Missed a fair few check ins but still been logging on and reading through other people’s posts and experiences. Just starting to tackle some of my PTSD symptoms now that I’m not using alcohol to hide away from it. I finally feel capable of taking of taking it on!
Got out on the water today, which as ever was so good for my soul. Just hit another Milestone so many thanks to this community for helping me get there 
5 days complete. Looking forward to the weekend but also nervous. Weekends were the time I really drank a lot. Staying strong and going to check in all weekend.
Checking in day 4. Heading out on a trip. Focused - I know where I’m going and what I’m doing. Feeling good 
Take care all. One day at a time.
Checking in-Friday! Yes, well everyday is a Friday for me until I get a job. Took the pup out for a morning walk. Mornings have been really hard for me to wake up. But, I did it this morning! During our walk, my pup got a burst of energy 
and took off running. I still had my hands on his leash and as a result, I fell down like a blob scraping up my knee, toes and calf. I of course was wearing flip flops and so my gait was really off. Ouch! Stupid flip flops!
Going to hang tonight and chill. I’ve been a “Pantry Pirate” in the evening. This was when I would be drinking, so now, I’m snacking too much.
I bought the “Tapping Solution”” app today. My sweetheart suggested the app as a way to manage stress and anxiety. So far, so good. I have another friend who swears by the Tapping Method. I’ll give it a try….huh? I have the urge to drink…Awwww!!!
Going to go do something productive, plus I have to pick up my daughter from her work at the “Great Harvest Bread Company.”
On the turntable….
Baby Huey
“The Baby Huey Story: The Living Legend”
Curtom Records
1970
Style: Soul
Checking in, day 574 no alcohol. I’m feeling off and weak lately, probably will start psychotherapy again, this time focusing on addictions. I’ve just learnt that I most likely have ADD (without hyperactivity). It explains a lot of issues from my past and present and at least gives me a clue to oversee and know myself better.
80 days woohoo!
My grandparents visited and it was awesome! They helped me drive all around and look for apartments up in Colorado Springs. We gotta move by July 1st and are struggling to find anything. Wish us luck!!
Day 942 of not using!
Today I feel happy and motivated, lately I have been really discourged. I just moved to Texas about 3 months ago and I have yet to find a job. I have had few interviews with job offers but then no follow ups after the offer. Makes me feel self doubt. Then I have to remember that drowing in my own pitty isn’t going to get me anywhere. I have had 4 interviews in the last week and I am hopeful I will get one of these positions. I am currently also going back to school to get my degree to become an addiction counselor. It has been going great. I am not only doing all this for myself or my daughter but to be able to help others as ourselves that are still stuggling.
If you are ever feeling down I am a good listener to vent to with no judgement. I am always open to talk and will alway respond. and remember if you are having a bad day. Thats actually a good thing, you are feeling again. So feel out your emotions but don’t drown in them. Feelings are only temporary and everything will eventually pass. Stay strong my friends! We ALL got this!!! Day by Day! <3
Awesome news Mike! Thinking of you.
Hey everyone. Got busy yesterday but 10:30 pm last night I officially hit 3 weeks sober that big “21” that they always say is the habit forming timeframe. Well I don’t believe that. Anything can cause a slip up no matter how long. Today was especially tough for a bit and it was the first trip to a grocer that sells alcohol and past two liquor stores alone. All alone and I managed to come out on top. The going to store wasn’t why it was tough it was just some other stuff going on that I could feel myself wanting to slip away and avoid conflict. Well either way it’s strange that we anticipate that big ol 21st birthday like it’s socially engrained into us from a young age. For me I was drinking at 14 and my parents allowed it even laughed the first time I slept with the porcelain goddess. I won’t put my kids through that.
Day 25. Just got done with a good workout and now going to watch some Stranger Things and relax. Starting to realize sobriety is all about mindset. Keep your mind going and active so you don’t fail to think about partying and drinking. Hope everyone has had a great and blessed week!
Day 94 of no self harm.
I’m alive and safe. That’s all I really have going for me at the moment. My birthday coming up always sends me into a spiral like this. It’s just another reminder that I’m still a disaster after all this time. I just really need this job to start so I have something to work on to keep me busy.
Day 90
Cooked for the first time in a while. Baked cookies that are ok, good with coffee.
Watched the entirety of “Little Fires Everywhere”
Watercolor paint - finished some abstract pieces.
Ive lost about 2 weeks of wages because of this sprained ankle.
Lots of seltzer.
Still dont think i have my brain fully back. All i can do is continue each day and try.
