I think you are right, I am outraged on her behalf. We were standing there minding our own business. The woman in front of us was ranting at the pharmacist so it was hardly a “fun” situation to be smiling.
I was very friendly to him before that and then just turned and ignored him. I was genuinely shocked and didn’t trust myself to say anything. My daughter hadn’t really comprehended the situation either so I didn’t want to escalate. He was very proud of himself when he left because she smiled at him when prompted
Oh my gosh so proud of you for just ignoring him! It would have been so hard for me not to say anything but it definitely would have made the situation worse. You see your teaching your daughter that it’s not worth responding to people like that. Good for you:heart:(doesn’t mean it’s not still going to bug you though, but you should feel really proud of how you handled it)
Hey, don’t feel stupid. You’re back here, right? You want to feel better and enjoy your life. We all have tripped and fell many times on the path to a sober life. One day at a time, you keep at it.
All I can say is what worked for me, and you sound like your in a similar boat to me with similar triggers and interests.
I read some books, ‘quit lit’, and really prepared myself mentally for what was going to happen when I stopped drinking. I knew if I walked through my door without a plan to stay sober or without being prepared for how I was going to feel going without alcohol, I was just going to drink. And the first few days, weeks are the toughest. Mentally it’s tough, I literally had to take it in baby steps, get myself home, shower myself, feed myself, put myself to bed with a movie and maybe a snack, treat myself as kindly as possibly while my brain and body got used to not having alcohol. When I felt super sad, or restless, I took myself for a walk even though I didn’t want to, just to feel the sun and bring on some good chemicals in my brain from a bit of exercise. I took myself to the ocean/the pools and floated in the water on the afternoons I normally wanted to go to the pub, I really didn’t want to but I knew I’d feel better afterwards. And I did.
Quitting is going to be hard, you’ve got to be prepared for it to suck for a little bit, but it’s going to feel so much better once you accept that your life sucks with alcohol in it. Drinking doesn’t feel good overall. Be prepared, be kind to yourself, after a bit you might feel like picking up those hobbies, finding time in the garden and cooking again. But for the first few days just take it easy and a little bit at a time. Remember after work your going to be hungry, tired, these are triggers for you so try just tend to yourself, eat some dinner, have a nice bath or something.
And don’t be a stranger, reach out here. Anytime, just write it out if you feel like drinking, you might feel less like a drink once you’ve vented here and spoken to someone about how your feeling. This place has always been so helpful for me, in staying sober and feeling connected.
Welcome back
It’s scary, I’ve spent long periods of time sober too, and have done just what you described. Dipped my toes in the pool of drinking again, and tumbled straight into the trap.
I’ve done it really slowly, so slowly I barely realised I was in the trap again so it took a long time to dig myself out again.
And ive fallen head first into the drinking pool and jumped out, all shakey and confused wondering what the hell I was thinking.
And the funny thing is, I know better. But ive done it for about ten years now.
I guess like you said our consistent theme here, is alcohol will destroy us. Quickly, or slowly, any amount.
I’m with ya, I can relate .
I hope this last slip has reminded you that being sober is a joy you want to stay with for good. I’m glad you’re back
Finally caught up on all the posts from 42 since I left on my vacation! It only took me 3 days haha, I’m about a third of the way through 43, I will finish that tonight when I have my me time in the backyard. Until then… @planipennia Thanks, I’m glad I made it too. I don’t fly that often so I’m still a wiener about it lol @DLS Man, flying is really stressful lol. I heard that the first 5 mins and the last 8 mins are the most dangerous times in flight so I’m constantly telling myself 5 up 8 down 5 up 8 down, and looking at my watch lol, in a weird way it kinda helps hahaha @maxwell Omg we could be twins in the klutz game. On vacation, within a 24 hour period, I walked into a trailer hitch, full stride, took me all the way out now I have a goose egg monster sized bruise above my right knee, and gravel holes in my other knee. Then I was trying to hoist myself up out of the water onto a little pontoon fishing boat, damn near sliced the whole tip of my toe off, still couldn’t get on the boat and had to swim back to shore with this skin flap on my toe… like nemo’s weird little flipper… and then somehow (thinking a dog rubbed up against me) I got poison oak… and its ALL on the same leg lolol. Drunk or sober, I’m graceful like a gazelle hahaha. But I hope by now that you are feeling at least a little better. @bluekoolaid good luck on your next adventure home man, I’m a little bummed I never got to see you play guitar! I haven’t been downtown/4th for a long time… I’m assuming that’s where you would have been able to play to the masses lol. I would love to read that story about Tucson sometime, but I agree, we need more clouds and rain haha. @JB.5280 Send me some of that cold weather! Its already over 100 degrees where I live lolol @cjp I love that, that’s how it felt for me. It just wasn’t working for me anymore, I love that I now have words to put to what I felt in the beginning of this journey. Happy to see you so excited about your new job! @dazercat I LOVE that saying, I feel like I need to share that with my mom, she is currently struggling with her sobriety a lot, and is currently decorating her ditch… @KatieO Welcome!!! Took me an embarrassing amount of time to figure out how to post lolol. I feel like I just replied to people all the time until I figured it out haha. @dansig What a great feeling, congrats to your kiddo for kickin butt!!
