Congratulations on 2 weeks!
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I hope your ankle is okā„ļø
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Evening Check in
Day 107
Really had some time just to myself. It was brief but the quality of that time was there. I just needed to re-evaluate where Iām at. Iām seeing myself slacking and being complacent with my recovery related stuff and I sort of knew this for the past couple weeks. Tonight I realized how very crucial this stuff is. Iām not playing a game hereā¦ this isnāt sometimes to trial out or to see if I can manage without having to continue to do the work. I guess I just sort of realized once again how important this all is. My mind has always had an issue with remembering how truly brutal it was being in active addiction. Thatās my addictive mind working at its finest, trying to help me forget so that I donāt think it was THAT bad along with all the other lies it tells me. This literally is my life at stake. And I need/want to put that work in everyday. I certainly donāt want to do all this some days but I also know how damn sneaky addiction is. Iāve been playing this ridiculous game for decades and I know by now all the ways it tries to get me back (and honestly there is still new things it tries to bring up). I took a good long look at my recovery today, what Iām doing well, and what needs improvement. My meditation and mindfullness needs to be happening and my morning routine needs to get back on track. I also need to start up at the gym againā¦ even a couple days a week. My physical health is related to my mental health which effects my recovery also. My life has gotten busy being clean and sober. But I canāt forget the reason why my life is so good. Yes my life is busy but I have to make that time for recoveryā¦ otherwise relapse can happen and I lose it all. Addiction is serious and so is recovery (but we can have some serious clean and sober fun too 
). Anyway, those are my evening thoughts. Hope everyone is okay tonight!
Hugs TS fam!
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20 days. Still sober and alcohol free. I feel great. Been taking it a little distraction at a time. Have a great night all.
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Wow, Donna, two years! You are so amazing! So many congratulations for you! I am so happy for you!
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Congratulations on your 20 days.
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If you really want to be grateful that you are getting/already have gotten clean now, do some research on modern day Catastrophism. In such a case, provided you are one of the āluckyā ones to survive such a violent earth changing event, you wonāt be getting your DOC any time soon after that. Worse forced recovery ever. 
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Day 6.
Some big eurekas today, last night, as I work through this stuff. I think my last attempt at sobriety was good, well-intentioned etc, butā¦
I was still ashamed of this all, and I was hiding it.
Now? The telling of all of this (my addiction) to the non-addict people in my life? Itās made it real. I thought it would make them love me less and I readied myself for that.
They love me more.
Because I made myself vulnerable. I think thatās why. To me and to them.
Who cares why. I am me. An addict. Recovering. And - I am not ashamed of that.
Letās go get another one tomorrow, dear friends. 
@Mno You are nothing short of total inspiration. I love and admire you.
@icebear Yes, life is too short to squander our clarity! Also? I see so much of myself in your post. Lets ditch the shame, friend. Weāre here. Trying. Doing. Keep on, dear friend. I think your grandfather is mighty proud of you.
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There it is, the big 
for you!! 
Congratulations Donna! Hope you did treat yourself with something good.
Thank you for being around 
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Glad your first day at your new job worked out well @Mno . Donāt worry about being less outgoing, itās normal. Think about a new co worker who is very outgoing and pro active on his or her first day 
I would found that odd wouldnāt you? Take your time to adjust.
@anon53116147 I understand it will be hard to be away from your girls. But when we drink ore use we are not there for our children as well 
Proud of you Mike!
#Day 1352 
Went for a walk yesterday with my neighbour. She showed me her allotment garden. I hope this is the right translation for it. In Dutch itās called a āvolkstuintjeā. I do not know if itās typical Dutch. But itās a little piece of land you can rent on a bigger piece of property. The pieces of that land are all rented by people so you are gardening besides eachother. Hard to explain Itās a way to have a garden when you live in the city in a building without garden.
Picture from a poppy in such a beautiful warm red colour I saw there
There is a bee hiding itself for getting on my photo, spotted it?I wish you the best day you could have today!!
Ps update: the right word of such a garden is community garden I just have learned
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I am so frustrated, distraught, overwhelmed! My computer had a broken hinge and so I sent it in for repairs. I just got it back. They completely wiped my computer and I am having to reinstall everything! My software licenses werenāt properly shut down so the programs wonāt let me in. Itās a complete nightmare. And yet it didnāt even occur to me to drink! 
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1090
Coffee. First day off in my new job 
. Itās a beautiful day. Going for a little ride. Not sure yet with what purpose and what bike. Will have another coffee and think about it for a bit.
One thing is a no brainer for me these days. Iām remaining sober and clean. Just for today. Not going back there. Never again.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come of it. Love from Amsterdam. Pic is from my walk on Tuesday. Also Amsterdam.
@Kareness Oww that sucks big time Karen! Glad drinking is out of your system as a -fatally flawed- coping mechanism. Hope you got it all sorted out soon.
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Thank you so much! I am very happy with it and Iām very motivated to carry on 
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Wow! Amazing Donna, congratulations on hitting two years. Truly inspiring!
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Ahhhhh I so relate to this. On the rare moments that I would have my house completely child free overnight my mind would ātoyā with the idea of being sneaky because no one would have to know but in reality, it would only take me back to where I was trying and working so hard to getting away from. Too much to lose and nothing to gain!!!
I almost guarantee that you will feel empowered and proud of yourself getting through this time alone staying sober. Such a satisfying feeling to put that little voice back in its place
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Hiya, Dazercat, thank you and your spot on, the list is countless! Itās just a little phase which am sure will pass off soon 
how are you keeping? All good I hope
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Those are some really important thoughts you had there. And you are right in everything you say. How good of you to realize these things. With your post you immediately inspired me to improve my morning routine. Now that Iām not working, I notice that Iām less active and do less, especially in the morning. I think if I get off to a good start in the morning, it will give me energy for the rest of the day. Iām going to start now. Thnx Dana en goodluck you can do it donāt let that sneaky addiction lie to you
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@Its_me_Stella Couldnāt agree more with this, I went 26 months without touching a drop a few years ago, then thought it was ok and I could control the demon that lurked in the background, waiting like a true predator. So I got a drink, one became 2, 2 became more and more and more. Before I knew it this had become my life again and it took 3 years to get control of myself again enough to be able to stop again, only this time for good. I realised that alcohol has no place in my life. It simply canāt have a place because it destroys me. Itās toxic to me and toxic things are not welcome.
26th November I stopped, this was the day my daughter was born and also the day she was taken from us. Something happened that day that changed me forever, itās my go to thought when I struggle. I will share the reasons why when I am more comfortable here. (Not that Iām uncomfortable but itās just early days here for me).
On to lighter topics, itās another beautiful day here, another day to be thankful for. Another day to make memories. The start of a 4 day holiday weekendā¦ā¦except for the small thing getting in the way that is work, however, I still have time to make memories with my children before I go.
Off to the local park to play, walk the dogs and grab some treats at the park cafe (hot chocolate or fruit smoothie and muffins are calling). Followed by Snuggles on the sofa watching a film and playing games.
Stay sober everyone!
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@SoberWalker Its SO nice to see you back literally on your feet and out doing your normal stuff! You really suffered there for awhile. Glad it made the big turn around for you.
āCommunity gardenā may be the word youāre looking for. Usually the cost is not much and in some instances is even free.
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Iām glad I saw this today! Congrats!
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