Made it to the end of my trip: 5 hours driving (and listening to some good audiobooks 
- probably my fave part of driving actually). Tomorrow I’m attending a conference with a good friend. I like these kind of meaningful events. I find them fulfilling. They take prep for sure and they take time but man it feels nice.
Then back into the rhythm of life when I’m done here. I’m learning to dance that: project / event, process / rhythm. We have one time things in life but the growth, the learning, the evolution: that’s a process. So I need to be just as aware of the processes in my life as I am of the projects.
@Alycia totally get it about the social hunger. For me I had to re-examine my whole sense of “how to hang around other humans and what that looks like” when I started my sober journey. What I have now feels fulfilling and it is the result of social experiments I’ve been doing, who I feel comfortable with and where. Keep experimenting and be gentle and forgiving with yourself, and you’ll find spaces that feed your desire to connect.
@michaeljlogan74 Ouchie about that dog running off and you scraping your leg. I’ve had family members pull muscles and twist joints in similar situations. It hurts! Good on you for the snacking and the soul music. Both of those feed the soul. They also are safe and legal - and that’s a sober trick: you’re allowed to do anything that’s safe and legal, to maintain your sobriety. It’s that simple. Keep it up brother, one day at a time
@Tomek welcome to the ADD club! Come on in, it’s a good place to be. You’ve got a race car brain that’s living in a non-race-car world, which is a weird experience; but now that you are aware, you can choose your spaces and your interactions to help you be your full, unique, strong self. Rob started a thread recently you might find interesting: ADD/ADHD diagnoses at a later age
Take care everyone. You belong and you matter
Day 674
Forcing myself to take it easy but getting restless. Crutches make getting around so slow. I miss my long meandering morning walks. Grateful the pain has still been minor today, Trying to remember to take it one day at a time. Looking forward to being able to take off the bandages tomorrow and take a look at how things are healing.
Evening Check In
Day 109
Busy day. Hubby and I got new phones eith new contracts. Actually ended up saving money on our phone bills. Not much but maybe $40. Had to log into TS and set my clean time counter for drugs/alcohol and smoking and had to go back to find my quit dates lol. Anyway, all is well. Got to see the movie setup for the Last of Us. Cool cars!
Hi Jenny, great to see you back at 7 days and are feeling strong. I too am feeling a bit complacent and need to up my game. I don’t want a drink but realise its always lurking and waiting.
Have a great day 
Oh my friends and everyone here I am going to get honest. I have trelapsed, not on meth or opioids but on alcohol and benadryl…
My addict said 'It’s just one drink and it Lwrill be fine my boyfriend can supervise my drinking.
My addict said nobody will ever know if I use responsibly
My addict said you are more social and sexy on alcohol and drugs
That’s about it as to reasons why. Behaviors indicating a relapse (my sponsor knew even knew I had.
I started not going to meetings every day
I stopped doing stepwork.
I totally started making things ilike watching a sports game at a sports bar a priority instead of going to a meeting
I stopped asking my Higher Power every day to help keep me clean
I stopped checking in on this forum was
I didn’t call my sponsor before I picked up for dome reason likely thought she would stop my addict from picking up and my addict didn’t want that.
Although I had been trying for a month at least to keep my relapse secret? I Phoned my sponsor tonight at midnight and got honest. She said she kinda knew I had relapsed but she was waiting for me to get honest and call her.
All the time I did know that Honesty was critical and that’s what eventually get up the courage to admit the relapse and come back on here.
So, I Will be ok. I have come to you my fellow addicts and gotten honest. I have been honest with my sponsor.I Ihave not gotten honest yet with my psychiatrist and addictions doc and family doctor. I have not yet told my parents or brother, but I will.
So the plan is today to go to a meeting and surrender, pick up a white keytag and not lie all-out ny clean date… My sponsor will drive me.
Ii am disappointed in myself because I used, disappointed I I used. I knew better.
Ok folks tomorrow is Day 1. I know I will be loved and accepted here and at NA
Hi, I Kat and I’m an addict
1092
Coffee. Weekend. First two days working at the detox were really good. Feels like coming home. Shared a little bit of the knowledge I gained -mainly here- in the last couple of years. Went down well.
After work I went to my old local and sat outside with the same old crew for a bit. At least a year ago I last was there. Absolutely nothing changed. it was good to see an old friend, but an hour among the drinkers was more than enough to realize I’ve changed way too much to ever fit in there again. In fact I never really fitted in there except for the shared boozing we did.
Never again. I’m sober and clean and that’s the only way I want to be. One day at a time. Have as good a weekend as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come of it. Love from Amsterdam.
@kat261 It’s good to see you Kat. Welcome back and see you again tomorrow.
