Thanks @Alycia - I really appreciate the checkin Thatās a friendly thing - youāre a helpful checkin friend for me
Today is going ok, I am tired so I am resting. My blood sugar is high today and I am tired as a result; it is slowing me down and I am not thrilled about that - but I am paying attention to my body and resting, and that is helpful.
Making friends is something Iāve worked on in my sobriety. It has taken some time; friendship grows like a garden, through shared experiences, ups and downs and healthy vulnerabilities. I have found the friends Iāve made have come mostly from paying attention to my gut - it usually tells me whoās a person I feel a synergy with - and then I take time to ask to have a coffee or take a walk.
I am not a big fan of large-group gatherings so my friend time is often forest walks and coffees. Sometimes just me and one other person, sometimes two or three (for example at a brunch).
One larger-group gathering I have found I love is murder mystery dinner parties. Thereās something about the narrative and the character that makes the interaction moreā¦ digestible maybe? Itās like a shared activity different than just navigating a group social space.
Today has been a bit of a non event really. I got up, had my morning dose of super high anxiety. Calmed down, worked and then had an evening in. I left the house today though and did some jobs which was important for my mood.
I think the main thing I am feeling today is emptiness. My kids are on half term holiday. They are at their Nanās this week followed by a camping trip so I will only see them tomorrow afternoon for a couple of hours. Without them around I feel empty and I have now realised my life is pretty empty without them.
I had to really think about that today and I decided I needed to be positive and proactive with this time. Whilst I canāt do what I want (see my kids) I can put the time to good use and start to put some things in place that are positive for the future. My life feels like a blank sheet of paper right now. Itās time to start writing on it, as scary as that may be.
I wanted to give you my support during this time of transition and challenge. You provide so much support to us here on the platform. You are a Leader and Inspiration for me. Thank you for everything you do. Your words mean a lot to me. You got this!
Hello, hope all is well, just logging in @ 739 days alcohol free ā¦. Going through a phase or thinking am missing out on all the fun, going out with some friends/work colleagues who actually feel like shite the morning after, but have good laughs about the night they had for days to come, I know the chat before I get to work, and just find it a bit hard as new I would be deeply involved in the banter and laughingā¦ā¦. There so many positives to take from my journey and change in life that totally out ways that night out ā¦. So yeah just thought I would share ā¦. Still going to stay strong and march on regardless as I know I am on the right path.
Cheers all and stay safe
Good to see you Will. Congrats on 739 ODAATs.
Donāt forget about those wonderful things you are not missing! To countless to list them. Hangovers and feeling like shit all the time is my big one. And I never have to worry if Iām to drunk to talk to my children.
Glad you checked in and are staying the course.
Getting close to 19 days. Just 4 hours away. I have been on prescription blood pressure medicine for almost a decade already since 26yo. I have been checking my blood pressure and weight since Starting my journey. I noticed my blood pressure getting low with my medication and not drinking. Today was the first day I didnāt take my medicine and I am way in normal range. (Donāt worry Iām monitoring morning and evening) I still have my medication but Iāll keep tracking for now. Anyway got a lot of yard work done today too. My weight is down 10 lbs probably mostly water retention. Fortunately for me I donāt have too big a sweet tooth although the first couple days I was definitely filling cravings with skittles and mike and Ikeās.
Checking in, 1994 days. I had a productive work day today and also met with my sponsor for step work. So a double-win. The teens are of course in their rooms with the doors closed again, sigh. Two more weeks of school and then they will be promoted from middle school. Hope everyone had a happy, sober day today.
Day 334 First time ever posting on this thread. Today was alright I guess, had some pretty bad cravings tho as my boyfriend was smoking the meth bong in the car right beside me. It doesnāt usually bother me, Iāve managed to stay strong this long while he uses in front of me everyday, however since my daughter has been in foster care this last month every now and again seeing him use is a trigger for me. But I always work through it. And itās not even like I would do it, I really in general have no desire to. My focus is on getting my daughter back however sometimes I just wish I had an escape from the pain Iām feeling. Keeping myself busy helps, but being a recovering addict living with an addict is quite hard sometimes. But Iām hopeful for the future and trying to stay positive
Good for you Lucy. Itās a tough journey sometimes especially when we feel alone like that.
Personally I found in my relationship that having support outside of it (through my sobriety group and here on Talking Sober) has helped me feel like I have somewhere and some people that understand.
Itās good to reach out - itās helpful. You have so much courage to be able to be honest with yourself about what you want, and what you need, and to go after that with determination. Keep it up, one day at a time
Checking in at the end of day 1. Today was a day of self care and emotion work. Rested - my body needed it - and spoke with my wife after dinner, about some deep concerns I had about our patterns of interaction. She seems to understand. I felt grateful about that; I felt appreciation. Itās a nice feeling.
I agree, she wasnāt taken because I live with him she is only 3 months, and when she was born I was told by cfs that I had to move in with my brother, so I did, and a month ago babe fell off the couch and they apprehended her because I chose not to take her to the hospital right away. Now Iām working to get her back. However I had no choice but to move back in with her father for the time being until I have enough for my own place. They wonāt give her back to me if we live together and Iām well aware of that. It will be a few months before I will be able to afford my own place tho, plus I have to continue doing drug tests which is fine and parenting classes ect
Thank you Matt , yes I have found this place to be quite helpful. I also have sober friends that help a lot. Iām still working on getting a good network of supports.
It takes time but itās worth it. Itās like building (or growing) anything Growing a garden takes time but when you put in the effort you get to harvest the rewards: fresh fruit & herbs
You can actually test positive on a drug test when spending time in the car with someone smoking meth. Reconsider being around your bf at all while heās smoking if youāre trying to get your baby back.
Checking in, finishing off day 45. Feeling pretty good. Bonus kiddos wanted to cook dinner tonight so the bf and I went for a swim and just hung out. Kiddos made tacos, and they were really good!! Nice to have the night off. Now Iām gonna go fold laundry and watch some TV til I go to bed. GN everyone
This might sound harsh and Iām sorry. Iām trying to be understanding
I read your reasons why youāre living with him but as someone who grew up with a meth addict step dad who traumatized theā¦heckā¦out of me, maybe you should consider the bigger picture of keeping him in your daughterās life long term. My husband and I are both victims of meth addicted parent trauma and violence. Weāre in our 30s and still processing through it. Sure he might change but do you need both of you to endure that problematic what if based on hope alone?
I hope things go okay for your situation for sure but just. Be careful with that is all
Good morning everyone, it looks as though itās going to be a pretty nice day here in Northern Italyā¦ though itās still pretty early, so weāll see how the day shapes up.
Iām still waiting on the papers that I need to move back to Switzerland, but Iām hoping that that will happen RELATIVELY quickly. After all, the administration in CH is nowhere near as slow and cumbersome as it is here in Italy.
Anyway, Iāll just have to wait and see what happens. In the meantime, I have a nice place to live, I have my electric scooter (one of those things that you stand on, Iām not sure what else to call it in Englishā¦ monopattino, in Italian), and things are calm.
Work isnāt too busy at the moment, but thatās okay, it gives me more time to work on my Japanese and Turkish.
16 days nowā¦ looking forward to the one-month mark !
Have a good day, everyone.
Thatās a friendly thing - youāre a helpful checkin friend for me 
