Morning Check in
Day 121
Woke up early for the gym again today. Grateful that I have been able to take a little extra care of my health this week. I am determined today to be a kinder person. I will talk to everyone that crosses my path today with love and compassion and kindness. I have a few things to do today, a few errands, and I have to get those cupcake toppers done (which I didnt do yesterday). I needed to also pick up my 2 requisitions from the Drās office (1 for bloodwork and 1 for an ultrasound). Work on getting those things done so that she can help me. Maybe also ask about a nutritionist or something. Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
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Congrats on how healthy your relationship has been with food lately. Huge win Fleur. 
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Checking inā¦
Substance free for 899 days
Self injury free for 418 days
Sugar free for 35 days
I am feeling pretty good, even though I am amid a flare up. I am so grateful for the meds that I have been on they seem to dull the pain of my flares to a manageable level. Itās incredible how many years it took to find the right Dr and the right medication for me. I am not afraid to do things now! This time last year I was scared to do anything because with fibro thereās no known threshold. One day I can do an activity with no issues and the same activity on another day could land me in bed for weeks. I am still experiencing the full exhaustion of the flare up (imagine if there was a medication to take that away? Only in a perfect world) but I find that I can still do basic tasks without too much trouble and pain. These simple things in life give me a huge sense of independence. It had been a daunting thought to need to rely on someone to help me when I was feeling unwell. It just feels so good to know I can manage on my own now.
Still working daily on my recovery, keeping myself in the middle of the plate. Taking a little roadtrip with one of my sponsees to a womenās nooner. As you know I love traveling around to hear the message of recovery. Itās going to be a great day. 
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Start of Day 11. It was hard getting up at 4:30 am today. I can sleep in a bit tomorrow at least. One class down, 2 more to go todayā¦.šµāš« One 2 hour video left to watch for my training and then I can submit my Final. I binge watched almost 39 videos in 36 hours.
I really need to learn moderation in most areas of my life.
Have a great day everyone!
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Hey guys. Checking in day 19. I was at home today and had urges to watch prn. But I stayed strong. I am noticing that being bored also is one of the main reason I escape to prn.
@Twizzlers I know training at home can be boringš and I would always procrastinate. But you should try having short workouts. Have a nice day.
@Butterflymoonwoman Hey dana. I know I am late but congrats on reaching 4 months. You are doing a great job. Hats off to you 
Have a great day everyone.
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Feeling pretty shitty for a couple of weeks over here in 
.
Not relapsed, get tonnes of fresh air/exercise, sleep like a log and no underlying health issues.
Putting it down to ācompassion fatigueā through looking after 2 small people (children, not vertically challenged adults !) as their primary carer.
No enthusiasm for anything, little empathy and feeling mentally crappy.
It will pass hopefully.
Sorry for the negativity, not usually like this.
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Day 1 againšreally need to quit the booze this time! Iāve got myself in a really deep hole and now I need to get out.
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Here is a little storyā¦
A hopeless chronic relapsing alcoholic/addict had fallen into a hole and could not find a way out.
Friends and family heard the alcoholic addict crying out for help in a sincere and despairing appeal, āI cannot go on like this! I have everything to live for! I must stop, but I cannot! You must help me!ā So they offered the addict āfrothy emotional appeals,ā bailed the addict out of trouble and gave the addict a ladder to climb out of the hole with, but the chronic relapser sold it to finance the next spree only to realize afterwards that the hole was now deeper than ever!
A doctor who was walking by heard the alcoholic addict crying out for help, stopping the doctor said, āHere, take these pills, it will relieve your pain.ā The doctor offered the addict methadone, suboxene, and a whole plethora of anti-depressants. The alcoholic addict took the pills and said thanks, but when the prescription ran out the pills ran out and the pain came back and the addict realized that he was still stuck in the hole.
A religious person happened to be strolling by and hearing the addict calling out for help stopped and gave the addict scripture, replying, read this scripture while I say a prayer for you.ā The addict read the scripture while the religious person prayed, but it the help was all faith and no works and the addict realized he was still stuck in the hole.
A renowned psychiatrist walked by and heard the addict pleading for help. He stopped and said, āHow did you find yourself in that hole? Were you born there? Are your parents to blame? Tell me about yourself and your life in that hole, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness.ā So the addict talked with the psychiatrist for approximately an hour, then the psychiatrist said he had to leave, but he would come back next week. The addict thanked the psychiatrist for his time even though he was still stuck in his hole.
Finally a ārecoveredā alcoholic addict happened to be passing by and heard the poor manās cries for help. Right away, the recovered alcoholic addict jumped into the hole with him. The suffering alcoholic addict said, āWhy did you do that? Now weāre both stuck here in this god forsaken hole!ā But the recovered alcoholic addict said with a twinkle in his eye, āItās okay brother, Iāve been here before; I know the way out! "
I often read something that starts like thisā¦ āIf you want what we have to offer, and are willing to make the effort to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps. These
are the principles that made our recovery possibleā¦ā
There is a way out, theres a way off that carousel of chaos and misery; but first, above anything else you need to be willing. Look around you and see what is working for other people, maybe try that on for awhile and see how it feels. I am glad you are still trying, donāt ever stop.
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Checking in day 17.
Struggling a bit these last few days. As I have said before I am in the middle of splitting up with my wife. She continues to put me down and tell me it is my fault for the divorce. Labeling me as a bad person because of alchohol. I tired of the dirty looks and judgmental comments I get from our group of āfriendsā. I can only imagine what she tells them about me.
People dont understand what you go through with an addiction. When i was drunk i was not myself. I was a total different person. But it seems people only see that bad person and dont see it understand the struggle we go through.
Staying strong and sober for my kids.
Thank you all for your time and support.
Tom
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Ohhh thank you for this
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Thank you for this!! 
Reading this felt very much like āBeen there, done/tried that.ā Now Iām trying the 5th on the list. 
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Iām going to be rather blunt but it is out of love.
For me, I earned every harsh word I got, every disgusted look and every back that was turned on me. Broken promises, lies, deception and bad behavior were what I displayed over and over to the ones I cared most about. Yes, it was my addiction sustaining my behavior but in all reality it was my behavior and I was responsible for it no matter how much I tried to place the blame elsewhere.
Your words and actions moving forward need to be the example of change. Be as consistent as possible and give honest, heartfelt apologies for any behavior backslides.
Remember your old behavior went on for a length of time. You canāt blame anyone for not instantly believing you have changed. Like everything else, it takes time.
Your partner and some of your friends may never accept the relationship back. That is ok. That is their choice and is something we all have needed to accept.
Stop worrying so much about others. This is a selfish program because it is all about you and your recovery. Itās about the lengths you are willing to go to in order to become the person you were meant to be, clean and sober.
As you find yourself some of them will be rooting you on and standing by you as they start to believe the changes. There is also an entire new world of powerful relationships waiting to be discovered as you walk into recovery. Donāt despair. Work on you and everything will fall into place just as itās meant to be. We are here cheering for you. Continue reaching out. Much love and respect.
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Iām struggling so much today. I woke up feeling sad and itās not gone to sad and also panic. Very nearly relapsed but didnāt because told myself I better not leave the flat if I donāt want to relapse. I just donāt know what is wrong with me today. Hope tomorrow will be a bit better. Hope everyone is doing OK today
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Day 3.
Not 3 years but it still counts. People like you give me inspiration to turn my 3 days into so much more.
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Happy day to all of you. Itās hot here in Wisconsin and Iām 3 days into the first week off of work. I have a lot of excited energy and Iām feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the time on my hands. Previous summer days off meant early and long drinking, so Iām making up some routines to keep me busy. I am not tempted to drink, but I can tell I need some structure already to these fantastic stretches of time.
Luckily I have lots of interests. Iām researching more options for camping. Iām reading professionally and personally. I got some chores done around the house and have had a lot of cups of ice water to keep cool.
I went for a bike ride this morning instead of driving 20 miles to the swimming pool. I think tomorrow I will take the kayak to the lake in the early morning. While I really love the laps in the pool, I want to take advantage of the proximity of the lake and bike trail, especially with Gas at $5.
We are projected to have bad storms this evening. I hope everyone stays safe. Iām keeping busy and sober. Have a great day!
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Hey loves, I am checking in at 2 years, 3 months and 24 days. Currently I am watching Lean On Me w my roommate eating grapes and cheese. I feel good but tired and unmotivated to do what I am suppose to do. I am not really on top of my exercise and health stuff and I feel guilty about it. I think I am just needing to relax and have a break but yeah I want to get on top of
Things and be productive all the time
But I am burning out. I have to let go and realize self-care is important too. Well I went to a meeting last night and got a lot of numbersā¦ I am feeling happy when I am connected but I feel hungrier than usualā¦ idk whatsup w that but I hope it goes awayā¦ anyway 
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Day 26 - My addiction has been front and centre of my thoughts for the last three days and not in the way it should be (as in, how can I identify these feelings so that I can understand them). But I had a real breakthrough half way through the day. I think it was the first time that I āplayed the tapeā and thought through what would happen. It helped to nudge me back on course, along with a lot of reading of the wise words of this community!
I managed a flat viewing today. It was right in so many ways but it had a big big damp problem so unless the seller gets it sorted (or reduces the price) itās a no go. Still on to the next one tomorrow.
I also caught up with a friend tonight. They are going through a tough time and talking to them and trying to help them helped me as well.
One day at a time. I hope you all have wonderful sober days.
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Day 369. Took my youngest to a birthday party and took my eldest to an arcade and mediocre pizza. It was a fun day. Spinning my wheels a bit trying to get established in a new summer routine. I absolutely need structure in my days or it all falls apart.
Wishing you all strength today.
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Me too.
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Hey, how are you feeling now?
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