Day 5 Sober-Checking in. Hi- here in Southern California and living with my son in an empty apartment. It’s been three weeks since I moved here from Michigan. I’ve accomplished quite a bit: New drivers license, new Psychiatrist and started my job. My son is with me, while my wife and daughter stay back in Michigan in order for her to finish high school. It’s going to be a long two years. I guess that’s the sacrifice parents make for the benefit of their children? I can’t believe that it will be two years away from my wife and daughter…very scary. I’m very emotional about this. Ugh…
Honestly, I have to tell the community that I’ve been hiding from you. I haven’t wanted to be seen as a failure, as I have not been sober. I am on day five and taking it one day at a time. Oh Lord, please help me…
I didn’t realize how dependent I have been on my wife and what a burden I must’ve been to her. I am in a very uncomfortable position as I don’t even have any furniture and I am sleeping on an air mattress. Trying to cook dinner for me and my son. Thank God for frozen food that I can microwave!
People at work haven’t noticed my Struggle as I have hidden it pretty well, or at least I think I’ve hidden it pretty well… Who knows?
I’m rambling and feeling embarrassed about this post….long story short, I MUST get used to being uncomfortable and STOP THE SELF PITY.
I must get back to posting and reading within this community. I MUST be thinking about the people in this community who I care about and checking in with them…encouraging them. Lastly, I must attend an AA meeting here in my new hometown.
I’ve been avoiding my community and I have experienced negative outcomes as a result. Thank you to @Twizzlers for checking up on me (Hug)…I’m coming home to my community and I want to thank you all for your support. Thank you God for bringing me back home. I want to stay sober and I want to encourage others in their sobriety.
Welcome back Mike.
Congrats on your 5 ODAATs.
Lots of great choices to find plenty of meetings in so cal. I hope the move and new life things and being sober again work out for the best for ya.
I hope to see you around.
I’m glad ur back! I’m glad u opened up and shared ur struggles. We are all here for u. Nothing to be embarassed about. I really feel for u and ur situation. I can’t even begin to imagine the emotions that are coming up for u being away from ur wife and daughter. I’m glad ur son is with u tho. Do u both get along with each other? Also idk about ur area and what resources are available… but I know back home we had resources that would help with furnishing a home. Sometimes for very little money also. Furnishing an entire apartment is super expensive if u require alot. Maybe there is something out there like this for u. Just to help u both get on ur feet with furnishing ur place. Its wonderful to hear tho that u have made some great headway on other areas like ur new psychiatrist and drivers etc! I’m proud of u for returning here. Ur not a failure… we are all human and we at times make mistakes. Hugs
From a distant I really think: don’t be too hard on yourself. From what I understand you went from taking care of your son 24/7 minus some nursing care and directly went to empty nest in a certain way. One could say that you could have prepared but how? You’ve never been in this situation before. So here you are trying different approaches which is great. It’s only the second day and the first day all alone in a long time.
Hey guys. Its been a while since I last checked in. I have been really busy lately. I have been attending some cultural/religious gatherings, so sometimes it finishes late in the night.
I am 16 days clean today. This week also will be a busy one and I expect to checkin regularly from next week. Even though I have missed checkins, I think of you guys like everyday.
Thank u… I really needed to hear that. Just having someone comment made me feel a bit better. And the fact that u seemed to try and put urself in my shoes was comforting. I shouldn’t really complain honestly. These are very mild issues compared to what I used to have. In the grand scheme of things, this is nothing to fret over. Change is hard for alot of us i think. I do adapt pretty well but I’m finding this change hard. I can’t believe how hardwired my brain is to certain ways of doing things. It felt so freeing to be able to throw on some flip flops and walk out without having to grab a million diff things. Or simple things as using an escalator or revolving door (both I couldnt use with my sons wheelchair). I’m not complaining about my son and his conditions but it used to take us 30 min to get ready to go out and pack everything up. And here it takes me 5 lol it’s nice to have time for me but it’s lonely a bit. But I’m so glad for my son and sooo happy that he’s learning and having fun too. He needs to explore the world also in a safe way. I will find balance and like u said it’s only been day 2 lol thank u for ur post
I think you’re doing great too!
Hopefully you will find the free yoga class or something else that you are interested in and will be around people.
It might help you to schedule your day, literally by the hour, so that you do not overwork or not get anything you need done, done. Scheduling in rest time for you, time to just do what you want, should you want.
I’m so glad that you’re happy with the care that your child is getting.
1166
Coffee. We just got some much needed rain here. It won’t break the drought yet, but it already has broken the heat. Happy about that.
