Congratulations to your 3 months sober!
Sounds good!
I like the taste of Gorgonzola a lot and will try to find the English kind.
Thanks, mate.
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Hey Seb glad youāve come back and not stayed there with it!
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Happy 6 weeks!
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Good youāre here Seb. Based on what Iāve seen here itās a slippery slope youāre on. Please take the very best of care in the (near) future friend.
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Hey all, checking in on day 721. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Welcome Tom!
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Hello everyone, on day 29 (hours away from day 30) of no alcohol or weed here. Iām going to a meeting later this morning since itās been a few weeks due to being in my intensive outpatient program (IOP). Iām excited to go to this meeting to get my 30 days chip, but to also meet a few members of my IOP in person! This meeting is open to all but is focused on the LGBTQ+ community and I always love interacting with members of my community.
My sleep varies from night to night, but I am overall doing well! Feeling a lot better in my mental and physical health without weed or alcohol. We got a puppy yesterday and sheās so sweet, and also another way to occupy my time/distract from any cravings. I will say I did not adopt a puppy with that in mind, but Iāve already seen the benefit of having another being to care for.
A few days ago I had checked in with a big and exciting update about work, and Iām proud to say that I accepted my job offer! The position is within the same team and division at my work, Iām being promoted to my bossā old position while she moves into an overhead supervisory role. I guess itās safe to say that I will now be middle management, which is a huge step up for me as Iām 26 years old and never imagined being someoneās boss. Thankfully I have the whole month of June to transition into my new role, but I am feeling excited as I will be a state employee and not a contractor anymore. Things really feel like theyāre falling into place, and I could not be more pleased with my life at the moment.
I hope that everyone has a lovely and sober day. Letās make it a good one! 
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Oh my goodness @Becsta . I couldnāt have wished for a better reply I donāt think. I feel like this is just exactly what I needed to read right now - and so fantastically written too. It sang to me even more because of it. It actually sounded like the kind of thing I would have written 
if I would have been in your position, sharing a cautionary tale. And I think that that was what has stopped me dead in my tracks.
āThen around the 8th year that cunning and ever so patient little voice began its whisper in my ear until it became a roar that convinced me I could succeed at moderationā.
This idea jumped into my mind a few months ago, and it surfaces every now and again. Itās still that whisper, but i fear it may be getting louder. I recently noticed I was fabricating excuses as to why it might be a good idea to try to moderate. The best one was āI should do this. It would be good for my mental health, if i could overcome this feeling of inadequacy pertaining to the fact that I have to abstain from something.ā Like it had a control over me. But the truth is, of course, is that by abstaining, I AM in control over it. And you could say that the little voice in my head is actually owned by the alcoholism/or drink, enticing me in, and if I was to ignore and fight against that, then that would be the control further gained. Itās all about perspective in this one eh?
Itās scary to think that my dark days could come back and that they could be darker. Thankfully, right now, I am reading your message and for the first time, Iām questioning my everpresent thought of 'If i relapsed, I would be only drinking for a week max before Iād be back āgoodā again.
I should let this sink in. I am going to save your words to a document I keep for certain things that I need to remind myself of. It is the first of this nature that I put in there. Thank you so very much for contributing here, for me, and others.
Tom (Mulchy13)
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Thank you Matti! Thank you, very much
Congratulations on your 90 days! You should be really proud of yourself that you have reached the 90 days and that you have the situation under control. Very well done 
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Checking in, day 576. Iām having a difficult time and not really sure why, I donāt see any particular reason for that. Iām irritable and moody all the time. Iām tired of juggling with addictions, just tired of being myself. It feels as if there was a ceiling my addict brain cannot break through. I get very close, and then when it seems to be within reach, I fall back down. I used to think that cross-addictions are just something I can live with and face them later eventually, but now I start to think that these minor addictions are the final boss, it is still the same many-faced beast, but they are many, theyāre sneaky, and Iām just as powerless as I used to be.
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Iāve replied here
As I didnāt want to risk āderailingā the check in thread with my lengthy response 
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Day 723 clean and sober today. I love the fact that I can come to this forum and feel instantly connected and get some peace without even saying or posting anything. Itās a comfort just recognizing all the familiar names Iāve come to know over the last almost 2 years that Iāve been here. Found out yesterday that we lost another kid to a Fentanyl overdose Friday night. Once again my heart breaks for the parents left behind when something like this happens. Have an amazing day everyone, love you guys 
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Hi everyone, I hope that you are all well.
Over here, on the train heading to CH, itās pouring as we go through the alpsā¦ currently stopped in Domodossola. Given the pouring rain, itās nice to be on the train !
Off we goā¦
Have a good day everyone.
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So day 23 now Iām happy about that. Seems like itās just easier now to say No to myself even if a thought creeps in. I feel like my brain is getting back to a reasonable evaluation point. Like when it was heavy drinking and not giving myself a chance to process thoughts I would just buy another bottle. Now, like the other day shopping thoughts crept in, I was able to say to myself, āwhatās it really worth to TRY to have a class of wine with my wife?ā I know she would have just a tiny glass then I would finish the bottle most likely right from the bottle. Itās a real advantage now without the cloud to be able to realize that itās not worth it. This morning my headaches seem to be gone. Iām hoping thatās over with because I was in real pain behind my eyes and Iāve never had unbearable headaches before. So kinda like when I was drinking I thought every pain was going to be catastrophic like a heart attack or liver failure. Last night those thoughts were coming back, like oh Iāve made irreparable damage with my drinking and this could be much worse than a headache. Overall Iām feeling great. We start our vacation next week on the 10th stopping around Houston TX then Pensacola FL.
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Glad your here Tom! I feel like service work is sooo important. Giving back is crucial bcuz honestly if others did give so freely to me, I would very very likely not be here. I myself have had so much support in many diff ways (recovery related or not) over the past 22 years of addiction. I have taken alot of what I have learned over those years and am now at 111 days clean from all mind altering susbtances 
But I couldnāt have done it without others doing service work. So I really think itās amazing that u want to reach out and be of service! Welcome to the forum! I look forward to reading ur posts!
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Morning Check in
Day 111
Felt a little off waking up. I feel like a bitter person today lol but I am working on changing my attitude. What good will being miserable do me? Lol I woke up, got ready for work, and then caught the bus. Itās super misty and rainy here today and I LOVE IT! The weather itself and all the beautiful green trees just boosted my mood. I have alot to be grateful for. I did my prayer and spent time with my HP on the way to work. Now Iām here and hoping for a great day! Working on clearing my mind from that resentment and living in the moment. Focusing on the now and what I need to do today. Going to be upbeat and positive and motivated today!
Hope everyone has an addiction free day! Hugs TS fam!
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Thanks Richard! Itās so nice to see u post! 
hope ur doing well
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