@JennyH wow! People are so bonkers sometimes. My daughter is super shy too and our girls should never feel “obligated” to smile at anyone. This old school mentality has to go! And laying it on you and your parenting!? I would have flipped out!!! You are doing a great job, mama. Hang in there!
3 Likes
Oh thank you so much, you are so right about girls being obligated to smile. Noone has ever said that to my equally shy son. I am feeling better now. It was the first time I have had my parenting openly commented on negatively since the health visitor said I was “cruel” for letting my son sleep in our bedroom at a year 
Apparently he would never adjust if not moved to his own room early. I can confirm that at 12 he is in his own room and adjusted fine. You are right, some people are bonkers!
5 Likes
Welcome back my friend. You’ve been missed. By many. By me not in the last place. It’s good to see you. Hope you’ll hang around. Hugs and love.
5 Likes
All I have to say is what a ding-dong. People really should mind their own business. And yes, it’s easy to think we should just ignore it and not let comments like that bothers us but it would bother me too. Especially when all we do as mothers is try to be the best that we can because we love our children with all our hearts and he has no idea of the situation!! Sorry there’s such stupid people in the world 
4 Likes
Welcome back 
.
3 Likes
Oh thank you, I kept giving myself a talking to about ignoring it, but think unfortunately I needed to sit with it. Thank you for being so kind and listening to me.
1 Like
Yeah I think it’s okay to let things like that bother us as long as we can acknowledge that it bothers us and then remind ourselves that it’s their issue not ours. Probably part of the reason it bothers you so much too is because you’re worried about how your daughter is affected by it. I’ll tell you one thing though I think kids are a lot more resilient and it’s a good opportunity to show your daughter that it’s okay to let things bother you without acting out in the situation. If it was me I probably would have said something really snarky back. How did you handle it when he said that?
2 Likes
Welcome back, @M-be-free49. Glad you’re here!
Hey @JennyH that would definitely have bothered the hell out of me if I heard some old guy say that to my daughter. Sorry you had to deal with that.
3 Likes
I think you are right, I am outraged on her behalf. We were standing there minding our own business. The woman in front of us was ranting at the pharmacist so it was hardly a “fun” situation to be smiling.
I was very friendly to him before that and then just turned and ignored him. I was genuinely shocked and didn’t trust myself to say anything. My daughter hadn’t really comprehended the situation either so I didn’t want to escalate. He was very proud of himself when he left because she smiled at him when prompted 
4 Likes
Thank you, everyone is so kind, making me feel a lot better 
1 Like
Oh my gosh so proud of you for just ignoring him! It would have been so hard for me not to say anything but it definitely would have made the situation worse. You see your teaching your daughter that it’s not worth responding to people like that. Good for you:heart:(doesn’t mean it’s not still going to bug you though, but you should feel really proud of how you handled it)
1 Like
Thank you so much
Somehow this makes me think of Bruce Forsyth and his “give us a twirl.” Human fossil. He’s not worth your attention. Good on you Jenny.
1 Like
It’s so nice to have you back!
5 Likes
Hey, welcome back! You were missed!
4 Likes
Aw, you are all making me teary! I have done a lot of crying lately about the wreck of things, and here I am now - at my desk crying happy tears because of all your words and kindness.
Never trading this community for alcohol again. 
17 Likes
Hey, don’t feel stupid. You’re back here, right? You want to feel better and enjoy your life. We all have tripped and fell many times on the path to a sober life. One day at a time, you keep at it.
All I can say is what worked for me, and you sound like your in a similar boat to me with similar triggers and interests.
I read some books, ‘quit lit’, and really prepared myself mentally for what was going to happen when I stopped drinking. I knew if I walked through my door without a plan to stay sober or without being prepared for how I was going to feel going without alcohol, I was just going to drink. And the first few days, weeks are the toughest. Mentally it’s tough, I literally had to take it in baby steps, get myself home, shower myself, feed myself, put myself to bed with a movie and maybe a snack, treat myself as kindly as possibly while my brain and body got used to not having alcohol. When I felt super sad, or restless, I took myself for a walk even though I didn’t want to, just to feel the sun and bring on some good chemicals in my brain from a bit of exercise. I took myself to the ocean/the pools and floated in the water on the afternoons I normally wanted to go to the pub, I really didn’t want to but I knew I’d feel better afterwards. And I did.
Quitting is going to be hard, you’ve got to be prepared for it to suck for a little bit, but it’s going to feel so much better once you accept that your life sucks with alcohol in it. Drinking doesn’t feel good overall. Be prepared, be kind to yourself, after a bit you might feel like picking up those hobbies, finding time in the garden and cooking again. But for the first few days just take it easy and a little bit at a time. Remember after work your going to be hungry, tired, these are triggers for you so try just tend to yourself, eat some dinner, have a nice bath or something.
And don’t be a stranger, reach out here. Anytime, just write it out if you feel like drinking, you might feel less like a drink once you’ve vented here and spoken to someone about how your feeling. This place has always been so helpful for me, in staying sober and feeling connected.
7 Likes
For all of those who have relapsed, it is better to be here, again. It is difficult to accept failure, but it is part of live.
This is my two relapse after more than one month. But I will still continue and going to AA.
This was my first day again but relapsing do not prevent me to recover my dignity and being who I really want and should be.
We can do this! One a at time.
22 Likes
Welcome back 
It’s scary, I’ve spent long periods of time sober too, and have done just what you described. Dipped my toes in the pool of drinking again, and tumbled straight into the trap.
I’ve done it really slowly, so slowly I barely realised I was in the trap again so it took a long time to dig myself out again.
And ive fallen head first into the drinking pool and jumped out, all shakey and confused wondering what the hell I was thinking.
And the funny thing is, I know better. But ive done it for about ten years now.
I guess like you said our consistent theme here, is alcohol will destroy us. Quickly, or slowly, any amount.
I’m with ya, I can relate 
.
I hope this last slip has reminded you that being sober is a joy you want to stay with for good. I’m glad you’re back
12 Likes
Day 58- checking in.
Almost the weekend. Looking forward to some time away from work. Hope you all have a great day.
Thanks for being here
25 Likes