Ah shit. Sorry to read this CJ. I do indeed remember that shit. It sucked. I actually got a few of those before my first year. I couldn’t figure it out. Sometimes milestone malady. You are coming up on 100 days. But even knowing this doesn’t help the depression. I had to ride it out. Took care of the pets and didn’t drink. And that was all I could do. And I’d call it a win. Still did my gratitude. We’re here for you. So is Boscoe.
ODAAT
Edit.
Made sure I got my walks in. Pets, walks and gratitude.
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I used alcohol to cope with mental health issues. I can absolutely relate. I hope you can take some steps to address the feelings you’re having (or lack thereof - sometimes that’s how depression feels, too). Sending hugs.
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I know, it’s hard to believe! It was really slow going at first but now I’m unbothered by it and that feels great, not having weed and alcohol be markers of my identity! I really couldn’t have made the progress i did without this place for sure though.
Here’s to 120 more days and further
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I’m sorry you are experiencing this . I very much understand as I feel I’m just coming out of a depression episode that lasted a couple weeks . A lot of feeling sadness and sleeping 12 or 14 hours and Just not feeling it and down… Keep doing the basic things that have keep you sober and know this will pass . Sometimes I have to make myself go for a walk , or sometimes I have to brush my teeth a few times a day because it feels like something small and positive I can do to reset …or put water on my face , or small positive things to restart my day … not skipping meals and most important your communicating about what you are going through . That is major. I hope this passes quickly for you . Do whatever you can that you know will help . I’m diagnosed bipolar but I usually suffer in the opposite direction with mania and being and feeling out of control … I understand very much both sides . These feelings can be difficult but your doing everything you need for your recovery and mental health …
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Thanks so much! Honestly, no sweat about the name thing, I struggle with name recall frequently, definitely no harm done 
I’ve been so busy with a variety of just about everything lately, both in my own head and externally, so checking in here has been on my mind but some days it just doesn’t make it into the roster of my mental checklist lol
Things area changing for the better though, and I’m going to make sure to check in here all at least every couple days(ish) just to make sure I’m staying engaged 
Thanks again!
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Thank you so much I appreciate everyone’s support
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Thank you for the love and kind words
@Bluekoolaid @Lorelai @RosaCanDo @Dazercat
Your kindness brought me to tears. I love you.
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Had another storm roll through. About an hour of heavy rain minus the crazy lightening this time. Going to have to shop vac flooding out of the back room…again. 
Been a fairly decent day despite having to clean up things.
Mother Nature gave me an early birthday present. Isn’t it gorgeous?
Be blessed everyone
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Day 722
Exams are over, just need to do some checking and grade calculation. So next few weeks I will be at home, trying to navigate getting the kids to do homework, reading, etc, keeping them entertained while not spending too much money, and daily comments of “what did you do all day, you had so much time?!”
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Sending lots of love and positivity to you. Life definitely has ups and downs even in recovery. The thing is these tools we were given can be used in so many facets of our lives today. Journaling can help with depression as well. Writing can help bring focus onto what is causing it. Remember when you were new and had to almost force yourself to be motivated for recovery? Try not to sink into the depression. Tell yourself to set a routine. Don’t neglect meal times, stay hydrated, make yourself go for a walk. I hope it’s short lived for you, hun. Sending massive amounts of light and love
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Congrats on your 100 days booze free Brian.
You keep that shit up.
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Hey CJ, you’re loved not only by hubbie and Boscoe, but by all of us too! You will get through the depressed days. Think how far you have come being sober. 93 fucking days!! You should be so damn proud of yourself, I am.
Sending hugs, I hope you feel better soon. 
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Aww thanks @maxwell maxine. This isnt new, just part of my brain chemistry. Just sucks! Hopefully this darkness doesnt last too long. Thanks for the love
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@Cjp sorry to hear I suffer from the demon depression too and 60-some days ago this caused a relapse. You are doing the absolute right thing by posting about it here which I should have done. People on here and this thread in particular have gone through the same thing and I am avidly reading in order to absorb the advice for the next time my mood tanks.
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You’ve gotten some good advice from everyone here and I have nothing else to add on that front. Depression is hard though and I just wanted to send you some extra love! I’m right there with ya, still working on crawling the last little ways out of my current bout of depression.
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Just wanted to check in quickly for day 417. Hope you are all having a good sober day!
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@maxwell I am doing good again on the max dose of Duloxetine, 120mg. 90mg worked for a while. I deffo recommend talking to your shrink or family doc about a rotation or increase. Also posting here.
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Day 154 of no self harm
I don’t think it’s fully hit me yet that I’m single. I definitely feel anxiety and depression but my brain hasn’t processed the reasons quite yet. I just feel sick with anxiety at random times throughout the day, especially at night.
One of my friends haven’t said they’re intentionally trying to keep me busy, but I think he is because they are asking to hang out every day when we hang out once a week most of the time. I really do appreciate it because I need the company.
Something positive: work seems to be improving. This trainer is giving us a lot more opportunities to roleplay and I’m starting to feel a lot more comfortable and confident with the job
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I read your previous post and I really think you did the right thing. You deserved better. You have to be good to yourself first. I’m glad your friend is helping. And work sounds good. Comfortable and confidence are great feelings to have.
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