Hi R, thanks for much for your kind words! 
I agree with you! Like someone said to me today; 2 steps forward, 1 step backā¦
which is still forward, by the way! I donāt plan to do more steps backwards, my head is banging like crazy today, and itās well deserved!
3 Likes
216
Trying to take it easy today ā¦ been struggling with my anxiety, Neuropathy, And diet ā¦ Everything seems to be going good but Iām struggling to find a balance with my diet and the anxiety I feel inside of my body. Sometimes itās so incredibly uncomfortable it feels like Iām withdrawing off alcohol even after monthsā¦ Itās hard to find a balance because I also suffer from Gerd so itās hard for me to keep proper weight and with my nutrition my nerve problems are worse. Iāve also been having these panic attacks Iāve had five of them in the last six months and every single time out of nowhere freezing and trembling from head to toeā¦ It always comes out of nowhere and the best I can do is hold on and try to breathe and then I always end up basically crawling my way into the shower for some reason the hot water helps. I have to be honest and real about this because maybe thereās somebody who understands trying to balance this. I noticed sometimes Iām not eating and I get to a level where everything is a lot worse than it takes two weeks to get back on track with eating and feeling better. Sometimes it scares me and makes me think that other things are going on but most likely my body is just repairing from years of drinking. The worst thing I can do is look online for understanding like web mdā¦ !!! I know that itās going to take time for my body to repair and Iām trying to control what I can with B vitamins and I noticed smoking and coffee makes the nerve problem worse, also cold weather. On a good note my liver enzymes are normal again. But now I need to figure out this anxiety and whether itās physical or mentalā¦ No matter what I push forward. I hate alcohol and what it did to me
14 Likes
Good morning family, checking in with
888 days substance free
407 days self injury free
23 days sugar free
The double date I went on last night was great. We started out having a nice meal at an old firehall that has been remodeled into a resturant. From there we went to a bar and listened to live music for 3 hours. I spent a lot of that 3 hours in curious contemplation about who I really am. It was interesting to have been faced with such thoughts when exposed to an environment where I was flooded with imagery of what the night would have looked like 3 years ago. I guess I am not a dancer, nor am I a mingler.
Maybe I always knew that but it had been so long since I had been out and sat in authenticity Iād forgotten. It was quite an experience I have to say, it was quite an experience to enjoy something fully my way, how apparently I enjoy things.
Which is completely opposite to how I have lived my life up until now. It was comforting to be accepted by myself and by others for where I am today. Who knows maybe in two more years I will become an all night dancer once again.
I am so at peace with my life today. Funny enough, even the sketchy days feel peaceful. I love my life today.
29 Likes
Checking in at day 277.
Because I have little energy, not much comes out of me. I do work a bit on the steps everyday and go to the meeting, but I should really take more meetings. But it can be such a challenge to do my households sometimes so I thought I might start to feel bad about the situation but Iām not going to force myself either. In the end, itās all about balance. So if I canāt take more meetings because of physical complaints, I donāt have to feel guilty because I do everything I have to do, but a little less.
Iām looking forward to tomorrow. First in the morning to a meeting and then to my son. I miss him so much. Weāre going to make a super cozy and fun afternoon together.
Have a nice, sober day everyone
19 Likes
That sounds so great. I love it that you had such a nice time. You deserve it. Yeah who knows what it will look like in 2 years if it already looks this beautiful 
3 Likes
Tonight at midnight will be 2 months clean and sober
At this time 2 months ago I was drunk on vodca mad that i didnt feel good
Sence then i fell inlove and have a full time job as a dishwasher that i love
I popped my bike ride two days ago abd I actually had money to fix it.
This feels good
Im off to work now
Check in later
26 Likes
Thanks for your kind words Becsta! I drank way less than what I used to drink, but enough to have a terrible headache all day long at work. Learned my lesson for sure!
4 Likes
Stilton is blue cheese from England, Gorgonzola is blue cheese from Italy, Roquefort is blue cheese from France, Cambrales from Spain. Blue Cheese from USA! @michaeljlogan74 ā¦ all wonderful!
@BrianP exciting you will see the concert! I watched all of their US tour shows last year, live streamed. It was a pleasure, wonderful shows, all. Am following their ā60ā tour, saw some pieces from Madrid, posted several in Anthem #2. Hope you have a wonderful time, glad you are able to go with your hurt ankle! Will be so nice for you to be there sober!!
