Julia, I know you already know this but keeping in touch with your toxic man is just a bad idea. It is like you’re punishing yourself subconsciously.
Concentrate on your sobriety. I know you’ve been struggling with it so adding his shit is not going to help.
Take a step back and look at the big picture and what would make it look better.
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18 day is amazing, I’m sorry to hear your feeling so bad.
Can you get to a meeting ?
I have an online meeting code for zoom if you would like it?
When I feel lik you are now, I tell myself to get onto a meeting and see how I feel an hour later.
Drinking will only make you feel like this but double worse tomorrow.
We are here for you, we understand what your going through 
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Thank you all so much (I am not firm how to mention your names now 
)…
Your words were VERY VERY helpful!!!
I will read it again later!!!..
And make some notes about it!
Thanks also for the comments about the toxic guy… 
I am over the worst hours.
Did some meditation, resting and
will have some fine little light dinner like Omlette now …
and go for my favorite sport later. 
Drink is prepared…
cold Pomongrade Tee on ice!
Peach is also a good choice!
Thanks for being here in this healing community 
July
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Hey guys. Checking in day 8. Feeling okay today and I had a good session in the gym.
@HillbillyChris @Minatasha @Misokatsu @PinkyP
@KatoBaggels
Hey guys. I want to thank you for your support and word of encouragement. I feel very happy to be here again and grow with you. If I missed someone, just wanna say thank you.
Have a nice day guys. Peace.
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It’s great to have you back, congratulations on your 8 days.
I find the gym and swimming has really helped me the past few weeks. It’s hard learning who we are again sober, and finding new routines but we are doing it 
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Hey thanks. I used to swim bit but now its winter time. Maybe in summer time i will continue. Hope you have a great day.
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Feeling better today. Hands still shake a little, and some dry heaving and diarrhea. Mostly feeling bad about sabotaging myself again. Apparently I’m just not good at being a grown-up. I’m just possessed by this feeling that “Nothing is going to get better… so why try?”
I know that’s irrational but I can’t help it. Thanks for listening!
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I like that, I always said the same thing I’m no good at adulting. First thing my AA sponsor told me is that I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a thinking problem. I think I can have one drink but no damn well that I can’t do that. So I’ve been approaching it from that angle and trying to change my ways of thinking. Not sure if this makes sense or if I’m just rambling but glad to hear you are feeling better.
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Read this yesterday from @Claire_Quit
It really made simple sense to me…
“We are born with only one obligation – to be completely who we are.”
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Checking in
Day 176
I am filled such joy and gratitide right now. Went out with my son for groceries. We took the train. We didn’t have far to go as everything is downtown and close by to us. We had so much beautiful interactions with people today. Normally I am in such a rush and so consumed with what I have to do or consumed with the mood that I’m in, that I feel now, like I’m truly missing out on interacting with people.
We left the apartment and this little older woman complimented my son on his matching outfit. She asked if she could pray for him and I said that was fine. She said such a beautiful prayer. Then we had really nice interactions with people at the coffee shop. Followed by an older gentleman at the grocery store handing me a grocery basket and chatting with me about his younger brother who was also in a wheelchair after having multiple accidents. I could tell he really liked chatting with someone too. Then I was short like 5 cents for my groceries, the cashier changed the price at the self check out so that I could buy everything we needed. On the way home, this woman about my age was talking to my son and we started chatting ourselves. She is in school now to help those with disabilities. So we were chatting. Then we realized we knew each other from like 4 years as we used to live in the same apartment complex. She rolled up her sleeve and showed me the tattoo my husband did on her forearm! I couldn’t believe it. She is doing so well. Has a child now and doing so well with her life since having her baby. It was amazing to chat with her. She knew my son when he was in the midst of his diagnosis and going thru all that. It was just incredible to see her and to know she is doing well also! We plan to go for a coffee sometime soon.
Today just made me realize how important being kind is to people. To not be self consumed and to enjoy the day and the people that we interact with. Human beings are very social beings. Made me realize how much I missed having interactions with others. It also made me realize how self centered I am. Bcuz even tho I may not verbally act self centered. I think about myself often and what I have to do, and how I feel, and how people interfere with what I want to do. Lots of "I"s lol So today was really an eye opener for me. I enjoyed today’s interactions with others, no matter how big or small 
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I’d really like to have a therapist, because if I don’t do something about my self esteem, it’s just a matter of time till I mess up again. And every time I relapse, it’s worse.
Small steps though. Got the kitchen clean and dishes done for the first time in two weeks, and I think I might be able to eat something.
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@DLS I like that too; I’ll have to remember that!
@Butterflymoonwoman I’m glad you had an awesome day, that great news! 
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Congrats on hitting 4 months! 
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Checking in on day 10
Today I had to go back to work, nothing special really happened. The motivating news for me is, that I’m back to double digits! 
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All I can say is wow.
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Day 322 checking in 
My daughter comes back from holiday tonight after 17days looking forward to giving her a hug Have a good nite people
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Amazing. The two weeks clean, not covid. Hope you’re feeling better
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I’m almost at the end of day 8 clean from alcohol & day 7 from cigarettes. It’s been very warm, sunny day in Ireland. Irish people are just not built for got weather lol.
I wasn’t working today so I spent a lot of my day with a good friend, went to a coffee shop, walk in the park, caught up on what’s been going on.
Then I spent the evening with my son after he got home from work.
I’m in bed trying to sleep. It’s 9:36pm & my shift in work starts at 5am.
I’m feeling a lot happier than I have been. Happy to be sober, not happy about my 4am alarm 
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Sometimes we need to just have a day of nothing. We need to start listening to our bodies and taking a rest when needed.
I am so glad to hear your feeling better!
Nothing wrong with a bit of self care!
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