Evening Check in
Day 101
Had a productive day over all. Got all the laundry done, bed sheets washed, dishes amd other cleaning done. Only had 1 cup of coffee this morning. Still felt tired but I’m hoping my energy naturally improves. Had a really emotional evening though. All started with the sound of a lawn mower (believe it or not). Diff pieces of memories from my childhood were flooding my mind. They were all good things as a child. I cried. I texted my mom to tell her how much I missed her and my family and how awesome of parents they were. We had alot of dysfunction in our home… so much so that I couldn’t wait to move out. But they tried the best they can and with what they had and with the knowledge they had. Things are much diff now. Anyway I needed my mom to know that. Then I got on my knees by my bed and surrendered everything to my HP. Bcuz I need and want that connection with God so bad. I can’t do this life thing being clean and sober on my own haha. We had pizza 
and hubby and I are relaxing. Nice evening! Speaking of pizza:
There it is. Milestone. No ODAAT until the next one. Have a good night everyone. Stay strong stay sober you are not alone in this.
Day 18
I am so pleased to be back on here and focused. I will work hard today and write my journal later.
This weekend i will get up early each day and go for a long coast walk
I will also tidy the garden and ring my parents. Have a good day folks
Day 222 AF
Feeling a little out of it today. Just got back from a skateboard cruise.
Proud of everyone on here. Yall have a good night. Stay safe and take care.
@Misokatsu
こんにちは。日本には、いかがですか。
また日本語をしています。日本へ行きたいですが、また無理たとおもいます。
いま、italkiで、日本語のせんせいがいます。
漢字いつも難しいです！
I hope that I haven’t made too many mistakes…
I’m so happy for you Brian. You keep showing us how to do the next right thing. I think the way you’ve done everything is amazing. First the Booze. Congratulations on over 1000 days. I must of missed your 1000 days post. Then the drugs, then the nicotine, now the gambling. One step at a time. Now getting ready to move into your own place. Gratitude every day and meetings. And your HALT thread. You’ve been a great example for all of us to follow on here. You just keep doing the next right thing. You’re going places.
I’m very proud of you.
And I’m so excited to continue to watch your progress.
I hope all goes well tomorrow.
Good morning, everyone, I hope that you are all well and having a good day.
Over here in Italy, all is well, it will probably be pretty warm today (not that that’s much of a surprise).
Work is going well enough, nothing too exciting as far as that goes.
Now that Covide seems to be waning, I’m HOPING that interpreting jobs will start coming up again, but in the meantime… I’ll just keep on keeping on.
Anyway, have a good and sober day, everyone… I’m on 11.5 days… next target, a fortnight !
Yes, I agree about downtown being full of bullshit lol. But I rarely ventured to the East Side. I’m near the UA campus. I would love to hear your music! That’s funny, I usually sit on my computer and listen to music as I catch up and right now I’m listening to “The Man Who Sold The World” -Nirvana lol. So I think I will dig your sound hahaha. I’ve always wanted to learn how to play guitar, but I’m not coordinated enough. I played Tenor Sax for a really long time, love Jazz… Haven’t picked up my sax in like 6 months, but its been like every 6 months for years and years lol. My embouchure is shit, as well as my tone quality now, I sound like a 4th grader haha I think about getting it going again, but I dunno. Someday I’ll make the time for it.
Glad your here. I’m fairly new here (joined the end of March) and I can relate to your post. Thanks for your honesty
Yeah, it’s way better.
Everything in my life is way better. My whole life I ran away from feeling anything… even good things. Which is so backwards because half the time I was doing drugs that made me feel euphoric but it wasn’t mine. It wasn’t authentic euphoria… it didnt come from inside me. So now everything I do I am present for. I can feel the heat of the campfire because I am not thinking about getting another beer or whether I am going to run out of drugs before the end of the weekend. I can listen to the words of the person sharing a story with me because I am fully there, body, mind and spirit. It took me awhile to get where I am in my recovery but I wouldn’t change this for the world and I wish I could give people a taste of it so that they knew what they were holding on for. It’s that much better than being high, feeling your feelings is that much better than running away. It’s all so much better.
