Day 236 nearly done. Went on a sober date last week which was a first and went well, I was honest with her that I don’t drink and she was great, very understanding. We’ve been texting everyday since and both agreed to meet up again, I just feel like I’m boring though, if we could go out and get drunk and loosen up that way it would be more fun maybe. I won’t give in and do that but I do feel like things will fade away without being able to offer her that, then I just think I should stay on my own if that’s the case. I guess this is just another new experience of being a sober person now.
Sorry for the offload, I just don’t know anyone else to talk to about this.
Checking in on day 26
Im officially 1 week on holidays! Not going anywhere, my bad that the weather is changing for the worse…
I’ve set up a to do list with stuff I want to get done during my holidays, and keep myself busy!
Congratulations on the date
I think you’re being too hard on yourself. It seems like you’re having a nice time together. Enjoy that. I know it’s easier said than done but maybe live in the moment instead of putting all that pressure about the future on yourself. The right people will stay.
Thank you! that’s such good advice I really appreciate it! I think your right, not living in the moment is something I’ve been guilty of before and I have to make conscious efforts… I’m just always chasing dreams and self improvement but not stopping to enjoy now. Your spot on, the right people stay around when your sober, and the others drop off.
Dating sober sounds like it could be great… like a young teenager feeling all the feels really honing in on all the little things that make a person unique. I think you’re gonna be just fine.
Finally off work! I’m sure I had an Awesome day at work because I was secretly
celebrating my 2 weeks of being AF!
I finally slept all night without waking up throughout the night which was good. Since I haven’t been able to sleep much since I stopped drinking. I guess that’s what used to put me to sleep lol.
I noticed how bored I be once I get home so I’m getting back into my candle business that I started earlier this year. I’ve learned that I’m at total peace when I’m making candles. Its so relaxing and I love great aromas.
I’m noticing the weeks are going by pretty fast. Actually I notice a lot more lately. Things I haven’t noticed in years. The little things are the Best! The simple things!
I used to drink to run away from life and the things in it. In reality all things in life are not bad. While I was running away from the bad things I never even noticed the good things.
Honestly life is pretty good. Sober life is pretty good.
Thankful for growth!
I’m bouncing on emotions right now. You should have seen me marching all over the house fighting back tears. I’m like 40 minutes from hitting my ten day milestone yet right now is the worst yet for me wanting a cigarette. That is a very strong warning for me that anger and fear aren’t the only emotions that will trip me up. Strong positive emotions are just as dangerous.
I got a call from Honor Flight tonight. I applied in 2019 before the pandemic hit. It’s been so long that I basically forgot and figured there were other veterans who deserved it more. I fly up to Washington DC October 29th. I’m literally starting to cry again just typing this.
Damn I want a cigarette!!
Shut up, Satan! Not today!!
Anyways two months from now I’ll be visiting the Vietnam Wall and sobbing like a baby. Seeing the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. The Vietnam Women’s memorial. I’m so honored to have been chosen. My emotions are a roller coaster.
I had more I was going to talk about tonight but my thoughts are frazzled right now.
Still clean and sober and still nicotine free. Life is good.
This is wonderful! I’ve known a few people who’ve been on the honor flight and it was life changing and affirming for them. Lots and lots of emotions there. Congratulations! And deep breaths, pull on all your tools. You can get through this! You’re absolutely right that positive emotions can be triggers and can blindside us. Been there!
Growing up with a dad who is a Vietnam vet and having made a trip to DC to see the memorial with him, just the two of us, I know how impactful it is. I’m very happy for you that you get to have this experience.
If this is already your mindset you‘re really hurting your chances. This type of insecurity will be really tough to hide for any long period of time. If you are able to be confident in yourself that will show through as well.
Feeling pretty good 👍 today. Had a friend from a old woman’s support group we used to go to come over with her kids earlier today. It was so great to see her. Was a 2 hour sit down 🪑 that made me sit back and think 💭 how much i really do miss my Thursday night Womens Support Group.
This was a group of ladies i really got to know so well we became a big group of a sisterhood! Five years and one stupid pandemic shut us down, then we went zoom , then one last massive bump that really took us out was the therapist that was running this group made a life decision and moved and the group came to end. Some of us do have each other’s number so that’s still a good thing.
Now, I have these work out sheets i am looking over and also working on for individual therapy. I would like some thoughts and ideas on how you got through this part on your recovery. Now just one more thing. I do not have a sponsor and have yet to work on any steps. So….
Thoughts and ideas on, FORGIVENESS.
I am in a situation to where i need to work on this and i am not sure how and why this works for me. Basically trying to understand FORGIVENESS.
I am also working on boundaries and have set a few of them and really hate them too but, i am setting them. This FORGIVENESS is really confusing me though.
Thank you
Big feelings today. Therapy. Missed another appointment bc i was late and I was so mad!! But i lost track of time and those are the consequences.
I am just…done with my intrusive thoughts. Im going to challenge them out loud. That angry, petty, mean person is not who I want to exist as, those arent the thoughts I want forming patterns, I have that choice.
I cant change the past but I have 30+ years left to live and wont become more of a burden to myself and others. I owe it to my childhood self too. Set a timer to clean, changed the litter box. Had a normal, friendly interaction with my roommates and cleaned the dishes when I was done. My cat is on my lap. Ill call my mom later. And read some of what I meant to read.
Not going anywhere, my bad that the weather is changing for the worse… 
Shut up, Satan! Not today!!
shut us down, then we went zoom 
, then one last massive bump that really took us out was the therapist that was running this group made a life decision and moved and the group came to end. Some of us do have each other’s number so that’s still a good thing.
and ideas 
on how you got through this part on your recovery. Now just one more thing. I do not have a sponsor and have yet to work on any steps. So….
me though.