3 Likes
Thank you Menno, itās a shame I fucked upā¦ but too late to change anything about it. Back on track, focusing on today, with a clear mind and my lesson learned! š„¹
4 Likes
Checking, and I can feel my depression lurking ā dang it!! I refuse to go there! So what can I do as a solution? I always feel better when I accomplish something. But lately I only āfeelā it if Iām accomplishing something for work. Today I will: make a To-Do list for a work project that I feel hopeless about. I will exercise by walking in my neighborhood around dusk when itās cool. I will do my daughterās laundry so I donāt get upset later on when she has nothing to wear. I will do service by picking up dirty clothes from under her bed and desk (she has a developmental disability or I would make her do it). I will keep moving forward ODAAT.
17 Likes
It sounds like you are doing the right thing @Kareness . Identifying the feeling, acknowledging it and taking steps to make yourself feel better.
As you say One day at a time.
1 Like
Day 15 - Today was much better than yesterday. I think confronting my feelings of loneliness and reaching out to people in my life has helped massively. The temptation was not there today.
I have some things to look forward to tomorrow. Swimming, catching up with friends online and probably trying to read a bit more of the Fellowship of the Ring (which I have never read before). Trying to keep the positivity and the focus.
I hope everyone has a good clean day!
20 Likes
I am soooo happy to see u posting! I was worried about u 
I am so sorry that u had a slip but honestly it took a lot of courage to come out and post so honestly and openly and courageously to us. Addiction hates honesty and secrets so I know how important it was for u to be open to us. I read ur post and could tell that u have done alot of thinking about what happened. U have been able to identify what āphrasesā were going thru ur mind that pushed u to use. So thatās great info for the future! I feel like u were able to see how relapse is a process and not something that just happens in an instant, as i think u really saw how things were sort of beginning to slide for awhile. Not all is lost tho Kat, u have so much knowledge for ur recovery. Even after this! Iām sooo damn proud of you and excited for u to be back. I missed ur posts hugs
6 Likes
Quick check-in. 22 days 19 hours 10 minutes. No alcohol but itās strange I have been getting massive headaches the past 3 days. I was a heavy drinker and was surprised that I didnāt have withdrawal symptoms earlier. Not sure if this is symptoms or what but my diet hasnāt changed much and I always drink a lot of water. Anyway just some small thoughts.
21 Likes
Always good to see you checking in, Paul!
3 Likes
I feel this 100%. Thank u for sharing about ur night out. And it is so nice to hear the self love and acceptance and enjoyment that u had! Iām really very proud of u and ur recovery and ALL the work u have put into it. Hugs my friend 
4 Likes
Checking in, home safe from a few days in Milwaukee, a lovely sober trip with my guy! A great success. More trips are definitely in our future. My last posts before we left I was pretty funked out, but I am happy to say when we got on the road I was in a much better headspace. The trip away and some undivided attention with each other was much needed and things are better off as a result overall. 
14 Likes
Day 231 AF
Went to my nieceās High School graduation last night. Ran into a few people that I havenāt seen in ages; itās a small world. Brought back a few memories when we used to kick it and drink up. Those days are over now.
Have a great weekend everyone!
@Bluekoolaid hope you feel better, bro. Iām back to drinking coffee, soda, and eating junk food. I fucked up cuz my heartburn is back 
. My eyelid and my pinky keep twitchy. Iāve been stress eating. Ima have to go back to drinkin my herbal teas. This sucks. Some days Iām okay, and other days I just feel out if it. Stay strong. We got this!
18 Likes
Day 248
Hi everyone,
I have had the loveliest weekend indoors, cooking and gardening and spending time on myself.
Im visiting a friend tommorow and im actually quite excited, i kind of isolate myself so its going to be really nice socialising and getting back out doing stuff i enjoy in the community 
I wish you all a lovely nignt/morning/afternoon which one applies to yourself. Its 12:30am here where i am right now i have been woken by a fox having a midnight snack, i could see him/her walking around my garden on the security camera, so thats keeping me awake.
But apart from that im just laying in bed listening to the rain, watching the fox on the camera sheltering in my garden out the rain.
Insomnia
29 Likes