I’m not sure what’s causing the anxiety currently. I know I have a lot of issues that create anxiety but it’s not like anything comes to mind before an anxiety wave. It just hits
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I know that feeling…sometimes it just comes without warning and we start wondering what the hell is wrong with me.
Keep peeling back those layers to your 8 year old self…
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Exactly. Thank you, I’m gonna do my best
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93 days 
Hey guys, I’ve been a bit quiet. We have almost completed our move, just a bit of cleaning and gardening back at the old place and a few items out of the shed over the weekend and we’re done.
I’ve struggled a bit with my routine being out of place and my brain yelling at me about not being at the gym, not being unpacked yet, some furniture still in boxes needing to be put together. I actually try and step back from the voice now, like it’s super unrealistic of me to think I could do all of the moving over the last few days, which was a big enough task, go back to full time work, and have my 5 am gym routine in place and everything unpacked at home already 
I can see now that’s very unrealistic and I’m being super hard on myself being stressed that it’s not all done. It will get done, I’ll get back into my gym routine over the weekend and next week when we have finished with all the house stuff. One step at a time, just like my sobriety.
Lots of people at work at the moment, stressed, talking about going home for that much needed wine to destress. I’m just staying in my lane, doing what works for me.
There’s a bath here, I haven’t had a bath in so long, I can’t tell you just how much more relaxing a nice warm calming bath is vs a stupid glass of wine haha.
Have a great day everyone
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Well, my appointment with Vocational Rehab didn’t go so well. My last counselor was going to send me to school after I scored apparently very well on a 3-hour aptitude test I took at some psychiatrist office.
The new counselor says “We don’t do that anymore.” Instead of choosing between work or school, they always put you in a job first and consider you for “additional training” So I have to work in cybersecurity before I can go to school for it. If I just go out there and show off my skills now I’m more likely to get a prison sentence than a scholarship. 
So my education plans aren’t working out, but I started on this awesome book today: The Places That Scare You. I think Recovery Dharma may be what I’ve been looking for. Now some random shout-outs; sorry if I miss anyone, I’ll probably edit this later:
@SadMemeQueen Anxiety just happens. Nothing specific triggers mine. I’m just having a great day and The Big Awful just pops up and says “'sup?”
@Barbtarbox: congrats on 10 days!
@MelSews I’m about to feel your pain. Fireworks are only legal here one week out of the year. Not bad yet, but the weekend is gonna suck.
@KellyKelly Congrats on 90!
@Lovelyoutlook I’m so happy you made it through the gauntlet! At my age, it takes a while for me to get back to normal…
@Staringupfromthewell I’m so happy you got to see family in your right mind; never let that go!
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Checking in Day 1128 sober
Feeling pretty good lately, our household is finally over all the sickness and we are starting to enjoy our school holidays, although the rain has arrived today and looks to be sticking around for a few days.
Also letting everyone know, a July fitness challenge has been created. Would love you to jump on board - its a 31 day challenge and a fairly simple one which can be incorpated with exercise you’re already doing, or if you’ve been wanting to get your body moving it’s a great one to start with! Hope to see you join us 
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Haha thanks Dazer, you the best.
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Yeah a lot of the time mine isn’t caused by anything in particular
Congratulations on your 3 months sober Kelly.
Keep up the great work.
That has never happened to me in my entire life. Ever. 
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Ahhh moving! I’ll be doing that in 6 weeks time also 
at least now the worst of your move is over and you can enjoy settling in and making your new place feel like home 
and baths are awesome - fragrant bath salts, candles and music… bliss!
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Hi All, I’m 3 hrs shy of completing Day 20. @Cjp I was thinking about you last night, Congratulations on 60 Days!! We originally started around the same time, then after 22 days or so, I fell off, got ran over, and drank all the contents of the wagon. But I’m back, and a bit scared of getting past the 22 day mark, but I think I will.
