Hey I see your posts here so much and just wanted to say we see you still here, still showing up for yourself, even in times of most duress and exhaustion when you’re not sure why. And honestly, that takes such an effort in and of itself and you’re doing the thing still, and that’s not nothing.
Relearning to exist is fatiguing and you’re doing great just being here. Be kind to yourself friend 
you’re worth it too. From one former weed fiend to another, we can do this
You’re farther ahead than me also and that’s always been an inspiration for me btw! Sending strength
8 Likes
Check in on day 2. Slept well though at the beginning I had problems to fall asleep. But then 6 hours without interruption. Now I am drinking coffee and I am pretty happy about not having any hangover!
17 Likes
1097
Coffee. Late shift in the detox last night for the first time felt like I truly belong there. Really nice workday. Not bad after four shifts in total. Getting home was terrible. I need an alternative to taking two trains. Took me two hours instead of the 45 minutes it should take. Might buy a car after all.
So now I’m bloody tired as I can’t sleep in at the moment. Got an appointment with my (former but not quite) therapist coming up to discuss follow up treatment possibilities after schema therapy. I’m tired of therapy but on the other hand I’m not done. The issue of abuse as a kid and its consequences still have to be addressed.
There goes my planning. My idea was I’d start my new work and include a big course learning to incorporate my personal experiences with addiction in my work. Now I think that has to wait. Only 7 days in a week and I can’t spend 'm all working and studying and therapying. Well. Will see.
Life happens while making other plans. Becoming sober and clean was a choice and a plan for me though. And thanks to you all I made it stick. And that choice still changes the course of my life each and every day.
Recovery is lifelong work but it’s a work of love and it’s so bloody worth it. Keep going all. Sober and clean. One day at a time. Make your day as good as you can friends. Here’s another sunset shot from my work place. Love.
@Joyce19 Really glad to see you Joyce! We need each other friend. Can’t do it alone. Hugs.
26 Likes
Day 261 checking 
Going to my first AA convention in Leeds on Friday for the weekend looking forward to it a new experience for me hope everyone is well
16 Likes
Day 4. Gonna take some na beers to band practice later and see how that goes. Might try and figure out how to change my profile picture here too so I can make more meaningful connections with you wonderful people.
17 Likes
69 days day AF tonight. Having intense cravings tonight. I know I’ll go to be sober. Do the craving waves end?
16 Likes
NA beers can be risky business. For many it’s triggering as they find it too close to the real deal Especially early in recovery. Others don’t think it’s a problem. Take care and enjoy your band practice.
5 Likes
They will, push through. It’s worth it. 
4 Likes
Yes they do. It might be interesting, helpful and distracting to analyse what makes you crave in the first place. Also withstanding a craving makes withstanding the next one just that tiny little bit easier. Hardly noticeable at first, but over time it shows. No joke. Hang in there Kelly.
6 Likes
@cjp I know it’s easy to say when you aren’t living it, but try and be kind to yourself.
I always say the first 6 months of a job you are basically learning constantly. Your brain is working hard to just stand still. Give yourself some space and time to get your feet under the preverbial desk.
Also I mix my words up all the time at work and my job is literally to write words 80% of the time! I even have to forewarn people that I can’t talk and type / write so there is an awkward silence on the phone as I switch from one to the other.
We are all human, we all have our quirks. Be kind to yourself 
8 Likes
@Butterflymoonwoman What a wonderful day and that’s a great way of dealing with a stressful situation. Really well done!
7 Likes
Hello all, checking in on Day 6. A little nervous today as I have my ultrasound on my liver/gallbladder area to work out the cause of pain. I do think it has eased a lot since I gave up in February so hoping I am already making progress.
I shared about my horrible dream yesterday, well last night I had an amazing one. In it I cured my chronic fatigue syndrome and I woke up feeling quite refreshed. I am hoping to seize on that energy to try and make progress as so much of it is affected by my state of mind.
I hope everyone has a great day.
18 Likes
Thank you,
Yes I’m trying to be curious as to why I’m feeling like drinking…so many reasons 
The cravings are getting a little easier to manage, just hoping I don’t decide to give myself a break from them and drink.
4 Likes
Day 727 clean and sober today. Big difference being on day shift, busy af!!! Which is a good thing but dammmm I’m tired. Well up again and ready for the day. Have a good one everybody, love you guys!!! 
18 Likes
Thank you…I’m saving that 
2 Likes
Just had my ultrasound and the pain is gallstones, not liver 
While obviously that is annoying, it has helped me relax a bit. My liver is a bit fatty but not much (would have been interesting to see what it was like in February!)
Hospitals are massive triggers for me, so many crappy experiences, but was in and out quickly.
16 Likes
Day 667
Thought I was being all on the ball, but no. I needed to hand in paperwork at both places I work. I did at one, which made me think I had done at both. Whoops. Feeling a bit overwhelmed with emails and grading. Need to catch up or it will just get worse.
17 Likes
Congratulations to 13 months 
,! 
4 Likes
Morning everyone! 4th day AF.
The presentation with my boss went really well Tuesday. I was so, so tired and irrationally irritable all day but held my mind and didn’t drink.
My boss and a friend from work invited me to their church for Wednesday dinner and prayer meeting and I actually went. I ended up following my girlfriend from work to her place, then to the church, yesterday just so I wouldn’t flake out. I’m really happy I went; it was so nice to do something with people that didn’t involve cocktails.
As for this morning, I’m exhausted. I feel like I can’t win in the sleep department this week. It also hasn’t helped that I have a mouse in my ceiling working the night shift to build a cozy home for himself and his 200 future babies.
Have a great day everyone! Thanks for being here!
20 Likes
5 months 10 days. My head and mind was in a state where I knew I could easily choose wrong and drink, to numb my self. I had 4 bottles with sparkling wine in my house, not for me but to give away for birthday and such. I had to bring them out and throw them all in the garbage. One by one I smashed the bottles in the bin.
20 Likes