Good morning all. Checking in on day 290. Amazing how you can wake up in such a pleasant mood. Have a great day, got to sleep and sleep amazing and wake up and have a negative attitude. I take medication so I cannot dream or remember dreams so wonder if they are still mentally affecting me. Today has not been good. My Great Dane ruined another window sill and 140 dollar dog bed when I was getting the mail and stopped by a neighbor for no more than 6-7 minutes. Fluff and plastic everywhere and praying she didnāt eat to much. Hope everyone has a great day! I will be attempting to meditate and turn this morning around!! Stay safe and take care!
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@anon53116147 you got this man. Keep that open mind. If you want to replace the word god with whatever you want then go for it, all that matter is it works for you!! Best of luck and thoughts will be with you, a lot of them looking at the last few minutes man!
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Good luck Mike!!! Proud of you! Canāt wait to hear about ur experiences once ur done!
That sounds like an awful way to start ur day 
i really hope that ur day improves!
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Thanks everyone im walking in now, just finished my covid test. Iām shaking and nervous but Iām out phones going with my mom much love
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you got this Mike!!
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Hey guys! Day 4 checking in!
Thanks very much, I hope everyone has a fabulous week.
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What great news Mike. Iām so glad that youāre taking such a positive and proactive step in your recovery. Sending you lots of love and strength. Go take your life back!
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It has to right?! If not Iāve been through worse hahaha.
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Congratulations for 15 months of soberness!
Why give up? Donāt mean to be a trouble maker - ok maybe I do - but it seems like that wouldnāt help anything (including, it wouldnāt make anything easier; the things that suck would still suck, itās just then there would be an additional problem: giving up).
What does that mean? Specifically. āget betterā. What exactly does that mean?
Itās like if I say āI want to strengthen my cooking skillsā. That can mean a lot of things. Maybe I mean I want to stop burning the French toast I make for my family. Maybe I mean I want to learn to cook recipes that are both nutritious and flavourful. Both those things are strengthening cooking skills, but they look very different; the only way I can know if Iāve succeeded - gotten better - is if I know how it will & will not look.
What does āget betterā mean for you here?
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8 years ago I was in a very, very terrible place in my life. I couldnāt even imagine my life without injury, alcohol and my eating disorder. I had been destroying myself for 33 years and the mere thought of any other type of life was daunting. I was so depressed, and dealing with suicidal ideation on the daily. My anxiety was debilitating and the pain attacks I experienced were stopping me from doing anything at all outside my house. I had a little girl whose behavior was very difficult to deal with and a marriage that was blowing up infront if me. I was so full if shame and remorse I could not look at myself in the mirror. I also seriously considered throwing my hands up and screaming a big FUCK YOU to the universe and just giving up because the pain was too much and I didnāt think I had the strength to do it.
I didnāt say fuck you that day, nor the next, and if I am being 100% honest I think it was because I was too beaten to do anything but drag my ass forward. Everyday I told myself I couldnāt do it but everyday I was doing it. Suddenly when I was in therapy a few months ago I looked at my old therapy binder and I was shocked. I had attained my goals from 5 years ago.
Recovery is a long very difficult road and sometimes it feels like we are not going anywhere. Those are usually the days where the most growth inside us is happening though. Donāt give up on yourself, just stick around and keep doing what you have been doing.
Whatās one positive thing for today?
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Love you!!!
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Mid morning here and feeling constructive. Started my day with a short run and those endorphins helped launch my morning. Got some important financial matters sorted at the bank. Two key items checked off.
Last night my wife was pissed that I was late getting to bed because I was replying to some stuff and writing things here on TS. (It wasnāt about TS specifically, just that I was like 45 minutes later than expected getting to bed. I had no awareness of the time passing - ADHD time-blindness - and I understand how she feels. It was a hard conversation but helpful. It is hard to be married to someone with ADHD. There are unique strengths to ADHD, but there are also unique strains.)
The emotions of living with ADHD are intense. Itās like 0-100 in a moment, like a bolt of lightning. Iām often jarred by feelings of frustration or by discouragement or ____ [insert emotion here] and itās tough to keep my balance and moderate myself to work with my loved ones (my wife, my family).
I am nervous about that. I am nervous. Itās a process; itās a journey; I am nervous and I am moving forward.
Thank you all for your responses @Faugxh, @Staringupfromthewell, @Misokatsu, youāre perceptive and wise, each of you shedding light on a part of my experience, helping me to see it more fully. I appreciate it very much 
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Day 43 sober. Iāve been through a breakup and have been dealing with an extremely sick parent during that time. The urge to drink has been present in the back of my head, but Iāve been staying strong throughout.
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Good news yesterday: left my phone downstairs, slept very well, woke up to my alarm clock radio. It was great.
New practice: gonna stop using my phone after 9 pm. Going to set the Sleep function on my iPhone to shut it off then. Will keep everyone posted.
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Morning Check in
Day 112
Not really sure how Iām feeling today. I feel like I have an abundance of energy and emption inside and it needs to come out. I think I am going to try a workout and do some cleaning today. Anything active to get me moving and releasing this energy. I donāt actually like how I feel and itās all bcuz of that stupid resentment. I have been praying over it and it helps. But itās short lived and I catch myself thinking about it and replaying the events. Whatās done is done and I dealt with it in a decent way. Just annoyed with certain propel today and really needing to focus on me
Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
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Take care Dana and stay aware. The frustration is valuable and itās giving voice to something. The voice needs some attention to something - what it is, only you can know, with some reflection; keep doing the next right thing and youāll find it
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Day 24 and be reunited with my kids today 
ano itās been a month but it goes to show u put the effort in things slowly fall into place am absolutely buzzing hope everyone good
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Wow!!!
What an exciting day for you. Enjoy your children.
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