Do you remember where/what time exactly your post was (and between whom you posted)? Very odd. It wasn’t flagged or anyhting. I think I remember seeing it too. Congrats on 63 days!
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Yay!
Smashing it 
Check in-
Just arrived home from Los Angeles and feeling good. I got a job offer and it is official! I met with the Board and they are pleased.
I have to move AGAIN, but my son is coming with me…Yeah! My wife will be staying back in Michigan for our daughter to finish high school. I know that this decision is not normal (to be away from family). But, my daughter is thriving and I don’t want to do what my parents did to me when moving during high school. It was bad…
All in all, I’m ok. I cried a few times over the week. But medication helped and so did reading these posts. God is good and I’ll survive. I will persevere and my family will be together soon.
I’m scared and anxious to be honest. Ugh….Life is full of ups and downs. I NEED a job and I must TAKE CARE OF my family. This is what I need to do. It will be an interesting experience….
On the turntable…
Dr. John
“Babylon”
1969
ATCO Records
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Congratulations on the new job, sounds like a great opportunity! There’s no such thing as a perfect family situation, except on TV, or social media. Life is full of obstacles, and love will keep you together (I think there’s a cheesy song in there). I’ll bet your daughter is thrilled to be able to finish HS at one place. You got this!
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243
To be honest today has been pretty rough. My anxiety has been increased and my thoughts are all over the place and out to get me … It’s been a few months since I was really craving a drink but I know the way my mind sees the drink is not the reality. I went to a meeting. I called a few people. I cleaned my bathroom and my room and all of those things happened right after I thought about grabbing a bottle of wine from my parents stash. I don’t even like thinking about it anymore. Today is one of those days where my thoughts are out to get me and I am a loser and I haven’t accomplished anything and what’s the point.? But so quickly I play the tape realistically and I don’t want to be sick and I’m tired of being in hospitals and living in sober living houses and all of the consequences that come with drinking. Everything will crash to the ground with a matter of 12 hours. It’s not worth it and quickly I run through the halt!! Today is one of those days where I’m mad at my disease. I’m not afraid to admit today is one of those days where I’m dehydrated from crying. It’s feelings and life doesn’t stop just because I am sober and getting my life together… I have to talk about this experience I have to share this for the other people that are also struggling. To know that it’s OK to have these days or think about this and we don’t have to react. Trust me I wanted to react a few hours ago but I give up. I give up trying to make drugs and alcohol work in my life. The day is not over. Going to make some tea and Listen to some Kendrick and be mad at my disease!! But it’s also beautiful knowing I can overcome anything. And to think I was thinking about drinking over a really anxious day when I’ve made it through homelessness, break ups, family problems, money problems, so many things I’ve made it through in the last 243 days… Through all of this I’m trying to say that I am grateful even though I would really like a punching bag right now. I know that I’m not the only one struggling and I’m so grateful for this community. I see so many people pushing along and making such good progress. I pray for everyone to stay sober along with myself. Thank you for allowing me to talk freely. I hope that everybody has a good Friday night. Stay strong
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That’s wassup man I’ve been so caught up in self centeredness myself past couple days, Obsessing on things I can’t have, just feeling empty as my sponsor put it. The blessing is that we can do what you said play the tape through, reach out to others, and go to meetings it all comes together sometimes quickly sometimes slowly unfortunately. Someone told me today it’s okay man you’re an addict/alcoholic you’re gonna have stinkin thinkin from time to time. It’s all about progress not perfection just ride the wave man in time it will pass. Stay blessed in recovery my friend you’re doin great
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Wow Trevor.
What a great share. You are constantly showing us all, how to thoughtfully do the next right thing. And you certainly have accomplished so much in the short time I’ve known you here. I’m glad you listed your accomplishments near the end of your share. I am again so impressed by your constant work on yourself and the example you set for us all here. And you take such great care of Tucker too.
Give him a good pet from me. I hope he isn’t afraid of fireworks.
Enjoy listening to Kendrick.
I’m glad you checked in.
I hope tomorrow is better. ODAAT.
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Thanks for reaching out. I know at this point I’m not going to drink and I knew I wasn’t going to drink earlier but I just don’t like thinking about it anymore. I realize there’s going to be days like this. And I can definitely relate to the self-centeredness myself recently. I’m just gonna do what I can to get through tonight.
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Thank you Eric for always reaching out! I’m just doing what I can to practice all of the things that are being taught to me by people who have a lot of sobriety. I can’t explain what happened to me on my last binge in October but it made me fully surrender. To be honest I post this stuff for the other people that are going through it because that’s what it’s about. There’s no way I could do this on my own. And I’m grateful to have this community to be able to share and not be afraid about what I’m posting even though I want to take it down right away. Just going to do what I can to get through tonight. It’s crazy I don’t even care about getting a year anymore. Don’t get me wrong that’ll be a cool accomplishment but I’m so concerned about today. What am I doing today?
Tucker is doing OK but he’s upset because it’s been raining for hours and he wants to go outside. He’ll be OK.
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What a beautiful pic! 
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Checking in
Day 137
Haven’t been on as I have been trying to recover from Covid as well as help my hubby and another family member who has covid really bad, to get well. I am beyond exhausted and of course had to take the weekend off from work. I am grateful however that we were all vaccinated and that it could have been much worse if we weren’t. I guess it was only a matter of time. I’m grateful for being clean and grateful for u all and the supports in my life. Grateful for Canada’s Healthcare system. Grateful for many things right now. Just sucks being in this position. Hugs TS fam!
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Imma be 100 rn. Im struggling with obsessive thoughts about picking up. Theres something about long weekends thats a trigger. Maybe im just hungry. Fuck! I want sobriety so these thoughts are making me angry. Grrr
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I hope you and family get well real soon! 
Oh no, I’m not sure what the 1st sentence means, but don’t do it. I know it’s a holiday weekend, but hold on to your sobriety, 60 DAYS!! Play the tape, will you be better off?? Stay strong my friend! 
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As dumb as it may sound, I’m trying to look at this July 4th as my 1st independence day free from alcohol (or DOC) @Cjp and Boscoe, Please join me. 
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Hi, Day 21.
Been an okay day, another 3 day weekend. Works been busy, and we reached our financial goal for June, so we get a bonus, always a win. After work, (usual trigger), I spent a lot of time here to get past it. Depending on my mood, also am starting to learn when not to come here. Playing it ODAAT. I’m not drinking tonight, don’t plan on drinking this weekend. I only made it to Day 22 my 1st time, but plan on reaching 30 in 9 days. Hugs to all!
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That’s such a good way of looking at the Fourth of July. I’m going to do the same … Thank you for that
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4 months of no self harm
I am not looking forward to the 4th. When I was about 12 a long period of sexual abuse started literally as the clock hit midnight on new years eve. I was being assaulted as fireworks were going off. Needless to say I hate fireworks. My neighbors have been shooting fireworks already. Everytime I hear one I get teleported back into that moment.
Was basically convinced I’m going to die in this hell house and hell town earlier. Still not sure I’ll ever get out of here but a friend forced me to talk to him. mostly because I kept saying “I AM GOING TO FUCKING DIE HERE OH MY GOD” and I was completely panicking. He knows that I’ll never help myself. So he made me promise that for his ease of mind, I’ll call him if I start to feel bad again
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@Deelzebub…I found your post from yesterday. It shows you deleted it, probably by accident but I was able to restore it. Here it is:
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Hi Megan, I’m not going to offer any advice, just want to say I care and I’m sorry you’re going through these terrible flashbacks today. I’m glad you have a friend to talk to. Sending a hug
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