Morning Check in
Day 157
Really needing to step up my recovery game here. Sometimes I become complacent on what works for me and I have been doing that lately. Even tho I check in on here I don’t involve myself enough. I haven’t been doing my morning routine. I began slacking on my exercise and eating well. I haven’t been praying. Havent been taking my meds when I should be for my mental health. And I really felt it. And then my addictive personality jumps in and I fight myself on doing what I’m supposed to do (its like the addictive me wants me to suffer lol). It gets tiring fighting myself… even tho I’m sort of used to it to an extent, it just gets annoying and at times exhausting challenging my thinking. Anyway, today I really took the time to read people’s Check ins and I wanted to get more involved again with TS. I have been having huge guilt and disappointment over not participating alot on here and only simply just checking in, which for me is a sign of selfishness. I then did my readings and prayed (and of course I cried cuz I’m emotional like that lol), and I’m literally going to take time to treat people well today (Including myself) and focus on that relationship with my HP. I did also work out this morning… it was a huge struggle to get out bed bcuz I actually took my meds last night which makes me groggy. So that just shows me that my body has to readapt to my meds again. But im on the right path now and I’m still gaining recovery every day by staying clean. I normally post alot of uplifting stuff bcuz that’s just who I am generally speaking. But honestly… I struggle with stuff in silence and that’s an issue for me. Bcuz I’m used to just handling stuff on my own. I don’t think it’s a mask that Im wearing… u know that mask that says everything is fine and I can handle it. But even tho I am transparent with my past (addiction, domestic violence, mental health, and my past with the sex trade), I often struggle in silence with the “smaller” daily details of life. I really feel like I need to just be transparent with my daily stuff instead of “everything is great and recovery is easy or always fabulous” bcuz in reality life is hard sometimes. Recovery is fabulous no matter what happens, good or bad. But it can be hard and I wonder to myself if my usual daily posts really represents what’s going on in my life. Idk. Anyway, I wanted to be really open with everyone and I wanted to start contributing more and just go back to the basics of recovery.
Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
Congratulations on your 40 Days Maxie.
This is the one you were going to get for 45. But I’ll be out of town. So you’re getting it now.
I’m so freaking proud of you.
It’s lovely people like you that help me stay focused on my recovery.
ODAAT lady.
ODAAFT (guess what the f stands for 
)
I absolutely LOVE it!! Thank you Eric. 
I wish you and your family strength in these hard times!
Congratulations to one full month of soberness!
I haven’t dropped this for awhile. So I’ll leave this with you. And anyone else who might want this.
I wish I could market these and send them off to everyone.
Congrats on Day 4
Oh and I’ve done a gratitude list on here
for 930 days of my 931 days AF. Coincidence? Nah. Gratitude works. If you work it.
I’m so so sorry for your tragic loss. Nothing can help but sending love and hugs for healing. 
Congratulations on your 30 days Mindy 
I was seriously just thinking of you yesterday and wondering 
how many days you got now?
It’s great to have you aboard with us on this journey. You’re worth it. And so are those kids of yours.
You can say sober if your spouse drinks. And you’re doing it!
I’m So behind on these, but wouldn’t miss you M!.
Congratulations 
and as Eric said (unless he edited) not on can you Say Sober if your husband drinks, and you can Stay Sober too!! 
Hey guys. Just checking in day 55.
I had urges all day long but I wont give in to those urges. But its been 1 umcomfortable day.
@Mindymoo Hello. Congrats on reaching 30 days. In the past I would struggle to get 30 daya. So congrats and take care.
@Piglet86 Hey thanks for your support and hope you are doing well.
Have a great guys. Peace.
CONGRATULATIONS! That is something to be grateful for! Hang in there, you want a day 56 tomorrow!! I don’t have a GIF for 1 day, well I probably do, but won’t send. .
Hey thanks. I am also rooting for you to reach 45 days. I dont mind the gifs🤣
Congratulations!
I haven’t experienced that but I do experience the extreme exhaustion. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. Also, make my heart so happy to see your name and know you are ok. 
It’s been nice knowing you all! I’ll be leaving this app to seek other resources and environments. Thanks mods!
Congrats you two getting to 40 days!!
Sorry you’re still struggling with sleep Maxine.
It took quite a long while for me to feel anything other than jittery, anxious, easily irritated, angry, sad, exhausted, dehydrated, sick to my stomach, desperate for sugar and ready to rip anyone who dared look at me or question anything I said or did a new one. Exhausting!!! Just like hangovers.
That said, I had drank for a long long time, so getting sober was 100% new for my body. It was an adjustment period for sure.
So many people suffer in those early days, weeks, months…with varying symptoms …physical, mental and emotional.
Adding in your RA…well, I imagine that adds many layers to your recovery. Hopefully you have a doctor(s) you trust to help navigate thru to health.
Yesterday my husband bougth for me a alcohol free gingerbeer, he did not find the one I wanted so he took another and made sure AF. I was a little unsure because im picky. But it was really good.
So I wanted to buy one today and I did. Put it in a glas and drank 3-4(4 I have number ocd) big sips. I read the label, it Said alcohol 4%! I immediately started crying. Spitting it out and pour everthing out the sink.
Now I feel so bad, and Just crying. My body was totally free from this poison, and now I have it inside. I hate to know its inside me, I dont want anything to do with alcohol. Im Just so Sad.
Edit: the one he bougth was AF, I bougth what I thougt was the same, but the label was a bit different and I did not notice when I grabed it.