Checking in at the end of day 38. Had a great time on my trip. Im exhausted. I have so much catching up to do! Service was real spotty in most of the places I was. So ill keep it short and share my fav part of my trip
My cousins house I was staying at, has a shower outside overlooking a meadow. I decided to use that shower at dusk, going for a whole vibe. Well, as soon as I started the shower, a doe walked out of the little treeline there and just started grazing. The whole scenario was just so peaceful. My soul was completely at ease in that moment. I have never felt so content in my life, that I can remember. It was just. Wow.
Hereās a pic of the view from the shower, I didnāt have my phone with me when the deer was out there but itās something Iāll never forget.
Well, you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men.
I have now reliably been informed by the moderator that, since I canāt get access to my old e-mail account, I wiill NOT be able to resume my old Fokusnik account, which will be anonymized.
No big deal, Iām perfectly happy using this account.
Checking in at day 267.
Just like yesterday it will be a quiet day as I have to rest. Iām really starting to think it should have been the way it is now. Now that I have stopped running I have started thinking/gaining insights. I so passed myself! The way of life that I did was also addictive behavior and I can now live according to the recovery principles. Another insight I have gained is that recovery is based on balance in your life. Balance in everything. Even the things I like I have to find a balance in because I can go too far in that. So a balance in fun and less fun things such as things that have to be done, building relaxation and tension (physical movement and rest, mental rest and effort). But I think the basic things are openness and honesty to yourself and others, tranquility and purity.
Have a nice and sober day everyone
Thatās great Dana! Iām reading this and realize youāre probably at 100 days now yay
But I think itās still nighttime where you live so Iāll be keeping a close eye on the forum today so I can congratulate you
Feeling great, loving this new lifestyle. Been healing the negativity and judgements Iāve kept on myself for years. All good vibes and acceptance. Itās been enlightening this go around.
Good morning everyone! One day and 16 hours sober this morning. Yesterday was a pretty good day; stayed busy at work, went home, made dinner, then to bed early.
So, this is normal. The āday one happy-all is goodā feeling. Today work will be busy. The afternoon will be sunny. The weekend is coming and itās a long, holiday weekend.
Back storyā¦ been drinking/binge drinking since my early 20ās. I was a bartender for a number of years. Iāve been divorced twice- both marriages from one or both of us being heavy drinkers. Iāve been in an okay relationship for 6 years now and donāt want to lose it. He weed vapors and drinks daily.
Based on my drinking patterns, I know this evening will be hard, Thursday even harder, and a three day weekend will kick my a$$. Thanks for being here everyone. Have the best day possible
Still learning not to take other peopleās actions towards me personallyā¦ I have a close friend who overstepped boundaries earlier tonight and Iām struggling with the emotions Iām feelingā¦ I keep reminding myself it is not about me but what they have going onā¦
This is not something I would be doing if I was still drinking. I would have immediately and indignantly retaliated, determined to hurt them backā¦
But instead, I am so grateful for my sobriety, that it gives me a clear head to process my thoughts and feelings and make me realise that the world doesnāt revolve around me and not everything is about me. They only hurt me because they are hurting, not due to anything actually involving meā¦
Sobriety has also given me boundaries. Because with sobriety also comes self worth, self respect, self dignity. Hence why Iāve decided to break out of the cycle of this other persons (escalating) behaviour towards me. Iām letting this person go. And itās shit. Itās not easy. It still hurts. Itās sad. Iām sad. But. I. Just. Canāt. Keep. Doing. It. Anymore.
I just donāt deserve it you know, and canāt keep doing itā¦
Sorry for the ramble, guess Iām just clearing my head before bed
** note to self - I need to invest in a new journal
One thing I can say about this journey is that the beginning was definitely the hardest for meā¦ getting past that first week especially; I had so many restarts over the years. Days 4 or 5 would be the challenging ones. But once the days started building and the momentum was there, it was such a great feeling and supported my perseverance. Iām certainly not saying its ever been or will be āeasyā, but I know for damn sure its worth it!!!
Yes it will be hard. But you can do this. Check in here before you use. Read around here a lot.
Remember the craving will pass and days add up quickly. I never thought Iād be 56 days sober and here I am. I really had to learn my triggers and learn to sit with uncomfortable feelings instead of just trying to escape or numb myself. Meditate, breathe, walk, eat, call a friend, reach out here. It is possible to beat each craving one by one. Day by day. Minute by minute. Donāt think too far ahead. We are here for youā„ļø
but itās something Iāll never forget.
Congrats on1 year!!!