Did not sleep that great, as the rain was brought in by a big t-storm at around 4:30 am. But it’s OK. I’m sober and clean. One late shift to go before 4 days off work. Tomorrow it’s back to my experiential expertise course and Friday I’ll have an intake for more group therapy, for dealing with childhood sexual abuse. Both are work too, but work for myself, they’re works of love, works of recovery and discovery. Although the job I get paid for is part of that too now. Makes me grateful and happy.
Have as good a day as you can all friends. Make it clean and sober as it’s the beginning of a better healthier happier life for all of us. It’s why we’re here. Love from Amsterdam and the Chihuahuan Desert in 2017 (@DryIn785)
I survived yesterday!
Had a hard craving in the evening after my group therapy meeting, with already parking in front of a supermarket. Started the motor again after a few minutes and landed at home without alcohol! Okay, yes I made it!
4 weeks are comming soon…
I don’t know, if the thoughts of regular drinking will ever pass… I know, I will feel like the very very very last idiot in the whole wide universe if I will start again. And even a rule like i will drink once a month… It won’t work. I am so fucking sure. But I miss it sometimes… My special drink. You won’t ever get me with beer or brooze, didn’t ever drink that … But wine is still triggering. Although I am totally reflected about the bad results of my drinking!
Plan for today is a little strength workout and swimming at noon (heaven is covered, there won’t be too much people at the outdoor pool, I hope) and a meeting at the dentist this evening (just Prophylaxe, everything is fine).
There is a shop near my dentist, that is selling the best pomegranate juice… I will go there afterwards. It’s always good to have a nice non alcoholic drink at home.
Furthermore I tried a sample of very expensive,
antioxidant serum with Chia seeds (from Nuxe) for my skin… It is so great, I am using 3 drops of almond oil to push it in my skin afterwards, like corean skin care routine… And it looks soooo healthy and amazing. I am buying this almond oil in an Asian supermarket since years, it is not that expensive and sooo recomandable for sensitive skin. I have the idea to copy the Chia seed serum as a DIY product … I will research, try it and report. Okay this paragraph was for all the girls out there
As some of you like to read about my eating and it helps me for reflecting too…
I will have a pre-workout shake with oats and protein powder later in the morning,
potatoe slices and chick peas baked in the oven with a Dip from alpro Skyr with dill and some Coleslaw in the afternoon and something that is low in carbs for dinner.
Hi, so glad your back
You have a lot going on, why suffer alone when you have all of us here to support you
Dont ever feel embarrassed, especially to enough to keep you away from a great supportive community when your going through big changes and you know I think it must feel quite lonely. So remember we are here and you dont have to do this alone.
Your living situation, I’d say try and not worry too far ahead, try and stick with the one day at a time, and also I believe each day you stay sober and your doing great btw, 5 days congrats, after all we all know it’s not easy!! We understand
But every day you stay sober means your life environment will only get better step by step.
So glad your back here, seriously you have been missed. And I’m so happy to have you back with us so please stay
Hi, Dana! I know what it’s like to go from restless and squirrelly to completely overwhelmed. But you’ve just started having all this free time on Monday. You’re gonna be fine, okay?
@Miranda Congratulations on one week! @michaeljlogan74 Welcome back, Mike! @Mno Thanks for the shoutout and the pic! @Lovelyoutlook The pics were awesome, I’m so glad you had a sober vacation! @SoberWalker speaking of vacation, Turkey looks beautiful! @Juli1 You may have passing thoughts of alcohol for a long time, but they won’t be nearly as intense. It gets better.
Day 8
Welp, it happened again. I’m getting to sleep better and faster than since I was a baby. But I’m not staying asleep. Already had breakfast and did the dishes and watched some “Outdoor Gear Review”. And it’s not quite 5am. I’d feel super productive, if I actually had a life.
I guess what really makes me mad is I didn’t have this much energy a couple of weeks ago. I’m going to have to wait till next year to hike the Camino de Santiago simply because I decided to have a couple beers. My entire f**king life is 52 years of “maybe next year”. I wonder if anything at my age is worth striving for.
It’s too early to get this depressed. I’m gonna think of something else.
I’m going to be quitting smoking soon. Got two cigarettes left. If Neighbor Joe offers me any, I’ve got no reason to accept them. I really do have to quit. Got another appointment with Valeo this morning; not until 9, which means keeping myself busy for another 4 hours. I know if I go back to bed now, I’ll sleep through the alarm. Anyway, little to report at this early hour. I’ll be back!
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I’d feel super productive, if I actually had a life.