Checking in daily to maintain focus #43

Life in Recovery
1297

#Day 1354 :seedling:
Going to work for a few houres for the first time in 3 weeks! Looking forward to it! Also did 1 hour rehersal with my samba band yesterday evening, it was so nice to play again!
Glad Iā€™m back living again instead of being on the couch :blush:
I never had cravings in those 3 weeks. I think back in the old days I would have because I felt sorry for myself and thought I deserve a drink, ore 2, ore many.
This time I also pity myself but cheered myself up with buying a new bag.
And the next day? No hangover but still own that gorgeous bag! :heart_eyes:

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Yesterday I didnā€™t walked so an older picture today from the community garden a few days ago. An Artisjok/ Artichoke.
Have a nice saturday TS people! :heavy_heart_exclamation:

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1298

Glad you are here again. In Dutch I would said ā€œje bent een bikkel!ā€ It means you are a tough person. It take courage to admit where you are.
But itā€™s a step forward again. Well done!

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1299

Glad the surgery went well Jess and you are not in a lot of pain. I do understand the feelings you are dealing with. Take it easy!! :blush::+1:

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1300

Hi all,
This is just a quick questionā€¦
When you reply to a post and your reply goes on the bottom of the thread, is there a way to get back to where you were reading on the thread? I have to scroll back until I see the heart that Iā€™ve liked.

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1301

Hi Kat. Thanks for your honesty. Welcome back, thereā€™s always room. Weā€™re here if you need us. :heart:

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1302

Day 63
Not bad, figured things out, keeping myself busy and going day by day. Finished a really nice 7 day self esteem meditation series and Iā€™m on to the next

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1303

Hi @kat261 . It takes a lot of courage and strength to admit when you have relapsed. You have realised that you are off course and now you are correcting it. The work you did before you relapsed isnā€™t gone.

You are picking yourself back up again and going again. That is definitely something to be proud of.

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1304

Thank you so much, it is actually a huge relief. It was taking a lot of energy lying to myself, and constantly assessing what was OK, and what wasnā€™t.

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1305

Thanks so much. It does feel like that sometimes. I do need to do some work to stop this being a regular thing. I think I am starting to accept this is a long-term thing. Good luck, always here if those lurking voices get too much.

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1306

Congratulations to your fantastic 30 days! :tada: :confetti_ball:

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1307

i think you can just hit the back button. :point_up:t3: Iā€™ll try it now.
Edit:
Nope.

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1308

@SoberWalker thank you for telling.me I have courage and strength I felt ashamed for not checking in on here for a week

@TrustyBird thank you for welcoming me back and I am grateful to my God for the courage to admit my relapse

@Staringupfromthewell thank you also. I am not beating myself up this time, just accepting that relapse is/was a part of my journey although this time round will try to work a better program

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1309

Hi Kat I am proud that you are now honest and you have start over again. I have been very familiar with your situation. Indeed, it is your addiction that makes you hide your relapse. Good for being aware of what went wrong prior to the relapse. I hope this helps to avoid any difficulties in the future

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1311

And now I am craving Stilton and crackers :yum: Seriously though, great job!

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1312

How nice that you can walk again and enjoy nature. Have fun! You can eat those artichokes, right?

1314

I just had chocolate fingers for breakfast so I sense it is going to be a naughty foods day :grin:

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1317

ā€¦1534. Crazy work week. Worked 10 hours, off for 6, then worked a 17 hour shift. With a possibility of doing that all over today.

I could BE pissed, I could BE the angriest person on the planet. Orā€¦I could just BE present.

I chose to just BE.

Life is short, today is all we have. I find it, for meā€¦Just to be presentā€¦and find something to smile about. Those hours I worked, helped someone else heal.

Friends, BE sober today.

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1318

Checking in on day 1!
After over 7 months of sobriety I fucked things up, no excusesā€¦ I let the addict voice fool myself, and had 2 glasses of wineā€¦ What did I learn?

ā€¢ Alcohol sucks
ā€¢ Drinking alcohol sucks
ā€¢ Hangovers suck
ā€¢ Letting your guard down is a big mistake

I donā€™t think Iā€™ve lost my previous 215 days, but for accountability I needed to come clean.
Therefore back on track! :muscle:t2:

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1320

Oh @kat261ā€¦Please donā€™t be so hard on yourself. You are a strong individual and wonderful caregiver. God loves you and wants you to stay sober. You can do this. It was one moment. One day at a time, That is what I am learning. I have relapsed and felt terrible. I know the feeling all too well. I am in your corner. May God continue to bless you and keep you safe. Hugs :heart:

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1322

Great to see you coming straight back Jenny :heartpulse:
Some may disagree but I would class your 2 drinks as a lapse rather than a relapse.
You slipped up, immediately owned it and picked yourself back up the next day. That takes courage!!
Despite having to reset the counter, you definitely havenā€™t lost those 215 days. You worked hard for them and they will always be yours. Use them as motivation to get there again, odaat :star2:

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