CONGRATS TO ALL THE MILESTONERS OUT THERE AS WELL!!! AMAZING JOBS ALL OF YOU!!!
I see soo many of you drinking sparkling water to help with those cravings, it’s literally the only thing that helps with my cravings so I’m glad I’m not alone lol
Started typing yesterday’s check in (yesterday was fine) but I got distracted and never finished. Nothing of note from yesterday.
My dog was in my bed last night (it’s a twin mattress and she’s about 60 pounds so very little room) which means I didn’t actually get any good sleep until she got out of my bed at about 6. So I ended up sleeping till noon. Still really tired, had some really bad nightmares, and I woke up with a headache. Other than that I’m ok. My friends are all busy today but I’m ok with just relaxing and coloring and playing games tonight anyway.
Tomorrow I have therapy and one of my cousin’s graduations to go to. Not looking forward to it. He’s fine and all, he’s just not around much and he didn’t go to my graduation. It’s mostly the fact that his high school’s graduation for last year took around 5 hours. And his last name starts with an O so we have to wait quite a while even if we all leave right after he’s called. But everyone wants to take pictures with him too. My mom is forcing me to dress nice and wear at least a little bit of makeup. I can tolerate that, but just the concept of sitting next to my family for so long not doing anything else to distract myself isn’t fun. I think I might just be on my phone the whole time. maybe that’s rude, but I do not have the ability to sit there and do nothing for that long without my mind going bad places. Might cause drama but I don’t care.
Day 18-
Long day today….hmmmm…I’m bored. Boredom is a drag. It causes one to think about drifting away. Just staring out the window like my golden retriever. I missed my daily check in with my sponsor. I feel bad about this…huh. It rained today, so I neglected to go on my walk. So, I guess I have been pretty “unproductive” today. At least, I have stayed sober. Tomorrow is another day. I have an interview tomorrow afternoon (yes!). I’m getting into the groove of interviewing. It takes work! Geez…oh well. Appreciate reading everyone’s posts.
On the turntable…
Vince Guaraldi Trio
“A Boy Named Charlie Brown”
Fantasy Records
2021
Its so easy to take a drink. It only takes a moment. Once we take that drink everything changes in that moment.
We don’t notice that in the moment. We don’t want to. We want alcohol to work for us. That’s all we want to see.
My perception became distorted Immediately. Alcohol lying to me, me lying to myself. Everything I thought I knew about recovery was gone. Alcohol was doing my thinking now.
It manipulated my thinking. It kept me disconnected from support. It discredited my support.
It magnified anything negative about recovery. It denied everything good about recovery. It told me my sober time was a complete waste of time. It told me I would never do that again. It took away nearly ten years of work all in a moment.
I wasn’t even drunk yet. I hadn’t finished my first beer.
I question everything I thought I knew about recovery before. Most of its good. Good information, and practices.
It’s nice to reflect back on previous milestones and remember the freedom I had as I grew in recovery before.
I’ve found that I cannot rely on those experiences. I have to do it all over again. I have to do the work in order to get the growth today.
I have recently become more willing to do more things that I haven’t been willing to do.
I am my biggest obstacle. I constantly remind myself.
I’m still scared shitless of losing myself in a moment. I have to remain willing to go to any length to prevent that from happening ever again.
1 month down, a lifetime to go. Feeling grateful and excited about this life. Going to play some golf with a sober buddy to celebrate! Much love yall, one day at a mother’s fuckin time!
@JennyH ffs, who smiles at the chemist? I loathe it when people make those kind of comments for a myriad of reasons. Brush it off
And about ur health worker . My daughter still needs cuddling to sleep at 9. As almost all Japanese children do. And they sleep alone just fine later. @mno “human fossil”
Day 95… I’ve been feeling sick since Sunday and I took an at home COVID test and it was negative however today i just felt really bad and I decided to take a rapid at urgent care and it was positive . Please keep me in your prayers as I sit home alone for the next week.
(doesn’t mean it’s not still going to bug you though, but you should feel really proud of how you handled it)
.
. My daughter still needs cuddling to sleep at 9. As almost all Japanese children do. And they sleep alone just fine later.
Just kidding.
. Please keep me in your prayers as I sit home alone for the next week.