Another disappointing day, not achieved my goals, but did eat food. Try again tomorrow x
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Congratulations on your 800 days of freedom Nordique. Thatās what weāre talking about!!
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Checking in, just wrapping up day 5 without a drink! I havenāt made it past day 4 for a few years, feeling good about this round.
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@Butterflymoonwoman I had this song in my head regarding earlier conversation. if you have 5 minutes to chill, itās a beautiful song. Sheās Canadian; Ontario I think.
@Piglet86 I made those tacos I mentioned earlier. Didnāt know warming up the taco shells made them wilt. Ended up breaking them so I had to make a ātaco sandwichā with the two halves. 
Still, though: tacos!
Exactly how my day went, but tomorrow is another opportunity. 
Wasnāt it Oscar Wilde that said āHell is other peopleā?
Day 15
Pretty good day. Case mgr. stopped by. We dropped off my lease renewal so I have my place for another year, assuming I donāt screw it up. We also stopped by Godās Storehouse and I got to pick out some clothes that actually fit. I really hate the weight that I just gained out of nowhere. I was already out of shape, and just suddenly swole up. And exercise aināt easy because of mobility and breathing issues.
I got a job today, I think. Theyāre placing the full time people on the schedule first, and putting part-time people to fill in the gaps. It could be two weeks before I start, but I really canāt go that long without an income.
Worst thing that happened today? Found a $100 bill, which naturally turned out to be fake. 
So Iām gonna clean up my taco stuff and wash some dishes and maybe get a movie in. Have a great sober night, friends! 
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Day 171
The days really add up!
Did not set the timer to tidy before bed last night. Was exhausted and miserable.
Had dark angry thoughts for too long today. I need to take the largeness of them and have my calm and self parenting be even larger. They are so scary.
The dark angry thoughts can float on downstream. They wont fuck up the loving parts of my heart, they wont fuck up the good i want for people. They cant affect my behavior and ruin my life or anyone elses. They can go into FICTION and stay there.
I hope in time that tidying, being good to the people in my life, having responsible habits, the darkness will break apart within the solidness of my new life and be less overwhelming. I know who I want to be in 10 years.
Ill set the timer today. Ill watch the finale of a show i like. Maybe watercolor.
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Day 311 AF
Whatās good, fam.
Been busy with work and the kiddos. Went to the beach over the weekend, and my wife and I had a quiet 16 year anniversary. Still sober and thatās what matters.
I tried quitting coffee, but got a nasty headache. Canāt drink too much cuz then I get heartburn. This sucks. I was eating unhealthy again, chips, fast food, soda. All that shit. It got to me. The binge eating helps with the stress, but I gotta change my ways. Itās crazy tho, havenāt gain any weight. I am 132, 130. Sobriety got me starving. I donāt know about yall, but I am always hungry af.
Anyways, Iām glad Iām still sober. The fam and kids are healthy.
Have a great day/night everyone!
Take care. Peace.
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Soooo I have heard Loreena Mckennitt. 
She is from Canadaā¦ very much sings like a Celtic vibe. Iām sort of in awe actually and plz donāt think this is creepy. But I used to listen to her alot and alot of other celtic type music. Before drugs and my mental health took a turn for the worse at age 15, I used to actually do Irish dancing on stage at this thing called Folklarama. I practiced a few of my routines to certain songs of hers. Idk if u have anything like Folklarama in ur area. It happens like once a year. And it basically is a huge event that lasts for days n days and diff cultures have their day basically to show off their cultures dance and their food and music. Itās really cool. Anyway I used to dance in Folklarama and I remember being like 13 having to wear this beautiful stitched dress and the top was made of green velvet (VELVET!!!). Here I am dancing with others and Iām getting severe heat stroke from dancing under the spotlight in a room packed full of people. I actually got really ill. I still know a few moves of Irish dancing to this dayā¦ just too out of shape to do them without huffing and puffing haha but anywayā¦ I loved ur song that u posted it reminded me of my childhood and then also reminded me of how much I like her music. I totally forgot about her. Just really weird that u posted a video of hers, of all singers that u couldāve posted. Just amazed me thank u!!! Alsoā¦ im super happy that u have ur place for another yearā¦ what a relief I bet. And then getting clothes and a potential job! Thatās all good stuff!!! Wish that $100 was real tho lol that wouldāve been a rare find have a great evening Mark!
