Checking in on day 26
Im officially 1 week on holidays! 
Not going anywhere, my bad that the weather is changing for the worseā¦ 
Iāve set up a to do list with stuff I want to get done during my holidays, and keep myself busy! 
10 Likes
Congratulations on the date
I think youāre being too hard on yourself. It seems like youāre having a nice time together. Enjoy that. I know itās easier said than done but maybe live in the moment instead of putting all that pressure about the future on yourself. The right people will stay.
8 Likes
Thank you! thatās such good advice I really appreciate it! I think your right, not living in the moment is something Iāve been guilty of before and I have to make conscious effortsā¦ Iām just always chasing dreams and self improvement but not stopping to enjoy now. Your spot on, the right people stay around when your sober, and the others drop off.
Again thank you for your kind words and advice!
6 Likes
Dating sober sounds like it could be greatā¦ like a young teenager feeling all the feels really honing in on all the little things that make a person unique. I think youāre gonna be just fine. 
6 Likes
Almost the end of another day 2.
Last time I drank after a break it took me 41 days to stop.
Canāt say I fancy another of those runs yet my mind still trying to come up with reasons to drink. Not now brain.
Night all.
7 Likes
Finally off work! Iām sure I had an Awesome day at work because I was secretly
celebrating my 2 weeks of being AF!
I finally slept all night without waking up throughout the night which was good. Since I havenāt been able to sleep much since I stopped drinking. I guess thatās what used to put me to sleep lol.
I noticed how bored I be once I get home so Iām getting back into my candle business that I started earlier this year. Iāve learned that Iām at total peace when Iām making candles. Its so relaxing and I love great aromas.
Iām noticing the weeks are going by pretty fast. Actually I notice a lot more lately. Things I havenāt noticed in years. The little things are the Best! The simple things!
I used to drink to run away from life and the things in it. In reality all things in life are not bad. While I was running away from the bad things I never even noticed the good things.
Honestly life is pretty good. Sober life is pretty good.
Thankful for growth!
14 Likes
Congratulations !! 
1 Like
this is true
Wow! This looks awesome! What a pretty location for outdoor theater. Also Jane eyre is one of my favorite books.
1 Like
Iām bouncing on emotions right now. You should have seen me marching all over the house fighting back tears. Iām like 40 minutes from hitting my ten day milestone yet right now is the worst yet for me wanting a cigarette. That is a very strong warning for me that anger and fear arenāt the only emotions that will trip me up. Strong positive emotions are just as dangerous.
I got a call from Honor Flight tonight. I applied in 2019 before the pandemic hit. Itās been so long that I basically forgot and figured there were other veterans who deserved it more. I fly up to Washington DC October 29th. Iām literally starting to cry again just typing this.
Damn I want a cigarette!!
Shut up, Satan! Not today!!
Anyways two months from now Iāll be visiting the Vietnam Wall and sobbing like a baby. Seeing the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. The Vietnam Womenās memorial. Iām so honored to have been chosen. My emotions are a roller coaster.
I had more I was going to talk about tonight but my thoughts are frazzled right now.
Still clean and sober and still nicotine free. Life is good.
Be blessed
21 Likes
This is wonderful! Iāve known a few people whoāve been on the honor flight and it was life changing and affirming for them. Lots and lots of emotions there. Congratulations! And deep breaths, pull on all your tools. You can get through this! Youāre absolutely right that positive emotions can be triggers and can blindside us. Been there!
Growing up with a dad who is a Vietnam vet and having made a trip to DC to see the memorial with him, just the two of us, I know how impactful it is. Iām very happy for you that you get to have this experience.
6 Likes
If this is already your mindset youāre really hurting your chances. This type of insecurity will be really tough to hide for any long period of time. If you are able to be confident in yourself that will show through as well.
7 Likes
Hola 
Checkān in,
Feeling pretty good š today. Had a friend from a old womanās support group we used to go to come over with her kids earlier today. It was so great to see her. Was a 2 hour sit down šŖ that made me sit back and think š how much i really do miss my Thursday night Womens Support Group.
This was a group of ladies i really got to know so well we became a big group of a sisterhood! Five years and one stupid pandemic 
shut us down, then we went zoom 
, then one last massive bump that really took us out was the therapist that was running this group made a life decision and moved and the group came to end. Some of us do have each otherās number so thatās still a good thing.
Now, I have these work out sheets i am looking over and also working on for individual therapy. I would like some thoughts 
and ideas 
on how you got through this part on your recovery. Now just one more thing. I do not have a sponsor and have yet to work on any steps. Soā¦.
Thoughts and ideas on, FORGIVENESS.
I am in a situation to where i need to work on this and i am not sure how and why this works for me. Basically trying to understand FORGIVENESS.
I am also working on boundaries and have set a few of them and really hate them too but, i am setting them. This FORGIVENESS is really confusing 
me though.
Thank you 
4 Likes
Welcome. I like this thread. Typing here and reading others thoughts puts me in the perspective of someone who wants to be sober.
5 Likes
Hey congratulations!! 1 week felt like it took forever for me. Things might get emotional in the coming days but dont give up!
2 Likes
Day 173.
Big feelings today. Therapy. Missed another appointment bc i was late and I was so mad!! But i lost track of time and those are the consequences.
I am justā¦done with my intrusive thoughts. Im going to challenge them out loud. That angry, petty, mean person is not who I want to exist as, those arent the thoughts I want forming patterns, I have that choice.
I cant change the past but I have 30+ years left to live and wont become more of a burden to myself and others. I owe it to my childhood self too. Set a timer to clean, changed the litter box. Had a normal, friendly interaction with my roommates and cleaned the dishes when I was done. My cat is on my lap. Ill call my mom later. And read some of what I meant to read.
Thanks for reading.
12 Likes
2 years and 8 days sober. This is amazing.
9 Likes
Evening Check In
Day 192
Today was overall a good day. Exercised, paid bills, & went grocery shopping. Iāve been struggling immensely with late night snacking. Iāll eat well for the entire day and then once our son goes to bed my hubby and I almost always snack on something while watching one of our shows. This is where I fall 
Iāll eat really sugary foods which puts my calories wayyy over and makes me feel gross. So today I made the choice to get some rice cakes for these late night snacking episodes. Then came home to have a lavender scented bath while doing a meditation. Did some cleaning. Fed the eel. Read some pages out of this book Iām reading. Then went to pic up my boy from the bus. He had a bday party at school today. He came home with a green helium balloon attached to his wheelchair. And of course, as heās getting off the bus, the string got caught on something and it snapped making the balloon fly away. Oh my poor boy started cryyyyinggg. I have never seen him so upset. We got into the apartment. My hubby just got home and hes crying to him. I searched for some green balloons in my bday stuff, found oneā¦ blew it up and it wasnāt doing anything for him cuz it needed helium. This was his 1st balloon from school and he was so proud of it and excited to keep it. I felt sooo bad. My heart just broke. I went out for a bit to find a place that sells helium balloons. I bought him a green balloon with polka dots, bought a hotwheels car to attach it to, and then brought it home. He was sooo happy! And for me, this was another beautiful gift of recovery. Bcuz I had the energy and motivation to fix a ābigā problem in my sons eyes and to put a smile on his face. It felt good to be able to be present and in the moment solving something and making him happy! I dont like to boast honestly but im truly proud of myself and how hard Iāve worked to stay completely clean and sober. This picture reminds me of recovery:
19 Likes