Today was a pretty decent day. I’m telling myself, that it takes time to heal, to feel better, and to keep the faith. And on the other hand, I’m trying to live ODAAT. So a bit of a struggle within my brain. 
Another 3 day weekend coming up, and my inner voice did try to tell me, have a few over the weekend, it will make you feel better and no one will know. My response was 
Shut the F Up, I will know!
I’m definitely not drinking tonight, don’t know about tomorrow, but 21 is my lucky number, so not planning on it. Happy Canada Day Friday, July 1st to all my new Canadian friends!
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Checking in
Day 136
Have been feeling okay today but also tired. I went to my early appt, came home and baked 3 layers of cake for my “moon cake” I have to make. Have to prep the white chocolate buttercream still. I’m doing okay recovery wise today. No concerns there. Hope everyone has had a wonderful day/night so far 
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Hi Dana, post a pic of the Moon cake when finished 
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I think you will too! You got this!
Same here. All the time, especially on weekends or holidays.
@Butterflymoonwoman Please email me a piece of cake! Not a picture, an actual piece of cake.
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I absolutely will!! I have the inspiration pic to follow. Will be done tmrw 
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Hahaha that’s funny! I wish I could honestly. I would do that in a heartbeat
Hey y’all. Checking in, 2 years, 4 months and 8 days! I am so grateful. I have been feeling so connected to my HP, and my program. I am on Step 2 and I am going to try and work on it after I am done typing this but I feel like that addiction voice is quieting down… I know it will always be there but working a program is giving me some relief. I am happy with who I am becoming. I know I have value as a woman in recovery and that I am important. I love who I am becoming inside!!! I have to say, I still worry about my weight and what I look like but I know I am beautiful. I feel good. I feel so weird saying that but it’s true. Anyway, I am working a lot and doing a lot of things for my spirituality like going to church and getting my house blessed by a priest. I am feeling so hopeful about the tools and people my HP has placed in my life to battle the things I go through with his help and guidance. God is so good!!! I love Him ❤🔥❤🔥 also I feel happy most of the time. I always want to be thinking about things but I am also a worrier… I want to change that into a WARRIOR. Anyway 
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Why Brushing My Teeth Helps Me Stay Sober
It is hard for me to get to bed. My mind is always going 1000 mph and I struggle to slow it down. I need transitions to get to sleep.
I am finding as I am working one day at a time that brushing my teeth, simple as it sounds, is helping me feel good at the end of the day.
It’s weird. At the end of the day I often worry about things I should do or should have done, it when I take the time to do a good job brushing my teeth, at least I feel like I’ve done something right then, right there. It feels good. I always feel good after I finish brushing my teeth, no matter what kind of day I’ve had.
That’s my experience today
Checking in day 3.
Still battling the emotions of this professional transition. I am grappling with it and often want to talk to someone. It is hard for me to do text based stuff to check in because I am such an interpersonal person. Put me in a room. I may see if there’s some type of online talking community I could join. I am in recovery from sex/porn, so I don’t necessarily want to jump in on some of the 24 hr AA meetings, not sure if my shares would line up But I’ll check what other 24 hr options there are.
@moonchild7994 you’re doing great. You deserve to feel good. You are perfect exactly as you are.
@Dolse71 awesome work Paul
@Butterflymoonwoman gonna have to have a pic of that cake when you’re done! Sounds delicious 
@maxwell thanks! Happy upcoming Independence Day to you
@Becsta glad everyone’s feeling better
@DryIn785 bummer about the school 
At least now you’ve got a sense of what your capabilities are. You still have the chance to stand out for doing your job well.
@Alycia I laughed when I read your share about the unrealistic expectations of “light-switch” performance that your “perfectionist brain voice” throws at you. My brain does exactly the same all-or-nothing thinking. It’s a real wallop that used to paralyze me. It is still a struggle for me now but I’m working on it. It sounds like you’re working on it too and seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. You will overcome 
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