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Day 12
Today was ok besides customers be extra needy at work today which caused me to not get as much work done as I wouldāve liked. My uncle wedding is in 4 days and Iām still debating if Iām going or not. I will be 16 days AF and still not sure if itās good to attend. But not sure which one of yāall gave me the advice of going and leaving before the reception began but whoever it was thanks because thatās probably what Iām going to do. My car is fixed now and only cost me $55. Iām grateful cause it couldāve been way worse. Glad I didnāt stress about it. My brother picked me up from work today. Heās a lil over a month alcohol free. We probably going to go to this juice bar tomorrow to find some healthy drinks thatās healthy and gives us energy cause Iām always feeling tired since I stopped drinking. I also need to get back in they gym. Boredom is what caused me to drink and I donāt want to slip up just cause Iām bored so Iām trying to figure out what I like doing. Itās crazy how I allowed alcohol to take over my life for so long. Well Iām about to shower and get the kiddos ready for bed. Everyone have a great nightā¤ļø
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@Butterflymoonwoman Hi Dana, I thought youād like that. The whole discussion of crystals made me think of it. We donāt have anything like Folkarama, but it sounds cool. If you have 15 minutes, this song is even better, possibly her best:
@Piglet86 Still working on getting patches. Pain in the arse, waiting is. Salmon and Brussel sprouts actually sound good. (Yes, I really like brussel sprouts!)
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Hi @Piglet86 ~
Thank you so much for thinking of me. Wellā¦my wife and daughter will be staying in Michigan until my daughter graduates from high school. Soā¦ā¦2 years! Sighā¦.
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Checking in Day 5: I just canāt stop crying. Iām in such a state of self pity and weariness. Iām sleeping way too much. Sleeping is my primary coping mechanism. Iāve been āon again/off againā with sobriety. My confidence is broken.
Iāve had bad thoughts that Iām wearing down my wife with my crying and self pity. I deeply desire to stay married, but if I keep this behavior up, who knows what will happen? Pretty scaryā¦
This morning, I got a huge state of reality speech from my wife. Long story shortā¦.I must use my cognitive behavioral therapy tools to manage my emotions. I also must continue to attend AA meetings and stay on this forum.
I MUST continue to use positive affirmations and supportive self talk on a daily basis. Pastor Joel Osteen preaches about the importance of positive self talk. I need to take his advice.
I do feel that I can do this. I will succeed and I will focus on staying sober.
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I found it easier after the first week. Getting all the night sweats out and what not. I recommend drinking alot of water and eating what ever the heāll you want to get a couple of weeks under the belt. When I was drinking I was putting thousands of calories of twisted tea and sugary shit into myself and had to make up for those calories. Keep it simple and just donāt drink today and do that again tomorrow, Best of luck!
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Day 119 af.
Shot the lowest round of golf of my life today! Was going to go by myself but took my son with me instead. In the past I would have used this as āalone timeā and gotten trashed on the course and probably shot around 100. Instead had some quality time with my boy and shot a 82. Grateful for that. My wife was showing me pics of our trip to Europe when I was drinking. They are hardly pics of the same person I am today. Approaching 4 months af and feeling great! Work week starts tomorrow. Keep truckin yall!
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1173
Coffee. At work already. Had no time to write my check in at home BC I rode my bike to work. Early but pretty. Sober and clean.
Have a good day all. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come of it. One day at a time. Love from me.
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Congratulations on the four months, @BrianP , big wow Yay You! You have kept yourself sober through all that anxiety and manic moments! Big congrats!
Have a good day, @Mno Beautiful pics from your commute xo
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Checking in on another day 1.
Hopefully my last.
We go again.
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Day 33 alcohol free
Day 14 free from toxic relationship
Everything is getting betterā¦ Everyday.
I enjoy being sober more and more.
I am even not thinking about re-contacting the toxic guy!
Yesterday in group therapy I reflected that bodywork (such as Yoga, Zapchen, TaiChi) was sooo helpful for me in the past.
I said I didnāt solve things with my mind but with my body. Especially such diffuse feelings of fear or tightness. I will focus on daily Yoga, even if itās very short sequence and maybe join a new class for some of that kind in autumn.
Today itās a bit of renovating and making things nice in the flat, looking for job or study opportunities, having the appointment with my new swim partner with the synchron pace in the later evening for swim workout 
šāā
Ah and by the wayā¦ Hunger is a bit more regulated. This afternoon I will make Vietnamese summerrollsā¦ 
ā¦ As it is still soo hot in Germany.
Have a wondeful and sober day 
Sending love 
Take care 
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These early days are the toughest, stick through and force a habit.
Wishing you all the best.
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