Cheking in at the end of day 43. Had a lazy day today with the boyfriend. Didn’t have anything planned for the holiday weekend. We stayed in bed all day just napping on and off lol. It was nice. I did manage to make a yummy breakfast at like 2 this afternoon, then we made steaks at like 930 lol. Good easy day.
My best friend called me this evening tho, her husband had decided his drinking was a problem too, and he had 12 days. His family is in town, and when they all get together they drink. I know he struggled with his decision for at least 24 hours before he decided to go get some beers and do it up with his fam. She was really upset and crying, she had been drinking too so her emotions were high. But she took it rally personal, like she feels like she can’t trust him anymore. Which I can see why she would want to feel that way, but told her in no way was his decision a personal attack on her. HE struggles with triggers everyday, he won yesterday, today he didn’t, tomorrow he may win again. I suggested that she look into Al-Anon, and go to sleep. Have a sober conversation with her husband tomorrow. I had spoken with him before about his decision to quit and he seemed really excited. I have faith that he will get back on track soon enough.
Have a goodnight all!
Hi Jenny how are you today? I just read your post about your 2nd day. I’m sorry it happened this way. Do you allready have more clarity about what went wrong?
congratulations and well done.
Relationship and sobriety can be hard work I believe- regardless if you are married or not I think.
I am not sure if this helps anyone but I kept telling myself that whenever I felt stuck and had negative thoughts re my relationship that
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Feelings are not permanent and
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Pleasure is something anyone can give you, but true love, companionship and pleasure from this one person is so hard to find.
To me it put things into focus. But that might just be me! Keep going!! 
Yes! That is exactly it. I am so unsettled. Thanks so much for replying.
1087
Coffee. Feeling a whole lot better than yesterday at this same hour. It was nice to have friends over for dinner. It’s nice my house looks a whole lot cleaner and more cleared. The sun is shining outside.
Meeting another friend, a girl I know from nursing school, for coffee this morning. Meeting her some months ago played a great role in me finally picking up the courage to give my notice at my old job and find a new one in addiction care. My nursing job in detox starts Wednesday. Excited about that!
What doesn’t and won’t change is me being sober and clean, because that’s the basis for all the rest. Without that I’d never been able to change anything at all. One day at a time. Have as good a week as you can all. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come of it. We’re on this journey together. Big love.
@JennyH I’m glad you’re here Jenny. Life long learning is what me must do to make anything out of life. One day at a time. Hugs.
Another morning I have awoken to, another day to be thankful for what I have. My life, my family, my pride and my sobriety.
Time May take the first two but only I can lose the others. I have my gift of sobriety and I have my pride. Never have I felt them intertwine more.
Part of me wants to share my story, another part of me is too scared to open this up so soon. I may look and act strong on the outside but I have a vulnerability in me that I must protect.
I have not done any group sessions and so far my sobriety has been done alone. For a long time I forgot who I actually was. I’m fortunate enough to come from a Town known for history’s greatest soldiers and I am very proud of the history of my town and my country of origin. However, this is a town my family left when I was young, I spent my younger years in Perth, Australia and then moved to Manchester, England as a young teen and here I have lived ever since. I forgot or as is more likely lost who I was through my addiction!
My wife found this app and forum for me, having seen me starting to struggle on my own, she reminded me of my roots and that a Spartan’s strength is not in himself but in the others around him.
So here I am, I will share my story eventually, I just need some time to build trust in my new surroundings. Everything I have seen so far leads me to believe this is a good, strong and positive place.
I hope you all have a strong day!
I strongly believe that the most important thing by far I learned on my clean and sober journey is that I can’t do it alone. I tried that for 50 years and it got me nowhere. Literally nowhere. Together we have a good chance. We still need to do the work ourselves but we find strength, support, love, persistence in and with each other. Glad to have you aboard Ares! Take your time. Stay sober. Have a good sober day!
Good morning everyone, I hope that you are all well today.
Over here in northern Italy, the weather is actually quite nice. We had had quite a few days of really hot weather, but then an amazing lightning storm seemed to burn off some of that heat, so now it is much more pleasant.
Work is going alright, though not quite as busy as I would hope. Still, it’s Monday (firstly) and the end of the month (secondly) so I can’t say that I’m all that surprised.
In other news, I passed the 14-day mark last night, so I’m quite pleased about that. Tonight will be a fortnight.
I hope that everyone has a nice and sober day today.
#Day 1349 
Had a good day yesterday: walked, cooked a meal. Little things, but big steps for now.
Tomorrow I’m going to visit work to talk, catch up a bit and drink a coffee. Looking forward to it.
I have the big luck that next sunday starts my 1 week holiday. So I have another week to gain strenght before finally go to work.
Booked a hotel in Germany for a few days. Hope I can do short walks 
We’ll see 
Picture from my today walk. Some “Gewone Margriet” / “Oxeye Daisy”.
And now coffee and relax!
Let’s make this ordinary day a special one, a good and sober one!
Thanks so much for replying, you are so kind 
I have had a lot on this week, our work is going through a consultation period (reduced pensions, redundancy etc.) and I was obviously stressed. I seem to be able to resist happy occasions now, but not the really stressful ones.
@siand nailed it when she said these relapses are almost more dangerous as now I am feeling like an imposter here as it wasn’t the “just one sip” narrative. I am sitting here absolutely fine and there were no immediate consequences of having a drink really. I do remember that dark place I was in, fighting urges constantly and daily drinking to cope with life though, and think that moderation is the path back there.
I am so grateful to everyone here for allowing me to talk and get through this. Thank you @Mno I do think this is going to be a learning experience.
I understand. I hope you see that it is very powerful that you are here again and that you are trying again. I am so proud of you! It’s very good of you that you realize what gives you stress.
Take this and the whole situation as a lesson that you struggle with these kinds of things so that you can handle them differently in the future 
I’m sure they’re proud. What a wonderful picture
Yeah that first drink will almost certainly lead to another which will lead to many many more. That’s what I’m so scared of.
@Cjp thank you for encouragement! another day has arrived - filled with opportunity. way.to.go: keep at it! 
Day 251 checking in need to keep it moving odaat 
Got busy last night and didn’t check in but I’m sober 17 days now.
Hey all, checking in on day 715. I hope everybody has a good one!
3 weeks today ! Yesterday was tricky as alot of people popped round for afternoon snacks and wine but i didnt join in. Today i am off for a week so have taken the dog on two long walks
Day 657
Husband was off today, so I got dinner prepared for me, and I could catch up with my Japanese book all ready for my book club. I am a member of an AA text group, new member slipped, random messages and calls all over the place. It was around 5 in the evening, it reminded me of the ‘get out of work, throw drinks down your throat’ malarkey I used to do. So effing glad to be out of it.
It’s 4:55 am. I just had a really fucked up dream about relapsing. Damn.