Sorry to not update after such a jarring post Saturday. I’m finished weaning off my old antidepressant but now that I started the new one yesterday I am either having horrible withdrawals or horrible side effects. Not sure which.
I have never felt so sick in my life. Dizzy, hot flashes, cold sweats, etc. I think it’s probably withdrawals. My doctor said to give it 6 weeks but I’m working on top of this and doing school. I have to finish a week of school tomorrow. I’ve been so busy I forgot about it.
Hi there.
If you think that this forum is only for happy / cheery / rose-coloured discussions, well… all that I can say is that you haven’t wasted any time reading any of my posts !
I’m also doing this on my own, and part of the reason for that is that I’m too crappy of a person for anyone to be interested in spending time with me to any great extent… or at the very least, I’m not keen on foisting someone like myself on other people.
Hence… alone.
That being said, I still do find this site to be helpful / useful, and I’m hoping that you will as well.
Check in Day 52 - Hello everyone. I’ve missed a couple of days of checking in as I have had to move out of my friends at short notice. I have been sleeping on an old neighbours floor but have just found a room to rent to tie me over until the flat purchase is complete.
It’s been such a hard and emotional few days. I wish you all the very best for a sober day.
Focusing more on the two years that is just a hop skip and a jump away, but I guess a nice milestone. Coming to the end of the semester so busy and looking forward to the end. Trying to be a bit more present though, if I keep looking forward to the end of a class, the end of the semester, etc, I am going to wish my life away.
You’ve been there for me a lot. I appreciate your efforts here. 700 feels like a lot but you’ve shown a way to progress a bit at a time and that has helped me. Thank you.
Hi, checking in while checking in at my doctors appointment. On my 10th full day tomorrow. Been smoking like a locomotive but i guess its better than drinking. Im losing alot of weight too and my skin isn’t as dry.
Really struggling emotionally. Not looking forward to my appointment later on to be evaluated for counseling or medication. If it weren’t 2am I’d be very tempted to go buy a bottle.
My roommate offered me champagne yesterday. Not sure if it was a test, or if she forgot. I turned it down and opted instead for coffee. Trying to get back to that mindset and keep myself distracted.
Sent an apology the other day and didn’t get a response. Having to just be okay with that is making my skin crawl. Anxiety is real and it’s not a cool companion.
1130, 2480, 19
Late coffee, as I’m working late shifts. It’s really warming up outside. Will find out if the climate control/AC at work really is as efficient as they say. First work meeting in my still newish job is coming up. Hurrah.
Whatever the weather and whatever my work I’m sober and clean. One day at a time. Whatever life throws at us there’s absolutely nothing booze or drugs would help us with. The longer and the more I used the worse my mental health became. So glad to be free of that.
Life still isn’t easy, in fact it’s more complicated because now I make an effort to make my life better instead of just wallowing in misery and slowly sinking ever deeper in it. Recovery/discovery is work and pretty hard work at times too. It’s a work of love though, and absolutely necessary to make something of myself and of my life.
Have a good day all, or at least as good as you all can. Make it clean and sober to begin with. There is no other way for us. Well, maybe there is but that other road really only leads downward. Love from my living alarm clock Luna and me.