I ran out of likes… I still had so much to catch up on that I learned that I can run out of likes 
Checking in rounding off day 40! That’s a full time work week people! I’ve been sober for a whole weeks paycheck without overtime! And it feels pretty GotDamn good. My vacation was exactly what my soul needed, I thanked my cousin for getting married bc that was the push I needed to go visit that part of my family that I just feel so at home with. I was surrounded by beauty, love, family that loves you for who you are no matter what, and just pure uncut peace!!! The family I have in town are pretty much just people that exist… we are not close and they kinda suck… My step mom especially is a dumpster cunt from the depths of hell, but thats another chapter for another day 
.
Hard to keep that joy tho with the latest school shooting. Sending hugs and love to the victims and their families. Its fucking awful. It scares me bc I have a kiddo that goes to a smaller school like that… This world is scary. None of it is ok. I wish I could go back to the peace I had in the beginning of the week. But I will not drink. Shit… I can’t be drunk if something happens…
Stay sober friends, it’s the best chance we have at survival!
@Butterflymoonwoman Yo! Congrats on 100 days! You fucking got your triple digits! Amazing job 
I takes courage to come back, courage to really face it. It’s hard I know it is, like you mentioned I was there as well. 5 years sober and thought I was cured. I recognize the struggle so much wich you referred at:
I did that dance for more then a year, I think 1,5 year Emm 
But the good part of this is Emm, we still have our toolbox and we know how to do it because we did it before. That’s why you are here, you know what you need to succeed: people who get’s it to talk to. So welcome back lady!! Open up that toolbox of yours and use the stuff that works earlier. I for me found the second time easier to become sober. I was less insecure about it. I knew what to expect and what to do.
More then 3 years sober now and 10 years into recovery. Those 500 days of yours are not gone Emm, they are forever part of your recovery!!
Glad to have you back here!! 
Welcome back.
今日はあついですね😥。
メッセージのいみが分かりますよ。
さいきん、italkiを使っていません。また、がんばらなければなりません。
いい週末を😄！
1084
Coffee. The countdown to the start of my new job feels like it has begun (June 1) and I’m getting a bit anxious. Not much I can do right now though. And looking forward to it too. Finally going back to work in addiction care, 15 years after I went to nursing school with the aim of doing just that. Life is what happens while making other plans.
I did plan being sober and clean though, and I made it happen too, as my life with booze and drugs was a dead end street and I knew it. As it is for us all, or we wouldn’t be here. We do it together. Have as good a day as you can friends. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come of it. Love from Museumplein.
Such an inspirational journey Brian. You show us all how it’s done. One day at a time, small steps, steady progress wirthout perfection. You’re showing it and you’re doing it. All success to you on this new stage in your journey. Love and respect friend.
Day 56
I had successes that felt nice and got reminded in reflecting on reactionary fails to breathe, wait and count to 20 as well today. It was a great day generally, I regret several parts however.
Returned to journaling after 9 days hiatus to process the regret before internalizing occurs; great help, making sure going forward not to skip more days for that one.
Med boost went well
One day at a time seems realistic for me as the right thought process for the best results. The futurevision method is terrible long term, personally. No present tense that way. Not saying goals aren’t great but I only existed forward with no foot in the moment. I’m happier facing every moment at it’s turn I’ve noticed
Have a great night all!
#Day 1346 
Day 1 no sugar
The healing from post operation inflammation is slooooowww…But not feeling sick from it anymore, so no fever.
As you know is miss my healing walks so here’s an old picture from an encounter during one of them.
I do not miss the drinking though! My body needs all his energy right now to heal. So I’m happy to not drink, smoke ore do drugs.
And if I can cut out the sugars I will be happy too. But every day I eat less sugar is a win!
Happy friday!
On first glance I thought, what’s that deer doing under water? 
Great pic Claudia. Have a good relaxing recovering rehabilitating day friend.
Just a foggy morning, but I understand what you are saying and thank you Menno!
Wish you a good day yourself 