Hey guys. So I relapsed again yesterday. Don’t what is happening but its been a very rough week for me.
I did not want to checkin but I need to stay accountable to you guys. I feel that I have been taking you for granted as I have been missing several checkins. I just want to let you guys know that I am so grateful to be here. You helped me gain confidence in attempting to quit PMO.
Being here helped me surpass the 1 month mark so easily which was very difficult for me.
I am trying to learn from this week, journaling also. I took inspiration from you guys to not give up. So thank you.
I will not be a victim of life. I chose to do PMO even if it is painful to accept that decision. And that gives me control for my decisions.
I will give it all to make the decision to stay sober everytime I am faced with difficulty.
So many examples on here about the power never giving in and working with others can have. Nobody got here by accident and nobody got sober by accident. Keep doing the things that work but as you have just relapsed re evaluate what does and doesn’t work. The Definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting a different result.
Morning Check in Day 103
Morning TS fam! Happy Saturday! I have a hell of a lot of catching up to do on here. Really, really hoping everyone is good! It’s been a busy couple of days. I’m not working today cuz hubby has to tattoo so I get to do some shopping and relax. Only have to work tomorrow which is kind of nice. I’m slowly getting my motivation and energy back. I’ve really been trying to cut back on the caffeine. But my eating hasnt been the greatest I’m excited to be getting back to the gym tho on Monday. My back is feeling better. I think I was using too much weight and putting too much pressure on my back. I know now tho. And recovery wise, things are good! I do have the odd urge to use but I look at where my life is today and I don’t want to lose it. And I know that if I use any substance, it goes all downhill real fast!
Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
Hugs
That’s great to hear my friend, and I believe you’ve got this !
Did you know Virgil started at my hometown FC ? As did Robben , against we go I’ve played when I was like 8 years old… And believe me… The young bastard was already fast back then
Here I’m in recovery mode of operation nr ? But they did a great job and it seems I can start looking forward.
I’ll get you up to speed somewhere in the comming days but I did have to reset my cigarettes and prescription drugs… But he , that’s life. I also had a couple of suicidal episodes and atm I’m just struggling to get it all together and try to get my body in good health and it troubles me that I can’t really take care of my body the way I want and should but thanks to @DLS and @Mno amongst others I found my way back to the ts forum because I couldn’t find the courage to get back due to a feeling that I let people down by just disappearing and in my depression just shutter down all contacts, also in my personal life.
Now loneliness and isolation is still a bit of a bitch but I’m crawling out.
More to come , and I will root for the reds as well tonight
My day just got a bit better by your post and @LaDyLooNtje 's one also !
The rest of the team sucked but we did actually lose because of …
And ten years later, in hindsight it all made sense…
Your definitely right about the funny part this gringo ginger soccer player just looked like a turtle with no sun protection factor “go-go-gadget lobster allert 100”
Congratulations on your 12 days AM
I hope you’re able to come out on top of those 2 events today. Let go and Let God. And breathe.
I love that intense screen shot you got there. Beautiful.
Freaking amazing.
Thanks so much, I’m glad to be here. I’m sure not having this community would’ve led to my detriment and I’m happy to have leaned into it this time around
Are you going to watch the match tonight? It was so unfair that Feyenoord had lost. Really depends on the referee (scheidsrechter). They played a really good game
We are having the craziest weather here ! The other day, we had a daytime storm that turned the sky black, rain, hail…
And tonight, crazy lightning !! I tried to upload a short video clip, but the system won’t let me.
Is that normal ?
In any event, I’m off to bed, though I suspect that this isn’t going to be a very restful night if this keeps up !
13 days now…
Goodnight, all.
Morning Check in 
I’m excited to be getting back to the gym tho on Monday. My back is feeling better. I think I was using too much weight and putting too much pressure on my back. I know now tho. And recovery wise, things are good! I do have the odd urge to use but I look at where my life is today and I don’t want to lose it. And I know that if I use any substance, it goes all downhill real fast!
this gringo ginger soccer player just looked like a turtle 
with no sun protection factor “go-go-gadget lobster allert 100”
