in his hands by easily talking myself into a beer when he opens one when he walks in the door. He doesnā€™t want to quit, we will always have beer in the house.
Thanks for your reply and input. You are appreciated :yellow_heart:

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Checking in 2 years, 3 months, 5 days clean. I am On my way to a root canal appointment that I have put off for a yearā€¦ I had a lot of dental work within the last year and I am almost finished with it but I am proud of myself for facing my fear and tending to my health. I am also going thru a lot right now. I had
My boyfriend tell me he was talking to
Other women while he was locked up to get $$$ out of them to get hit basic necessities metā€¦ kind of upsetting bc I thought he has changed. I ended up forgiving him and justifying it in my mind that he was doing it for that and not for emotional needs but Iā€™m
Still not sure ā€¦ I donā€™t know what to do. I feel like itā€™s hard for me to let him go
Bc I went so long without a bf and someone I had a connection to. Anyway then I found a loaded pipe in my little brothers room
Over the weekend and thought it was meth and told
My parents but it was DMTā€¦ still though it really triggered me. At 2 years clean my addiction was telling
Me to go upstairs and smoke whatever was in that pipe and who cares if I go into
Another psychosis or have a bad reaction it doesnā€™t matter. My sponsor didnā€™t pick up and neither did my therapy DBT coach. So I went through it with me and my HP cause I was alone in the house and then my ex / bf what ever he is bf we still
Talk called and kept me distracted ā€¦ well yeah and me and my roommate got
In a fight bc sheā€™s mad that I talk about my HPā€¦ I am just like wtf. Anyway Iā€™m not responsible for
Her feelings. So yeah but Iā€™m trying to get thru these temptations and obstacles one day at a time soberā€¦ JUST FOR TODAY

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Youā€™re doing awesome, Flannery. Coming from a motherā€™s perspective, step back from your bf. Use this time for you and be selfish about taking care of yourselfā€¦mental health, etc. I think him ā€œusingā€ other women for money shows his integrity at the very least and disrespectful to his current gf.
Let him do him, you donā€™t have to be in his world.
Edit: of course if you want to itā€™s your call too. Iā€™m just coming from a momā€™s pov! :hugs:

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Ten days sober of self harm. Feels good walking around without my legs stinging. This is a huge milestone for me. My goal is at least 50 days. Hopefully forever

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Checking in on day 383. Getting in a solid workout right now. Going to spend the afternoon prepping for our oldest sonā€™s highschool graduation party this weekend. Hard to believe thats upon us already. I feel old. Later tonight we have my daughterā€™s next level softball Allstars team tryouts. Hoping she is successful as she is really excited for it. Have a great day everyone. Itā€™s a great day to be above ground and sober.

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Day 8 checking in.

Stayed up late playing some games with friends. Only got about 5 hours of sleep because of that. But lemme tell you guys, I thought I would be tired but 5 hours of sleep is like Iā€™m God damn Snow White compared to any hangover.

Thanks for all the support guys, you truly are all such a great asset to the people here. Itā€™s amazing what even an online thread can accomplish for so many. This place is a great showing of human honesty, and thatā€™s just a beautiful thing imo.

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Thanks very muchā€¦ but I would be happier if I were back at my one-time achievement of 9 months !
Patience, I knowā€¦

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I relapsed around the 2 and a half year mark pick yourself up keep moving forward Iā€™m now back to over 8months as long as we learn from our mistakes :pray:t2:

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Here I am just 13hours away from 2 weeks AF. Feeling great. Iā€™ve lost some weight even though Iā€™m eating a bit more junk than usual (not really a sweet tooth guy so Iā€™m lucky there). When I say junk itā€™s more an extra serving or bigger serving. I did buy skittles yesterday which when I was drinking I would never have done because of the guilt from how much weight the drinking put on or how bloated I was. Itā€™s strange to think though that i have the longest sober stretch now since I deployed in 2011 and it all started with a Valium from my vasectomy almost 2 weeks ago. I never had a drug problem but I did so drugs way back when I was younger pot, Xanax, cocaine, dilaudid really any pill was game. Thatā€™s kinda how I justified my Alcohol addiction. ā€œI never got addicted to drugs, I can stop drinking anytime.ā€ Well itā€™s different for everyone, me I know I canā€™t have just one drink.

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Good work man.

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Wow!!! How did I miss this?! Omg congratulations!!!

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Right on!!! Love this post! Congratulations on 10 days :clap:

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Iā€™m sooo excited for u! This is such a huge deal!!! Really proud and happy for you my friend!!

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@liv_m yep! From one of my paintings :sparkling_heart:

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Happy heavenly birthday to your son Corey. I know heā€™s soo proud of you! Hugs!

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Thank you very much Dana, I appreciate that :sunglasses::metal:t2:

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Iā€™m sorry for your loss, Iā€™m sure your son is so proud of you as he is watching over :sparkling_heart:. Your strength is to be admired.

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Thank you very much @IamThechange :sunglasses::metal:t2: