Today I am soooooo tired and sluggish! š„² I hate these days because Iām such a busy bee, and itās hard for me to sit still usually but I just canāt bring myself to do much. Thereās another heat/humidity wave here and temperatures are in the 100ās. My air conditioner is old and doesnāt work well when itās super humid so itās still upwards of 80 degrees inside during the day.
I just started taking a higher dosage of my medication, which isnāt helping. Side effects include lack of appetite and dizziness. And I believe Iām dehydrated/have heat exhaustion or something from walking around yesterday while waiting for my car to be fixed. I definitely got sun burnt it took the mechanic 6-ish hours to do everything because the spark plugs were rusted into the engine, and then one of them broke inside it but the guy worked his magic and my car is running perhaps even better than when I first bought it!
One thing I did manage to do and finish today was a pair of shorts Iāve been working on the past few days. There were a couple nights where I simply ran out of time in the day and couldnāt sit down to work on it but today I finally finished them!
Love the shorts! My mom tried to make a few clothes items when I was little, they had elastic waistbands because she couldnāt do zippers, and my response was āno way am I wearing thoseā
Thank you both! Iāve been sewing for so long this was my first attempt at actual jean-like shorts with a zipper and belt loops and stuff. It went pretty smoothly Iād say! The directions were hella confusing though not well written
Checking in Day 127
Feeling really off right now. I finished at my ultrasound appt and a flood of emotions came up while the ultrasound was being done. There were 2 very nice ladies there doing the ultrasound and I started tearing up for many reasons. Past memories of similar ultrasounds came up (ones that were due to not good circumstances), and the thought of how I and others had disrespected my body, and what it has gone thru from a variety of things. Wondering if I have done damage to myaelf with what I used to do. It kind of scares me. I almost had her stop the ultrasound (even tho this is a good thing and it is needed to get my health back in order). If it wasnāt for learning what I have since getting clean and learning from all of u and just being clean and sober, I wouldāve bawled and stopped the whole thing. I used distraction and mindfullness to help me get thru it and it went well. But im SO glad itās over. Now just for bloodwirj in early July and Iāll br able to start getting my health back
84 days
Getting ready for work/gym. Feeling a bit restless with work, itās not very challenging or in a field I care about. Not enjoying it very much. Which makes it hard to get going everyday.
But Iām lucky to have full time work, and once Iām settled in the new place Iāll think about which direction I want to take next.
Have a great day everyone.
Just waiting at this point for a part to fix our spare car. I hate doing mechanic work but itās much cheaper to do it myself. Other than that just getting ready for an OCR race on saturday.
Checking in, day 162, beginning step 6. So much uncertainty currently in my life with relationship situation, job, family. I need to remind myself to surrender the outcome and thank God for how far I have come.
āGod, grant me the serenity to accept the things that cannot change, courage to change the things that can, and the wisdom to know the difference.ā
I am uncertain if I am spiritually fit enough to know the difference on many things in my life right now. All I know is I am still sober, still fighting, still doing the next right thing. For now thatās all I can ask for.
Iām grateful for this community, AA, and my Higher power who are all helping me stay sober.
Finally told my mom I wasnāt going to the safehouse. Although sheās worried she said itās okay aslong as I can stay sober. Been feeling terribly guilty about it for the last couple days, glad thatās over with.
Now Iāll get to work fulltime, go on a holiday with (alcohol/drugs free) friends and hopefully spent some more time with family. Iāve started to really enjoy running. Iām setting goals to work up to a marathon eventually. But Iāll take it slow as Iām still a novice. Iām in the best shape of my life. I lost around 11 kiloās since I stopped drinking. Definitely a welcome bonus. Have a great day everyone
I hope so too. But even if there is an issue, I know that I can better handle it and just continue to take care of my body thank u so much Maxine for responding hugs how r u?
Checking in, almost 11 days. Had somewhat of a rough day, started off with tons of inflammation. Was my 1st day back at work after a 3 day weekend, AF. I wasnāt as productive as usual, so by the time I was done with work, I was in a bad mood. Around 5-6pm, really was fighting myself to get/not to get a bottle of vodka. My brain was telling me that it would help with the pain. I made it thru the long weekend, but after work is a trigger.
Iām happy to say, I fought the urge, didnāt buy, didnāt drink. Watched a cute movie with Max āJerry & Marge go largeā. I came here, and @Butterflymoonwoman responded to a reply of mine from earlier, then asked how I was. Sometimes itās such a little thing, that helps another feel better.
Outside of my small circle I wanted To share with you guys, itās been a journey I often feel I would have not made this far without my TSāer friends. No need for shoutouts, cause that list is fucking long. But all of you helped me in some shape or form and I couldnāt be more grateful.
By the way this was yesterday 6/20 but Iām a slacker so 2 years one day
it took the mechanic 6-ish hours to do everything because the spark plugs were rusted into the engine, and then one of them broke inside it 
but the guy worked his magic and my car is running perhaps even better than when I first bought it!
not well written
Sometimes itās such a little thing, that helps another feel better.
