Day 14 (Part 1) - An early check in today. I’m at home alone and the H, L and T parts of HALT are kicking me pretty hard.
Like everyone I have good days and bad days but the last couple have been pretty rough from a temptation perspective. I’m trying to be kind to myself and just rest. I have spent so long just pushing myself past the point I should (trying to be “enough”) so today I am steering against my usual behaviours. Breaking up the situation when temptation strikes. Resting and trying to just do one things at a time.
It’s good to be able to talk about this in a safe space. One thing at a time.
@Dazercat Eric!!! A huge happy 29 months my friend! I was excited to congratulate you today as you have worked so incredibly hard to get here! Hugs Eric!!! Thanks for being an amazing friend and an amazing support on TS!
Good morning TS. I’m still in bed wishing I didn’t have to get out because it’s so comfy here. I kind of just want to vegg out, watch TV, or think. I am so proud of myself only because I remember what rock bottom looked like…however, I’m still dissatisfied with myself in other aspects. I struggle with impostor syndrome and in huge part, I’m shocked I haven’t gone more self destructive mode and relapsed a long time ago. I feel like I’m in the phase of my life where I’m finally starting to accept the new me. The changed me. I’m at the demarcation line of leaving behind old Lashay and embracing new Lashay. New Lashay comes with greater responsibility. Will I be consistent enough for it all to stick? Who knows.
@Wakikki wow 5 months!! Great work Really excited for you! Yay!! @Staringupfromthewell congratulations to you also on 2 weeks! This is huge! 2 weeks for me was a huge milestone and I really hope u feel proud of yourself bcuz it IS alot of hard work. One day at a time
Gooood morning fam-dam checking in on day…
887 substance free
406 self-injury free
22 sugar-free
Heading out tonight to a show of some sort its a double date!!! It should be fun. Another couple from the program bought some extra tickets with us in mind, how sweet. I have no idea what genre of music… bluegrass I bet. Not really my thing but I can enjoy any tunes with good company. It will be nice to put on some make up and maybe a dress??? ( Probably not a dress that’s a bit of a stretch actually. )
Oh and I booked three tattoo appointments!!! I am finally getting my sleeve finish, it’s been a hot minute (7 years). Between moving, Covid, and the depths of active addiction I had to put a hold on it. Not anymore! I am hoping the artist can rework an awful fox I have on my forearm or at least make everything else so amazing the fox disappears into it. Lol
Congrats everyone on your recovery and on having the courage to face another day clean.
Thanks @Dazercat it feels good to reach another milestone. I think I need to actually celebrate these moments rather than just looking at what’s ahead.
I hope your double date goes well! Sounds like a lot of fun! And the tattoo… I can’t wait to see pics if ur up for sharing them once u get ur work done! It’s so nice how sobriety gives us these chances to have sober fun. There’s sooo much out in this world besides addiction. I often feel like a kid relearning the world! Haha hope u have an amazing day girl hugs
Starting day five here and feeling pretty good this morning. Heading out of town this weekend for a wedding and to visit family. Pretty sure I don’t want to have a drink at the wedding but hanging out with my sister will be a little tougher. Today I need to make a plan.
Feeling very optimistic as usual. A bit scared but that’s just the booze still in my brain. Excited already for day 4-5 when I get to think clearer again.
It took some time for me to get that feeling of excitement and pleasure to come back. I remember saying to my sponsor that if I never had to suffer or live in chaos again I would be ok giving up that feeling of excitement I got from doing risky things. She simply said, the excitement will return, you will see. It has, and it amazes me that I can now feel excitement without doing stupid shit! Why did I ever do stupid shit to get that endorphin rush… and I guess the answer to that is we become tolerant. The things we need to do become riskier and risker…
I am so glad we both have managed to survive the lives we have lead and that we get to really live now. Have an amazing day my friend.
Morning Check In Day 109
Feeling fabulous today! Really don’t have much going on except 1 errand to run and my morning routine. Feeling grateful today and really feeling present and in the moment right now. Grateful for my HP and for my recovery. And so happy to see the many milestones pop up on here! That makes my day! I really love TS and love u guys! I’ve made really good friends here and continue to do so everyday. I really don’t think I would’ve made it this far being alone in a province with no family or supports in it. So I definitly owe alot to u all!
Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
Really excited for you! Yay!!
I hope that I can build on this. One day at a time. Thanks for the support
Morning Check In 
