2nd update.
I’m mad about this. What does a heartbreak sound like?
A bottle opening.
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Oh no, that sounds awful. And wtf is the deal with periods turning up at the worst possible time?? Hope you feel better soon xx
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Coffee. My working weekend with two late shifts is coming up. Think I’ll go biking to work today, wind looks favourable, and it’s not too hot (yet).
Remaining sober and clean is a no brainer for me these days. Nothing gets better from using. Recovery/discovery is lots of work but it’s work of love. Love for myself, love for those I love, love for the world. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober. It’s why we’re here. Love from the polder.
@CB103036 Day one it is. Let’s do this. Don’t try it alone. And don’t open another one. We’re in this together.
@Misokatsu They truly do not understand. They do not know. Not saying it isn’t frustrating but I only found out myself how much work recovery actually is by doing it. Work I’m happy to do now but still. I’m sorry. Hugs.
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@SoberWalker It’s good to see you and see you doing better. I was worried about you I figured you had gotten pretty sick because you hadn’t been checking in. I’m glad it’s all getting better I’m sorry you had such a hard time.
To the rest of you with Covid take good care and I hope you all heal quickly. There’s lots in our group with it. Get well wishes to everybody.
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Day 298 checking in 
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Forcing myself to just lay down and go to sleep since it’s about 1: 30am here. I’m hitting the sleeplessness wall hard lately. I feel glad I didn’t binge tonight but honestly, I could stay up for hours if I let myself.
I used to be this way before using as well; sometimes it’s nice staying up late into the witching hours for sure, but waking up with kids in the mornings at this point makes that a rarity, or more commonly, just self-inflicted damage the next day lol.
No melatonin bc messes w/my meds, so just white noise for days
Be back much later today lol
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Day 1576…breakfast, then blueberry picking, then an afternoon of hobby time.
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Exactly. Hey, you’re here! And that means you are making progress. Never ever give up!
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Thanks Miranda, yes I have a very caring and perfect partner who is pandering to my every need. 
I have some fans and Def going to make a kind of space station type set up with me in the fan cockpit! I’m really hoping it’s bloody gone soon! I used to have tonsillitis up to twenty times a year when little, which is how I recognise the misery. I think the pain/ memory is taking me back to Titanic. Yours sounded so rough! Good luck with the heat!
I know, they are like buses after you start walking. 
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Exactly! A bus that splashes you with an enormous puddle as it drives past
Day 7!
I commit to my promise to myself and my family to not drink today! I’m greatful for everything I have.
Weekends are tough for me, but I got through Friday night! I had a flavored seltzer and stayed present with my family watching movie. It feels so good to not be hungover! I have a lot to do today. My son is having 10 friends over for a pool party! I’m looking forward to seeing him have fun with his friends.
I feel no shame today! I hope and pray for all you to feel as good as I do in this moment!
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Day 46. Feeling tired, but grateful and optimistic and ready to start the day and see my two beautiful girls. Did some deadlifts yesterday and workout went good, I had a little moment yesterday where I almost let myself play victim and have a pitty party but I sucked it up pretty quickly, I was upset bc the eye doctors never called to tell me they needed to reschedule and I showed up hopeful I was walking out with contacts, but that didn’t happen. But yeah life’s on life’s terms. I also made a mistake and last week lended one of the guys 20 dollars cuzz he was going to pay me back yesterday and he never did, I’m not gonna take it personal or even bother asking for it back I’m just gonna move on and never do it again. Doctor is trying me on another new medication called buspirone or buspar. Will see what it does. So now I’m on Wellbutrin, buspar, and abilfy. They think curing my anxiety will fix my ADHD which I’ve told them I’ve had ADHD since I was a kid before I even had anxiety. So I wish they would listen to me one time and just give me something for my ADHD
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Good morning. My daughter got engaged last night! We are thrilled for them both and I’m grateful and excited for their new chapter.
Their engagement is also a great metaphor for sobriety. Just as they are making a commitment to stick together through life’s joys and tragedies, I’m making a commitment to do the same with sobriety. Every day.
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Day 764 clean and sober. Up early to work in detox today and tomorrow. It’s super triggering for me on many levels but it’s where my boss needs me so that’s that. I most likely will be checking in a second time later today, it helps to let it out to let it go. Wow that sounds like a new recovery jingle yeah??? “Let it out to let it go” 
I’m so cheesy!! Anyway, I hope everyone has an amazing day today I love you guys!!! 
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So feel for you (and everyone here also who is unwell). You sound very similar to how I was feeling with it 
nothing helped my throat except a throat spray from the chemist that had an antibacterial AND anaesthetic in it. The anaesthetic gave enough relief to help me sleep at night until it wore off (the pain from swallowing would wake me up) so I kept it next to the bed to use regularly x
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Hey all, checking in on day 762. I hope everyone has a good one!
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199… still here still AF and still fighting for my life! ODAT!
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2 years, 4 months and 24 days. A lot has changed since I got 2 years clean 4 months ago… for the good. I still have to live life on life’s terms which is what I am currently dealing w right now. I still have Covid, I threw out my lower back and I am upset that I can’t workout. I am basically at a point where I am supposed to rest and just try and work the 3rd step… I started it a little bit in the step working guide but had the realization that maybe all these trials I am going through in my recovery are helping me to trust in my HPs will instead of my own. I am at a vulnerable place where I don’t have all of my other distractions or things that I am in control of that help me feel in control in recovery are not at my disposal. I heard my HP tell me last night to take a bath and I was fighting it but I did it and I am so glad I listened bc it felt so good. I had the lights off and a candle lit and I was just thinking about the disease and all the crazy shit that was going on in my head and I just kept saying “I am Flannery… and I’m an addict.” “ I am an addict in recovery” and it felt like all that nonsense in my mind faded away. I have been trying to control my disease even in recovery and I have to make a daily decision to surrender and remind myself that I am POWERLESS and my life is UNMANAGEABLE. The first step is the most important step. I am admitting that I am powerless over my addiction and my life is unmanageable and JUST FOR TODAY… I will not drink or get high. I hope you have a good day. Thanks for letting me share.
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